It’s always an ordinary event; walking along; picking something up; watching the kids; putting my shoes on.
I look down and notice holes in my leg, or arm, or hand…usually the bottom part of my leg or foot. They are large and open but don’t bleed. I can see into them, and the flesh at the top is separated from what’s underneath. There’s no bone. The holes are sometimes palm size, others are about 30cm – ish.
Inside its always the same; puss. Yellowish, gooey putrid looking stuff. It can’t be cleaned out and it just sits there.
I always feel revolting. I want to shower, scrub it off, out. But it doesn’t come off cos it’s inside. I feel anxious, and dirty.
This dream has never ‘changed’ as such…except with my change of age, in real world time, the dream has changed in intensity or where the holes are and what I feel like in them. I’ve had these as long as I can remember dreaming. They’ve eased up in frequency as I deal with my shit.