in amongst the shit that was today

In amongst it all, there was a gem. It doesn’t seem so bright at the moment…but I’m hoping clarity will come as I sleep…whew

I found the daughter of a dear friend today. I found her on  Facebook. Yep, Facebook’s good for something.

Her mother was a good friend of mine when I was a whole lot of years younger…before I had my girl. And after. And when my girl was born, I named her after this beautiful lady.

She had 5 children. And her life was one blow on another…well that’s how I remember it. But she would smile…I hope it wasn’t a fake smile…pretty sure it wasn’t. But I wanted happiness and fulfilment for her. And her babies.

I’d never forgotten how precious a soul she really was. That she not only smiled when it hurt…and she was self-conscious of her smile…but she threw open her doors to those that were hurt and helpless and needing and wanting and trying and turning and running and crying and…and

She was there.

Until she wasn’t.

And when she died, I wasn’t there. And I lost touch with her family. And I had always wondered how they were.

And I found her daughter today. And she is just as beautiful as her mother. And I told her what I felt like…and she politely relieved my guilt…very kind. And she gave me understanding of how my friend had died. That she hadn’t wanted anyone there…she didn’t want her fragile friends to hurt.

Ouch.

And that was her. Thinking and loving those her loved her…more than we loved her.

But I found her girl…and heard about the boys…and I’ll keep in touch with them now…

xxoo

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