shoulda stayed in bed

  • one of ‘those’ days
  • dizzy as fuck
  • anxiety raging
  • shaky
  • hyperventilating
  • I found another patch on my head
  • cringe
  • not this again
  • tried to walk down the road
  • the world spun
  • I cried
  • upset, angry
  • home I go
  • home for now anyway
  • WTF, I like feeling good
  • YES, I fucking get that life has ups and downs
  • BUT, cant the ups be just a bit longer
  • For fucks sakes, please
  • Then, ass I caught my breath, just for a minute and stopped the world spinning
  • my father rang…
  • blah, blah, blah
  • me, me,me
  • I haven’t given a fuck about you most of your life…but I want you to listen to me grizzle on about my shit (write a Blog you old cunt!)
  • Yes, tiny bit harsh
  • Yes, I feel momentary guilt
  • Yes, I’m over the selfish prick
  • For now
  • And just as I caught another breath, and made the world stop spinning again
  • My partner rang
  • ‘Guess what’
  • What?
  • ‘You know how I had the MRI the other day?’
  • Yes
  • ‘Well the surgeon rang’
  • What at 730pm?
  • ‘Yes’
  • Wtf
  • ‘Yes, I know. He’s going on holiday’
  • Cunt…my new favourite word btw
  • ‘They found a tumour in the spine’
  • W T F …
  • really, what the fuck?
  • ‘They found a tumour in the spine’
  • Why? How?
  • ‘They said it has to be surgically removed, but explains the pain’
  • ‘They also say it’s not ‘covered”
  • Silence….
  • ‘Dad says hi btw… I chopped their wood cos they’re all sick…and they are cold…
  • he says hi and shame about the house ha-ha…yous can go live at auntys haha’
  • Oh My Fucken God
  • So we are broke,
  • near homeless,
  • near bald,
  • stressed
  • and now tumor-ised…
  • and You are getting them warm?
  • And he’s taking the piss out of our situation?
  • Old cunt.
  • You are too caring
  • But I’m too twisted.
  • If the tipuna can hear me
  • ‘Make your fucken point already because I am near over it
  • I’m not the greatest person
  • But he is, to kind
  • And I’m just about done
  • If you have some almighty fucken lesson to teach, Teach it already!
  • I’ve had enough of this bullshit.
  • My positivity, which was only just getting up slightly
  • Is depleting pretty fucken fast.
  • Make your fucken point already!’
  • I really shoulda stayed in bed with my pillow and blanky.

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