conversation on living

You’ve been hiding

Me…hiding?

Yes, that wasn’t a question

Right…statement not question line

That’s right. You’ve been hiding

And what?

That’s your rebuttal?

Yup

So your going to be obnoxious and obstinate

Maybe

That was another statement not question

Righteo

So your hiding…how long are you going to do that for?

As long as it takes

For what?

For you to go away

Me, or you?

Either

You make no sense

And?

Another statement

Ok.

We need to talk

I don’t want too

That doesn’t change the fact, that you need to talk to me

I still don’t want too

And so when your all alright, all in the right space and place…then you’ll talk?

Maybe. If I want too.

You know your being childish right?

Question?

Yes that’s a statement wrapped up as a question

Yes, I know. I don’t care

The longer you prolong this the more fucked up you become

Really

Yes really. And you know it.

And

And…this is not you. You are usually the first to wave the red flag

Well I’m tired and over it

So you’re waving the white flag then

Statement? Yes I am

So you’re retreating into your shell…question

Yes I am…for awhile

You know it’s already been ‘awhile’

So

It’s time to come out

You make it sound like I’m coming out of the closet of something

Don’t divert the subject

Whatever

If you were coming out of the proverbial closet, you would’ve had that done already

Probably

Statement not question

Ok

So…and these are questions…what the fuck can YOU possibly be so afraid of? What is it that could possibly happen to you that hasn’t already happened? What could possibly be the benefit of staying wrapped up in your little awkward fucking cocoon? What is it that YOU could possibly be so shit scared of? Finished questions.

….quiet….

Are you ignoring me now?

….quiet….

Really?

….quiet….

….quiet….

“I am scared of you. Scared of me. Scared of the whole fucking universe. I am scared. Shitless. Of everything.”

….quiet….

“If I talk I have to acknowledge…interact…I leave myself open and vulnerable.”

….quiet….

“And that has never really worked out that fucking well for me.”

….quiet….

“And it all just scares me shitless. That’s it.”

Now answer me properly…answer what I asked.

“I’m afraid I can’t protect myself. I’m afraid I won’t survive. I’m afraid….”

Stop…You know this is your fear talking. And that while it was true then…it’s no longer true?

…..

You don’t have to survive anything more…you already do.

…..

You just have to live.

…..

Stop guarding your heart and your soul and you mind…you have everything you need to survive virtually anything. But you don’t know how to live.

…..

Just live. This week…just live. Next week…just live. Stop planning and backing up and guarding…just live.

…..I’ll try

Do more than try. Sweetheart…you need to live…and I give you more than enough permission to fucking live your fucking life!

…..I

Live like you used too…live like you want too…fuck it all up and deal with whatever comes your way…just live. L I V E.

OK

Ok. We will talk again later.

Ok.

Love you.

Yeah.

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