so, I did it… :)

I’m not sure that I did it well, but I did it…the birthday thing that is. And now I’m back at home in my safe little environment, hooked up to the breather thingy, trying to get my heart rate back down. Holy fuck.

I took my standard equipment…music, earphones, breather, stick, emergency meds, water and a piece of fruit. Next time I’ll take a bigger bag though lol. Yes, I looked like a complete freak and I could see it on the faces of peeps as I walked in. But not to be fazed…as I had a timeframe I wanted to achieve…I headed straight for the sanctity of the ‘nibbles’ table and waited for the paua fritters to arrive lol.

There were shitloads of people…way more than I expected. But I managed most of that pretty well. Even a couple of polite conversations. I struck 2 very lovely peeps…they had a nice aura about them…and I’m not really into the aura thing…but you get my drift. They ‘felt’ nice…and in my little world…that counts for everything. It was also these 2 that I felt most comfortable with. I could see they could see my slightly freaky awkwardness…but they weren’t focused on that…they weren’t overly nice or overly compensating or condescending…they were themselves. I liked that.

But all in all…I did it! Yah me. I’m fucking exhausted now but my heart rates going down slowly…at 78 now. And I was pleased with the partner…he was actually patient with me and didn’t try to talk me out of leaving and congratulated me for doing what I had…that’s progress for us :)

So i’m gonna go and find a nice movie now and make a cup of nanny tea and roll a ciggy and…


Congratulations ME…you achieved what you set out to do…and next time won’t be so hard…yes that’s right, there will be a next time :)

Love and light and lots of fluffy stuff to ME xxoo


2 thoughts on “so, I did it… :)

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