was I always?

I wonder

was I always,

really,

so very,

bad

wrong?

1. all good there,

ok

mama left daddy

after daddy hit mama

my fault?

can’t be,

can it?

3. inquisitive

he played whore with me

told me it was love

was my fault?

maybe?

5. start school

grass made me itch

I blended awkwardly

mama was pregnant

that daddy be gone

was that me again?

did I do that?

7. I danced

loved to dance

she said it was doctors and nurses

play

though

me again?

13. that college though

horrid place

horrid daze

they touched my ass

every time

taunting, virgin

was my school dress

to short

maybe?

maybe??

15. rage

no school time

her boyfriend said I wanted it

my friend believed him

me? again?

15.5. belly swelled

eyeballs howled

fists to head

bruises, to count

he loved me too though

he said

me?

again?

16. the after birth out

the baby suckled

jabbed

and crying

sweet love, is

painful

its got to be me…

they can’t all be wrong

can they?

23. husband tossed aside

children, nearly

dark times

except for the Beam of light

coming from my bottle

its me

surely not,

but surely is

~

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2 thoughts on “was I always?

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