art and ptsd bullshit

I been so busy being all PTSD and shit at the moment  ; I forgot about the art thingy I’ve been trying to get to.

Yes, I stepped out of my little comfort zone and decided to try be all sociable and shit … but with something not so threatening.

This art thingy isn’t ‘art therapy’ as such … its more like a bunch of peeps that have had some fucked up shit to deal with, coming together and ‘responding’ … in a nutshell.

My kind of art really 🙂

And yah ME for even thinking about it and attempting it … (not to forget the positive …. I wish I had a “rolling your eyeballs” emoji on this thing … it would be used right …… here!)

Anyway … I had the epic panic attack and associated hissy fit when I attempted to get to the place to meet the coordinator and see the studio!! Pissed me right off!!

And is usually the case…I’m having a little difficulty coming back from that one and trying again!!!

And that fucks me off too!

I fucken hate being afraid … I fucken hate anxiety and panic … I fucken hate P T S fucken D.

I fucken hate it all.

(btw … I will do it eventually … its not in my nature to lay down and die … but today is one of those fucken days grrrr)

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