harsh couply days

Hey, thats how it rolls though I suppose! I am trying … real hard …

Still feel like I’m like 2 secs away from panicking and that sucks ass … so much so I ended up having a sedative … downer … anxiety fixer-upper … whatever you like to call it. I was kicking my asshole because its been so long without that sort of crap in my system … but I just couldn’t get my shit together … my breathing lowered … the orange wasn’t working … and then everything got too loud … too bright … and the rest is history.

Up side; I had a quarter of a tab as opposed to the 2 I used to have for this scale of anxiety fuck up … so yeah, high five …

After I had my calming pill, I headed straight to the beach … straight into freezing water … it cleared my head.

I’m going to have to take stock again I think.

And start calming the fuck down … go through what I know works and tweak it all slightly.

Argh bloody hell … it pisses me off … but …

Down, but not fucking beaten yet!!!

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