family fatigue ??

I have had the most amazing few days with my mokos and then last night with my daughters. They’re so beautiful … yes I am slightly biased though.

Up until this particular round of moko madness, I’ve found having them stay for longer than 24 hours, hugely challenging. Not just because these two are ‘miss nearly 3’ and ‘miss just turned 7’ and talk and ask ‘why’ incessantly … not at all LOL … but because I usually get fatigued, then overwhelmed by the noise, then frustrated, then sad, then feel them guilts, then back to fatigued … yes PTSD can be a bitch.

What I noticed quite dramatically this time though, was the lack of all those things! And in the moments that those things started to raise their ugly heads, I was able to manage them. I breathed, I ‘grounded’, I slowed down, I articulated what I needed, I made sure I got what I needed … I made sure they understood what was happening. It made the whole experience completely fucken awesome!

That corner that I rounded without really realising it … well it’s pretty bloody cool.

And as I sat up till 430am, and gas bagged with my daughters … ate chocolate … YUM … and watched cheesy funny movies … I loved every minute of it! I loved them … I loved feeling a new sense of freedom and relief.

Ahhhhh … *happy sigh*

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