my challenge

And this is where it all started. After re reading I know I have definitely achieved the art of NOT re-editting everything I write and that has spilled over into my verbal conversations. Some people need to edit lol … I have spent a lifetime ‘editing’ everything, including my thoughts and words, because I have been in hyper mode … because its safe … because its familiar … because its clinical. 1000 plus posts later, seems I’ve lost the need to do that lol.
I’m off’ve the tranquillisers lol but do miss them occasionally 😉 And I sleep at least 6 hours, sometimes more, at night!
There are definitely parts of my personality that are pretty much there to stay .. and I don’t mind. I’ve come to appreciate being ‘aware’ of my surroundings, intentions … the stuff in the peripheral 😉 I don’t miss being sooooo wound up you can’t step foot outside the house, or talk on the phone, or just relax.
I still love minimal, but can appreciate a bit of ‘decoration’ now and then 🙂

meptsdandallthefuckedupshitinbetween

I’ve had lots of moments and memories in the last week or two. I seem to lose them as fast as I have them though. That’s whats partially led me to the following personal challenge…

I’ve decided to take a journey through my life….to retain and document my memory of me; to open up and then lay to rest what I need too.

Its not that I haven’t worked on me at all. I’ve done lots of talking, writing, research, soul searching, trial and era, meds, no meds, natural remedies, ‘alternative healing’, councelling, psychologists, education, focusing, meditating, breathing, CBT, tapping, diets, no diets, change in eating….the list goes on. Its all part of my discovery of who I am, what I am. And I guess this is just another part of that.

At my last ‘assessment’ I was told by the well meaning, reasonably pleasant psychiatrist, that my recollection of…

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