panic attacks, counselling and a business degree…2012

I was just talking about the coming off’ve meds today, and remembering the agony it caused; being on the bastardy things in the first place and the coming off. In between undiagnosed ptsd and trying to figure out what the fuck was happening re panic / anxiety and why everything seemed so bright and distorted and completely unbearable … and trying to get some goddam help … argh, not a journey i will forget in a hurry!
I’m more astute at dealing with the ‘handouts’ now and tend not to get my knickers in a bunch as much … it pisses me no end, but I’ll take whatever the fuck I can get if it will get me to where I need to be!


I can feel myself speeding up as I near 2015, present day. Some of that’s my annoying urge to complete something – yesterday; some of it is the urgency of looming homelessness…and nil internetness lol; some of it is the haze that covers these last few years and my reluctance to delve into them in detail.

Anywho…I shall continue…

I decided to use the free counselling that ACC provide to all peeps that have been sexually assaulted and have made a past claim with them. I had few options open to me as my funds were not quite zilch, but near enough to. However, getting funding for shit is a pretty fucked up thing really…if you don’t fall into a certain category then your options tend to dwindle. Being Maori, a woman, a single parent, a recipient of an abortion and having been sexually assaulted, have all given me the…

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