After the previous days fuckery, I decided to do some serious self soothing … in a previous life that would have been a bottle of bourbon and night out stirring shit up …
But being all Zen-ny and shit now ;) I Hi-Fived the fuck out of myself most of the day and made sure every little thing I did, made me smile … every little thing … and I documented that shit with a tonne of photos … why? So I can remember!!! xoxox
The day started with me getting ditched without any acknowledgement of the day before … sweet as cunt … you’ll keep – Self soothing shit tis what I’m about today … and breath …
I did the biggest pot of freshly ground coffee I could brew and let that stew on the stove most of the day … Theres nothing like freshly ground Coffee … hmmmm
I caught up with my Blogs for most of the morning … in the sun … I perused my photos from the day before … heres one:
Remembering that my aim was ‘distraction’ at the time, not quality LOL. *HiFuckin5Me;)
Lunch time was a non event – I’m not a great lover of lunch … instead I curled up on the deck chair outside and had a nap in the sun :)
Must of been out there for an hour or so … I enjoyed that :)
*HiFuckin5Me;) – I slept – alone – in the open :)
When I woke up I decided to go to the Beach. I haven’t been down there since my sister died and we waved goodbye … So with stick in had and some music, I detoured to the Cafe first for this bad boy:
1 Macchiato :)
It was an extremely slow and leisurely stroll to the Beach … nice … no hurry and I enjoyed the sun :) Found my posey, dug my toes in the sand and parked up with coffee and biscuit :
Had a few tears … good tears … a few smiles too and generally just soaked all that loveliness in …
This little guy made for abit of amusement ;) He wanted my biscuit … which I did share .. and apparently it wasn’t up to his standard or taste LOL fussy bastard …
I took the long way home … nice and slow … and put my dinner on when I got back. Then proceeded to indulge in all my favourite movies, starting with this:
Followed closely by ‘Petes Dragon’ and then ‘DeadPool’ … lol slightly eclectic I know, but thats Me … and they all made me smile.
I was by myself for dinner, again, but figured that meant I got to pick all the best parts of the roast chicken and I wouldn’t have to share any of it :) and thats what I did … and sat outside in the last of the days sunshine and soaked some more of that goodness up …
So, once again, heres to Me … *HiFuckin5Me;)
I enjoyed my day …
I realised a couple major things throughout this day: ‘Real’ life seems really quite trivial and mundane when you’ve been in a dark room being tortured for a good part of your existence … and when the cage gets opened up, you remain in there because its seems safer than all the ‘unknowns’. But ‘real’ life also passes you by because the ‘inside ache’ distracts from any and all beauty there might be to find.
Well today … I found beauty.
And loved it.
And I think I’m pretty fucking gangster … :)
So, *HiFuckin5Me;) again …