heres a little something, ya’ll should know …

well here’s a little ramble that’s been digesting in my psyche for the past 48 hours or so … and i think it probably, actuals, started after my ‘discussion’ (tentatively termed) with my father …

I write as I speak … I speak as I write.

the dots in between my written words, pretty much represent the pauses I take when I’m talking

duly noted …

it would seem (as i have pondered many times) that this is not the ‘norm’ (once again, very tentative term).

or polite societal norm’, anyways.

thank fuck i don’t do polite societal norms, i say to myself, and anyone thats left to hear me …

but … (theres always a but … or butt 😉 )

the ‘norm’ gets uncomfortable …

who cares right?

apparently e-very – one, except Me.

There are rules of engagement, apparently, in polite society. They are, loosely … You ask a question, I answer, followed by, Me asking a question and You answering. In there somewhere there’ll be a few opinions and niceties … but generally (whilst avoiding politics, sex and religion) we discuss and exchange pleasantries. Those pleasantries don’t include ‘vulgar’ language or expressive references pertaining to the forbidden trio.

Now, I can’t do this.

Not won’t, but Can’t.

It isn’t in my construction.

And the more I’ve gotten to know Me, and the more I’ve let shit go … the more offensive, it would appear, I am becoming.

I reiterate:

I write as I speak … I speak as I write.

I don’t have an – ‘other’ persona. I am what I am. Shitty when shitty. Lippy when lippy. Calm and peaceful when calm and peaceful.

Is that due to shit happening? Possibly.

But who really cares?

Do THEY need an explanation for the reasons I am what I am?

Fuck No.

…….             according to the partner,  ……

previously (before being assaulted with my theories and getting abit of insight into the minutiae of who I am), he ignorantly stated that I should ‘forget about it’, ‘go with the flow’, ‘suck it up’.

And the response he got (well, has gotten for many years) is: “remember that guy that gave your father a hiding? how about forgetting that ay?” … No? …

“whose flow? your flow? why can’t you go with My flow?” … No? …

“suck it up??? Suck It Up? Really … you try juggling a pair of rotten nuts in your mouth when you don’t even know how to tie your shoe laces yet … and then you can have an opinion on whether I should ‘suck it up’ or not … until then … get fucked”. Got it? Got it!

Yeah … so he doesn’t go to those places anymore … he thinks a little more before he opens his trap to respond.

…………      so,

when this latest fuckery comes up, the partner, quite thoughtfully and wisely, I might add … says …

… “you know what dear … its a rare thing to find someone that says and does the same thing … that doesn’t do one thing at home and then change when they leave the house”

… duly noted dude.

So why am I surprised when a fucker backs up when I speak to them … not looking at my face, but my highly decorative, tattooed arm?

Why am I surprised that I get a different response if I put all the letters from my credentials after my name when I sign off? Or if I open a conversation with … ‘When I was studying for my undergraduate degree ….  ‘, the person I am conversing with straightens up and looks me in the eye?

Why am I surprised when I drop a few social science-y psychological-ised terms on someones ass, their pie hole stops flapping and they change the conversation to something more ‘weather related’?

It’s bullshit.

Today, …. its utter bullshit.

And I’ve had a cunt sized gutts full of it.

Yes see … if I espouse an opinion, it is mine. Not because of my quals or because I can read a fucking thesaurus … but in spite of them!

How is ‘not using vulgar language’ productive?

Pretentious bullshit gives me hives, cramps, thrush and a headache.

And I’ll be fucked if I’ll do it.

For anyone.

Especially, Not, my Father.

… …. … … .and there it is … …    …… … ….      …

Part 1 decision, is made! Cunt …

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