and we were ‘blending families’.
what a crock.
well at the time it was a crock.
trying to take care of my girl and part time his.
his by his rules. mine by mine. that part we never got blended.
entree … the next big ass barney.
taught to be outspoken, she asks: did you take my money?
the reaction: chairs thrown, insults thrown, me thrown, her thrown.
pou-pou called … again.
and in amongst it all, my girl had tried to protect me.
her protecting me.
‘how the fuck did i get here’
‘and how the fuck did i let her be here with me’
we went to court.
have i ever said our DV laws are a crock of shit?
we were the criminals. we were the ones harassed.
we gave up in the end.
angry, i retreated.
and yes, this was the demise of self. the shadow to cast all shadows.
the medication. the land dizzy days. the long sleepless-er nights.
the job. gone.
the income. gone.
the driving. gone.
the outings. gone.