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unfucked.today.

So between where I live and where my Mama lives there is this old house. It sits all by its little self, abandoned, in a field of grass.

Now we’ve been passing this house for god knows how long … 5-6 years … and every time we go past, and if I’m not hyperventilating and holding onto my seat … or crying or having a panic attack … I usually look up and notice it and say to my partner … “I want to stop and take a photo of that house oneday”. And then we drive on and I continue doing what ever breathing or freaking out shit I was doing.

Well, today I decided to go and see my Mama. 1st big call of the day, cos its been a busy week for Me. But I wanted to go help her with her cleaning and to be honest, I’m getting sick of being lame. I get I need to rest when I need to rest, and I can’t run on adrenalin … adrenalin is not my friend! … but I needed to do this. So that decided, the 2nd big call of the day was announcing to the partner on the way out the door, that I wanted to drive from our driveway to the 100k sign just on the outskirts of our little village.

Gasp. LOL.

He was a lot surprised, but I wanted to keep some momentum going re driving. So I did that.

Moment of stunned silence and a moment of victory dance ensemble.

Thankyou.

With that done and Me getting out of the driving seat I said to the partner (2nd announcement lol) … “You know that house we drive past and I say I want to stop and photograph it one day?” … “Yep” says He. “Yeah well, today we are stopping so I can photograph it. Ok. Okay.”

Again he looked a little surprised lol.

Off we went and we stopped and I photographed it.

Is it the worlds best photograph? Nope.

Is it even a picturesque scene? Nope.

Do I like it? Yes.

Do I feel like a winner … lol? Yes. Yes I do.

You see … it occurred to Me somewhere in this week, that I need to do what I want to do … Now. Not wait for ‘another’ time, or the right time, or a better time … because that never comes.

There is no right or better. Theres just Here and Now.

I’ve been doing the best I can with what I have for a very long time and haven’t really stopped to appreciate the fact that it is All good. That every little step; every photograph; every little quiver or perceived ‘fuck up’; every little breathe; every little shitfest or crying fit; every little and big scream; every running in the opposite direction … is Just Fine.

Because Today … I got to take my photograph.

That makes Today a good day to be alive :)


kpm ©


 

2 thoughts on “unfucked.today.

  1. You are on a roll!! I’m so happy for you!!
    You are doing some amazing things lately, keep up the momentum.
    And all those other encouraging things people say (LOL)
    Time to celebrate your strength.

    • Yuss!!! Thankyou friend … I’m a little stunned with myself actually lol. Feels like I’m starting to flex those muscles I’ve been trying to work on :) It’s nice.

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