the end of birthday month.

the beautiful thing about birthday month, is its final day, is moko #3’s birthday.

she turned 10 today.

& she reminds me of everything the is good in the world.

everything that is right. just. perfect. bold. strong.

“happy birthday beautiful xx”

for me, this month has been full of learning curves. some were pretty sharp. some a little more subtle.

its quite something to be in control, & i mean real control, of yourself.

for some peeps, that’d be a given.

for someone like me: who has spent her life running from being controlled, its a very new thing, to be in control of myself.

i’ve spent years being numb. disassociated ‘they’ call it. & i haven’t disliked it @ at. in fact, it was my saving grace.

the head fuck came when i tried to return to the land of the ‘feels’.

& let me just say here: if you know someone who spends a tonne of time being disassociated – or You are that way … leave it be! there’s a fucking good reason your body & mind has tapped out. but believe me … You are still there … you’re just resting.

& thats a huge thing to realise, embrace, & then let go of.

being in control of Me: my body, my mind … my soul … is quite fucking liberating. full of head fucks left right & centre … but liberating none-the-less.

so, this is what birthday month has been a trial run of.

& i’ll be repeating it next year, fo’sure!!

but i’ve decided to blend some of what i gained … the confidence … the breath … the doing exactly what i want … into the rest of my year: the rest of my life.

i don’t know if i’ve explained it adequately but oh well. i’m kinda winging it.

so, Cheers … & see you on the flip side ;)

kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


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