there comes a time, when it is a choice whether you see or continue to see things in a demented form .. whether you choose not to recognise the signs of ill life.


i started smoking at 11 ish.

i was angry.

but im not sure, at what.

i was wanting to fit somewhere.

to be safe.


like everyone else i guess.

but mainly to fit somewhere where life wasnt a fucking irony .. full of hypocrisy.

why pray to a god that wasnt there.

that never answered. never smote those who actually needed it.

cos they were all deaf and couldn’t hear??

what .. all of them??

how do you completely not hear a child for that long.

completely ignore the obvious that you know to be true. 

that something is wrong.

not the child.

but something else.


could you not hear your gutt?

could you not see the signs?

hear the signs?


but i figuring now, looking at the dissonance the world is in, that ignoring all the signs of something quite obvious to those experiencing it, is an art. & an art that is more common than i thought.



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