them say torn.

i’ve got holes, say they.

big gapping holes,  all over my personage.

not dainty little pinholes.

more like shreds of ripped rotting flesh.

.

although i adjust said holes,

spreading them out so they look like lace,

they don’t hold any warmth or induce comfort

or style.

.

as the wind howls through them

i feel nothing but a cool breeze.

as the torrential rains pound down,

i feel nothing but a light refreshing shower.

.

once a man tried to gather up the lengths

he mistakenly took for tatters.

he tried to point out the torn 

& the worn.

.

once that man tried to pull the holes together

& became disillusioned & confused

wondering why this wearer of holes

was trying to dance in the rain with it on.

.

he saw damage.

she was trying to see a leather jacket.

he saw ugly.

she was trying to see beauty.

.

these holes. they don’t hold anything in.

everything slips through them.

as unsightly as they may seem,

they serve a purpose.

.

& when she is done

they’ll wrap her cold body.

they’ll enshroud her corpse

& love her all the way back to the earth.


kpm ©


 

SaveSave

SaveSave

Advertisements

Yo

Guess what niggahs …

“I” am not Now,

nor have I ever been,

part of the “We”.


kpm ©


 

i.

“always look someone in the eye when they’re speaking to you”

Why?


kpm ©


 

see.r.

i see the things you cant see yet. 

& won’t see till later.

realising what i knew then:

you won’t acknowledge it.


kpm ©


 

why why why

why do we put up with it?


kpm ©


 

suppression.

The Tohunga Suppression Act of 1907:

suppression of the filthiest.


kpm ©


 

Image

dark, rainy days.

my favourite days

are dark & rainy.

because, for me, everything about

the dark:

brings calm.

to my mind; to my body.

there are no ups & downs.

no high highs, or low lows.

it’s just quiet.

just plain.

just grey.

just dark.

like neutrality,

but beautiful.


kpm©


 

SaveSave

SaveSave

huh.

“don’t frown”

why not?


kpm©


 

be thyself,

“be yo’self,” they said,

“and the world will adjust.”

well ‘they’ obviously never met

‘the world’.

JS.


kpm©


 

ty.

“always say please and thankyou …”

why?


kpm©


 

remembering

let Me tell you what i remember.

. begging for a conversation; connection.

. crying when the babies got taken away.

. throwing dinner parties.

. shopping on wobbly legs.

. paying the backlog of rent.

. walking to work.

. waiting for hours.

. cowering.

. being throttled.

. sitting alone.

. being told to cover up.

. feeling ashamed.

. doing family events, alone.

. trying.

. trying harder.

let Me tell you what i remember.

. you playing X-box

. you banging on the windows.

. you picking fights.

. you bad mouthing Me to my children.

. you saying my hair looked awful.

. you telling Me to wear something less slutty.

. you leaving.

. you ignoring.

. you helping everyone but Me.

. you, and Me, in court.

. you kneeling.

. you dropping Me off.

. you chipping away at my confidence.

. you criticising absolutely everything about Me.

. you taking.

thats what i remember.


kpm©


fierce ~

for too long

I have listened

remaining silent

to the ignorant

uncompassionate discourse

espousing their taunts:

 

“Get over it all ready …

Stop using it as an excuse …

That was years ago …

You need to forgive …

You need to move on”.

 

And as I have fought my own

demons

of a pervert cunt

getting into

my tiny panties;

defending myself from an

impending assault that

exists only in my senses and dreams now;

I am loathed to

plead

with you to understand my position;

to educate yourselves;

to show some empathy

and compassion.

Not realizing however,

that you,

the ignorant

do not wish to understand.

But,

as I raised my own daughters,

I learned what

being 3 looks like.

.

It has grazed knees and tantrums.

It picks its nose and flicks it.

It imagines fairies and candy.

It rolls around on the floor with its cat.

It chases butterflies.

It draws pictures and bakes cakes with its Nan.

.

and what it doesn’t look like.

.

It doesn’t have nightmares.

It doesn’t hide under the bed.

It doesn’t hold its head because it hurts.

It doesn’t slice its arms.

It doesn’t piss its pants in fear.

And it deserves

Fierce, fierce

Protection.

So now I defend my being;

my position.

And I refuse to listen to any more

uneducated bullshit

or let ignorance be an excuse

or an answer.

.

And for her,

for me;

.

for all those little people

that didn’t make it

out of that dark room

with prying fingers

and filthy deeds;

for all those little people

who never got the chance

to get out

and grow up

and live a life worth fucking living;

for all those little people,

just like me,

who grew up

into big people,

who are still battling their demons

and healing their scars;

who have rocked in the corner

holding their head in their hands,

for far too fucking long;

I will keep speaking the unwelcome truths

and the

mundane horrors,

so we will be heard,

our stories told.

So we can change

the future for all

Our Babies.

.

Haumi e! Hui e! Tāiki e!


kpm©


 

speak?

“don’t speak unless spoken too”

why?


kpm©


 

and.

“don’t eat that … you’ll get fat”

so?


kpm©


 

nothingness

some days, weeks, months;

there are

No

words:

i’m learning that,

that –

is ok too.

 


kpm©


 

hi

hi.

i enjoy

music,

food,

and art.

i’m socially

awkward

but looking

for

a partner

in crime …

Shit,

wrong site, my bad.


kpm©


 

st –

streng-

th.

“the capacity of an object or substance to withstand great force or pressure.”


kpm©


 

?

“don’t be too proud and full of yourself … it’s a long way to fall …”

Really?


kpm©


 

blame game…

the parent

for not protecting

for not loving

for not noticing

the teacher

for not teaching

for not educating

the crowd

for not acting

for not responding

the bystander

for freezing

the friend

for not intervening

the siblings

for not notifying

the victim

for being in the wrong place at the wrong time

for wearing their skirt to short

for being too flamboyant

for being to gay

for being to vulnerable

for being drunk

for being to small

for just;

being.

.

the perp

TO HARD

BASKET.


kpm©


 

no i’m not

contrary to popular belief

i am not here for:

your pleasure

your ogling

your hands

your dick.

i am not here for:

you to tell me to smile

to act like a lady

to speak quieter

to be quiet.

i am not here for:

you to moan at

to cry too

to comfort

to console.

i am not here for:

you to learn

to observe

to quote

to re write.

i am not here to:

teach you about me

usher you around the edges

coddle and envelope

educate.

i am here

because I am here.

No more.

No less.


kpm©