surreal .. is that what I feel. not sure. . seems to sum up the whole of this sitch_ation. . it feels familiar af. foreign af. heavy af. . i think i can hear my tipuna. the kuia i heard in the stars @ the start of this multifaceted fuckery. . i said i wanted to find her. & i heard a faint karanga. low & easy. . i thought that meant, physically, I’d find her. . but i don’t think that’s the dilly now. . sometimes I feel a scene unfolding through someone else’s eyes. i see water. not the ocean. ripples, & a gentle rhythm of paddles in the water. I hear twigs breaking. I smell wet dirt. I feel, right. at home. . pre white. pre invasion. pre. . ae. that kuia. as a kotiro, before they came & destroyed her world. . sometimes I can feel them all. all the kuia .. from all their lands. karanga @ the same time. loud & long .. piercing the night skies. sending shivers down the spines of all tane, living & dead. .
It’s my body. Mine. Not yours. Not theirs. It’s.mine.
Everytime some whim of ‘you should’ crosses my ear holes .. My body is now literally decided to noticeably Object. By noticeably. I mean. I’m noticing it. Actually.
All I feel, when the uncomfortable sensation dissipates .. Is, awe.
That she felt, held, screamed, cried, breathed, survived .. for so, muthafkn long.
“having been systemically let down by every institution & way of being that them cunts have ever dreamed up or destroyed .. my job now is .. to live the best indigenous affirming, calming & gentle life .. doing exactly whatever the fuck I please. that’s it.”
“yo .. thanks, for not trying to ‘lighten the mood.’ . . if the whole child / sexual assault tip, has upheaved shit for yah, start by talking to someone .. anyone .. that you trust. . ive put a link in the bio for nz peeps. they have resources & assistance for this sorta shit or can link you to the resources yah might need, whatever part of the process you at. for other countries im gonna suggest also looking at wellstop resources & then googling something similar for your country of residence. . . healing is painful af, but so is pretending it didn’t happen or wasn’t that bad … now is the time. breathe deep. you survived & next moves will require the same amount of resilience .. but focussed on more than survival. the time for protecting rapey abusers is way the fuck over. taking care of / healing You / Us is number 1 priority. healing You / Us, helps heal / prevents nek gen havoc. . . if u know of a child / ren being hurt, speak out on their behalf .. for the love of all things decent, don’t be a silent bystander. that shit is old af & has no place in the world we trying to make for our nek gens. . . ps : thanks for being here ✊ . . & that concludes birthday month .. ake ake amene. . also #FTP ” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_planet #bnw_rose #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
“fyi: there ain’t no such thing as ‘if I/you just’ .. .. take enough vitamins .. pray to the right gods .. move my self differently .. approach with more .. mind what i say .. do what they suggest .. . it is literally ‘the skirt was too short’ syndrome way of living life, & it’ll steal everything that is left of your soul if you let it.” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_planet #bnw_rose #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
“i am begining to have the most profound-est respect for what my body has carried & endured. i honour it by .. living well.” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_planet #bnw_rose #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
“me & me body have endured detrimental encounters, moral judgement, physical invasion & unwelcome damnation, for a very, very .. very long time. left to fend or defend, my body remembers that shit. hence it’s ever present caution. yes, my body remembers well. & has learned well .. I see it. Feel it. Take note. & take precautionary motherfucken measures. if an experience should turn out to be a pleasant one. churr. that can go toward the count & i will reminisce on the pleasantness. yeah. but until that balance is balanced balanced … I will remain forever cautious.” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_planet #bnw_rose #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
“then this twot reckons .. ‘do you have any record that you told anyone or sought professional assistance … ‘ .. so, i wrote me up a big ass affadavit & got me a bad ass lawyer, to present the ‘professional assistance’ cunt, with all the people i sought ‘assistance’ from, before i was old enough to vote. the over arching re-ality dripping offve that document? the distinct lack of systemic interest & intervention. similar to the aforementioned twot. . NEXT …” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
. . “April is Child Abuse / Sexual Violence Awareness Month. Yeah it’s some fucked shit that this is even a thing. But it is. So theres a link in my bio, for you to donate to Sensible Sentencing Trust NZ, or Google something similar in your country. The kids being fucked over would thank y’all, if they weren’t so busy with being fucked over.”
“not one ounce of any of it any time, do i take for granted. not ever. ever.” . . . . . . . . #bnw #bnwpolaroid #polaroid #bnwmood #bnw_mood #bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers #hitamputihphotography #noirstreet #street_leaks #streetoftones #streetizm #streets_unseen #noirstreetlife #bnwmacro #lensculture #lensonstreets
kpm© : me & pts (d) 