why why why

why do we put up with it?

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reconciling the hormones #11

…. captains log:

they’re still resting, I think – tension in my body is slowly easing – mind due I think I could do some damage to any fool that crosses my path right now – and I am thinking about taking one of the walls out – but this is a rented house – so mabes Not … well I feel like smashing something –

but yeah, i think the hormones are settling.

🙂

Video

sound of da police ~ krs 1

Sound Of Da Police ~ KRS One, 1993

myself & others

some days I wage war with myself

some days I wage war with others.

today, i’m on ‘others’.

good morning

After my usual expel-lations, ablutions and logging ins, in the morning, I have another little routine.

I do the rounds.

I check to see if my mama is awake to tell her I love her and I hope she has a lovely day.

I check to see if my babies are alright.

I wave to my neighbour Jim.

I check in on Kara to make sure she hasn’t damaged herself or another(s) 😉

I check AJ to make sure her world is alright ❤

Then Me and my coffee peruse ‘the news’. I try and make that as balanced as possible, depending on my mood.

Sounds well socialised and friendly doesn’t it – although it’s all done online.

This is my new Normal.

This is my ‘freedom’ and contact with the ‘outside’ world.

In the ‘old normal’ I’d be called a recluse. But I’m aight with that now. In fact I tend to embrace that bitch now.

This is Me doing Me the best way I am able, with what I have.

Does it piss Me off that my partner can jump in the car and take off for a 24 hour catch up with his mates? Does it piss Me off that an event I’d like to go to takes 3 weeks to prepare for and usually ends up more work than its worth; thusly cancelling likeable event? Does it annoy the living fuck out of Me that the eye ball roll I get when I ask if we can go for a drive to get an ice-cream is enough to put Me off going all together? Does it piss my fucking edges that I am A Lone most of the time and that sometimes, just sometimes, I want a friend like Minnie from “The Help”?

No. Not at all.

I am what I am For Now. That may change tomorrow or not at all.

Today I am grateful for the friendships I have, the internet, my coffee supply, my reading glasses, the 2 minutes of rain we had and my pyjamas.

choices choices

What does one do when you have no money and no insurance …

and you’re sick?

we have choices you know:

  1. You can let your temperature rise and the infection fester, ring for an ambulance. Cost: Ambulance: $90 (invoiced). Hospital – free – but a 18-48 wait and no guarantee they’ll treat you unless you are literally dying.
  2. Stay home, try home remedies. Cost: Nothing. But no guarantee it’ll work.

Welcome to 2017 where the healthcare is as fucked as it was is 1817.

Good one NZ.

oh guess what:

Apparently

‘we’

don’t use the word

Cunt

as a profanity statement:

as it refers to our genitalia

and undermines

our womanhood.

Ohhh

alright then

Cunty.

ever been ..

intellectually

raped?

yep,

it

feels

similar

to

the

generic

model.

narrative

ohhh

i can feel a narrative rewrite coming on;

in 3,

2,

1

broke

why borrow money

u can’t pay back?

to look good?

u end up looking

broke.

yeah, nice look aight.