366 reasons to smile ~ +77.

+77. These guys LOL.

We have know-it-all, wanna-be surfer, beachy types show up every weekend, with their flash toys in tow.

However, they forget to read the 101 manual which states: when the tide is low there are sink holes lining the shore. When you park a heavy vehicle on them, the sink holes, (distinguished by 1cm-5cm sinking wet holes), guess what happens? – You sink 🙂

Gave us a good LOL anyways … and then the locals helped tow them out 🙂





yesterday … today day

I haven’t been down there for so long … ok, like a week or two … but that’s ages for Me.

We went down yesterday to do some pipi hunting …

Today its shelling these bad boys and pipi fritter making 🙂

I missed My beach … I won’t be leaving it so long again …

It’s a beautifully soothing thing, the old beach xoxo


366 reasons to smile ~ +36.

+36. Our garden 🙂 Finally got some pics while the rain eased off. It’s slightly ‘wild’, which is how I like it! And I am super stoked shit is actually growing!!















“alllll by my – seeellllfffff” (thats me singing the 1st line of the chorus … because thats the only relevant line to this post ;) )

I’ve had the most blissful 48 hours all to myself!!

The partner went on an impromptu trip for the night and its turned out to be longer … thank fuck! I used to freak out when he went away, but now, I embrace that bitch!

Night Two saw the utilisation of this bad boy which I bought on my recent victorious trip to the Op Shop!

1 pizza stone and flipper-thing-a-me-wotzit 😉


And my first run with it, got me this bad boy pizza:


You’ll notice I got to utilise my zucchinis 🙂 Thats right, under a shitload of melted camembert cheese!


Oh, and those tomatoes are from my little garden too 🙂


Yes, I ate the entire thing all by my self 🙂 Yes, I suffered greatly for it later … but it was fucking worth it!!

I even got in a small walk … by myself 🙂 with minimal anxiety no less … Yuss!


And I had forgotten how beautiful my lovely beach is … even when the weather is shit!


So tonight is possibly my last night and on the menu is something a little less extravagant followed by organic milk and a shit tonne of milo followed closely by some deep and meaningful Putlocker watching: I’m thinking – TWD 🙂 Love The Walking Dead !!

And you never know … if the gods are looking favourably at I, then I might get another day to myself 🙂


365 reasons to smile ~ 364.

364. Done! 🙂



365 reasons to smile ~ 353.

353. Its been weird weather … we’ve gone from gale force winds and rain, having to light the fire during the day … to this blue perfectness. With the earth still jolting on occasion, I’m trying to take it one moment at a time.

And this was a couple of my moments  🙂




yesterdays self soothing shit …

After the previous days fuckery, I decided to do some serious self soothing … in a previous life that would have been a bottle of bourbon and night out stirring shit up …

But being all Zen-ny and shit now 😉 I Hi-Fived the fuck out of myself most of the day and made sure every little thing I did, made me smile … every little thing … and I documented that shit with a tonne of photos … why? So I can remember!!! xoxox

The day started with me getting ditched without any acknowledgement of the day before … sweet as cunt … you’ll keep – Self soothing shit tis what I’m about today … and breath …

I did the biggest pot of freshly ground coffee I could brew and let that stew on the stove most of the day … Theres nothing like freshly ground Coffee … hmmmm

I caught up with my Blogs for most of the morning … in the sun … I perused my photos from the day before … heres one:


And another:


Remembering that my aim was ‘distraction’ at the time, not quality LOL. *HiFuckin5Me;)

Lunch time was a non event – I’m not a great lover of lunch … instead I curled up on the deck chair outside and had a nap in the sun 🙂


Must of been out there for an hour or so … I enjoyed that 🙂

*HiFuckin5Me;)       – I slept – alone – in the open 🙂

When I woke up I decided to go to the Beach. I haven’t been down there since my sister died and we waved goodbye … So with stick in had and some music, I detoured to the Cafe first for this bad boy:


1 Macchiato 🙂

It was an extremely slow and leisurely stroll to the Beach … nice … no hurry and I enjoyed the sun 🙂 Found my posey, dug my toes in the sand and parked up with coffee and biscuit :




Had a few tears … good tears … a few smiles too and generally just soaked all that loveliness in …

This little guy made for abit of amusement 😉 He wanted my biscuit … which I did share .. and apparently it wasn’t up to his standard or taste LOL fussy bastard …


I took the long way home … nice and slow … and put my dinner on when I got back. Then proceeded to indulge in all my favourite movies, starting with this:

Source: Watch Rise of the Guardians Online Free Putlocker | Putlocker – Watch Movies Online Free

Followed closely by ‘Petes Dragon’ and then ‘DeadPool’ … lol slightly eclectic I know, but thats Me … and they all made me smile.

I was by myself for dinner, again, but figured that meant I got to pick all the best parts of the roast chicken and I wouldn’t have to share any of it 🙂 and thats what I did … and sat outside in the last of the days sunshine and soaked some more of that goodness up …


So, once again, heres to Me … *HiFuckin5Me;)

I enjoyed my day …

I realised a couple major things throughout this day: ‘Real’ life seems really quite trivial and mundane when you’ve been in a dark room being tortured for a good part of your existence … and when the cage gets opened up, you remain in there because its seems safer than all the ‘unknowns’. But ‘real’ life also passes you by because the ‘inside ache’ distracts from any and all beauty there might be to find.

Well today … I found beauty.

And loved it.

And I think I’m pretty fucking gangster … 🙂

So, *HiFuckin5Me;) again …


Love and Light xoxo


Reality Check … Me Styles

After shocks are about 5 minutes apart and are ranging from light to weak at the moment.

I had a reasonably decent sleep / sort of … thanks to the aid of a sedative or 2.

Yesterday was hellish in all its wonderment.

I checked my heart rate etc because it felt like I was in full-scale panic mode. But my heart rate was good and steady. So I had to take stock. Drastically.

Day before I semi replenished the survival kit and made sure our (or my) plan for leaving, if necessary, was down pact. No more 10 minute lingering around for the partner to get his shit together so we can leave … if there had’ve actually been a tsunami I wouldn’t be writing this now!

The initial earthquake was ferocious. I don’t think I’ve ever been in one like it in my lifetime. Everything literally rocked and rolled … there was no standing, walking or even sheltering from it for that matter. It felt like it folded everything in and around us.

One of my worst things. I hate them!

I thought it was just the vertigo, but nah; I dislike them for plenty of other reasons besides vertigo.

Unpredictability being on top of the list. And you know, they (the powers that be) seem to be able to predict all sorts of shit .. but apparently NOT earthquakes.

Then there’s the movement. That’s right, I’m NOT a roller coaster kinda Chickie … those things are hell on little tiny wheels. No thanks!

And so yesterday I decided to do a bit more research into the whole earth moving thing. It’s surprisingly not something I’ve researched – Why – because I hate the bastards and would rather just hope they don’t happen. Sure, I prepared; small survival kit and all … but that was for the zombie apocalypse, not earthquake slash tsunami.

Turns out (which I sorta kinda, loosely knew), 2 tectonic plates run right through the middle of New Zealand –


See that awesome red / orange line that is pretty much blotting out our entire country? Yeah well that’s where the two plates meet – The Pacific Plate and the Indo-Australian Plate.


And according to the old school fishermen round here, every full moon, as the earth is closer to the moon and the tides rise, we are more prone to earthquakes.


Enter – Supermoon.

Apparently these old school bastards knew we were in for a few jolts, because as nature does, it has a system. And so far, it has never failed.

Awesome-est – I wish some cunt had filled me in on this prior to the pretty full super fucking moon!!!

So, back onto GeoNet, I started trying to figure out how long this shit is going to last. Turns out it could be anywhere from a few days to at least 30 days … the latter is more likely.

They have 3 likely probabilities … to simplify … 1. aftershocks that slowly decrease then possibly stop. 2. a smaller earthquake than the first but enough to set off a tsunami, depending on where the earthquake is centred – possibly, and 3. a bigger earthquake than the first – yes that’s right “Possibly”.

How absolutely, positively, reassuringly, possibly – Awesome!.

Another words they don’t really fucken know.

So What Would Me Do?

I would plan the fuck out of all possible scenarios and then try to chill the fuck out … I don’t have enough sedatives for 30 days!

So today we (I really mean ME) are filling the water bottles, getting more candles, matches and butane for the portable cooker; we are packing more canned goods, gassing the fucking car up, packing the supplies in the car … we are moving all breakable / shakeable objects off’ve the shelves (and just as well I’m a fucking minimalist!) … and packing enough coffee and period shit for at least 2 months! They say 30 days; I’ll plan for 60+!

So lesson in all of this – all well and good planning for the zombie apocalypse and all well and good living off the fucking grid and all well and fucking good loving the ocean and all – BUT earthquake + ocean = tsunami … how about planning for that dumbass!

Never mind … thanks to pts(d) I am as anal as fuck and will have this shit sorted by the end of the day … hopefully all stays still till then LOL.

And I’ll continue breathing … because the other thing that has become very fucking apparent, is I have No control over mother nature, and she is paying no mind to Me, My Vertigo or My PTS fucking (D) and my lack of anti-anxiety medication or sedatives! Bitch. So I’m gonna have to handle it somehow or I’ll be a basket case by the end of the 30 days.

Peace Out.



365 reasons to smile ~ 270.

270. I don’t usually get pictures of this … the moon in the morning 🙂 This was about 7am … and our tides are usually high at this time too … its something I’m still learning; the whole moon – tide cycle. It’s pretty cool though … nature that is 🙂



changing times

When my partner used to go away, I’d freak out. Bail up with all the doors locked, not sleep and generally have a full-scale panic attack until he returned.


I still lock all the doors. BUT .. I clean the house; enjoy the clean 🙂 Watch re runs of The Walking Dead … cook for 1 🙂 Light the fire, toast marshmallows 🙂 Have an extra-large glass of milk and milo … a bubble bath … listen to my music … go for a nice long walk on the beach … enjoy the peace and quiet … do some extra blogging 🙂

Ahhh how the times have changed … and today I’m loving it 🙂