what i learnt from the white supremacist cunt.

not sure if i’ve ever talked about this bit or not: so buckle up & scroll on if need be. ps: thats my version of a trigger warning soz.


so the kiddie fucker that assaulted me as a child, was a self professed ‘white supremacist’. donning the skinhead label, he thought it was a good idea to have it inscribed in ink, on his mug. as idiotic as it sounds now, it also made for a scary as motherfucker to look at.

hindsight says: that was the point. a scared man trying to hide behind something he could relate to.

but it was his constant adolph hitler & nazi rants, that schooled my little self on what an actual racist cunt was. as my years have rolled by, i’ve heard the same rants come from some of the most unexpected places.

i learnt that the superiority of white skin and blue eyes was bred. that jews were filthy creatures that needed to be eradicated, like rats, from the earth. that hitler was the only person strong enough to have attempted and nearly achieved such a culling. i learnt that the jews that were left had infiltrated all sorts of important positions in government and were responsible for wars, killing, greed, banking fo-pars … i learnt that if hitler had achieved his goals then we would be living in a different world.

i learnt that the jews that were gassed by nazis were heard screaming and choking through the doors. that nazis laughed outside. i learnt that the clothes of those that were gassed, were infested with fleas therefore proving the filth of the jews.

i learnt that black skinned people were inferior & also needed eradication. that slavery was the beginning and should have been the ending, if hitler had been in charge. i learnt that all dark skinned people were unintelligent & a by product of some great sin committed on the earth. i learnt that my own skin was in this category & was not good for anything other than fucking and killing.

i learnt that an inverted pentagram was evil as was a goats head. that both of these could call demons who would come and tear my throat open if i was lucky, or stay around and torment the living shit out of me if i was unlucky. i learnt that anger was a tool. that violence was a pretty word for suffering.

i learnt that children were idiots. they were toys to be tortured. that small was unfortunate just because it was small. i learnt that if someone yelled loud enough then a child would cry and a bigger person felt important.


& then, i learnt that i was a jew.

& i learnt that i was a dark skinned person. a maori.

i learnt that i was a child. small. & that everyone around me was afraid of the cunt that was my uncle. so afraid were they, that they were ‘unable’ to confront him about anything. including his racist rants. his actions. his hatred.

instead it was appeased, fed & consoled.

you may have wondered why i go on about intersectionality & racism.

& this is why.

its pretty fucking hard to watch a world unfolding before me, at the moment, where all the things i was told as a child, are ideologies that are being celebrated.

xenophobia, racism, homophobia, misogyny – are not new things. but they are putrid & have no place in any society.

i learnt this shit more than 40 years ago. i had an up front, cold, cruel experience with one deranged self confessed white supremacist.

from that experience i also learnt however, that what i was told was utter bullshit. that any type of superiority is not worth the latrine its shat into. & more importantly i’ve learnt that ‘they’ are far too fucking tolerant of bigotry & way to quick to turn the other way cos it makes them feel uncomfortable.

wake the fuck up world, before history repeats itself. again.


kpm ©


ahhh okay … lets talk gender – trans and / or otherwise

I think I’ve written about this topic before, but possibly in amongst other ramblings and not a direct action as such … and I’m not really keen on ‘highlighting’ or repeating myself … this is more an exercise of ‘get that shit off’ve your chest now … clear your head … then respond …’

The topic being ‘transgender’ technically, but really, for Me, this has more to do with ‘difference’ and how those that ‘view’ the ‘others’, are doing that viewing and verbalising.

Why the post?

My NewsFeed at the moment is way over-populated with what I’d call ‘transgender – homosexual – difference’ abuse. And as I’m scrolling I’m thinking … ‘how the fuck did this happen … in my NewsFeed anyways’ … yes I know the ‘conversations’ (I use this term loosely) are happening … but it seems I am now in a position of having to decide on a position which I thought I had made pretty clear to anyone and everyone who asked re that positioning, and knew Me at all.

But apparently Not.

Now my bad, if I was not clear via posts and past in person conversations, so just to clarify, this is what I believe (Note: What “I” Believe … you are entitled to have differing beliefs)

  • Gender is a societal construct
  • Biology has Nothing to do with Gender

Wait … What?

Yes, I hear y’all saying …

“but gender and biology have everything to do with each other!”

Ahhh … Do they?.

You see, in my opinion, whether you put us in a dress or a clown outfit or a suit … we are still going to perform biologically, as we should, until we don’t. For biological ‘women’ that means our uterus starts to perform a monthly cycle of ovulation and period-ing; it means our breasts become equipped to fill up with milk so they can feed our off spring, if we become pregnant and give birth. Theres a whole lot more technical shit that goes on inside of us but I’m not good with technicals. You get my drift I’m sure. So how we dress, or how we act, or how we speak have absolutely no effect on how those biological happenings happen.

As a biological ‘woman’, who is now transitioning through menopause and will soon (hopefully!) cease to ovulate thusly the monthly ‘visits’ will also cease as my reproductive phase draws to an end … do I cease to be a gender identified Woman as so assigned to Me by the societal constraints? If I happen to grow a beard during that process, does this make Me a biological ‘man’? Or am I something in between?

I have personally been fighting the ‘gender constraints’ and ‘assignments’ ALL of my life, and this is the where the Feminism sort-of-kind-of fits in. Feminism has been / is my response to misogyny, and that isn’t just aimed at men! Not only has my response to being assaulted come from a biological womans perspective, it has come from a biological woman who has argued with every single cunt who has asked Me if I am a Miss, Mrs or Ms. You see, that is a gender assignment and has to do with keeping Me in the kitchen, my legs spread or a possible off limits lesbian. Crude examples I know, but you should be getting an idea of what I’m getting at.

Which brings Me to the ‘Trans’ debate.

For Me: There isn’t one.

As a biological woman who is transitioning through her natural phase of reproductivity, on to something else, I am not interested in assigning a ‘role’, or adding to what I believe is a growing prejudice that has spawned out of good old ignorance and fear, yet again.

So back to the point of this post …

I can scroll on over awkward opinions given about the ‘transitioning transgenders’, if they are opinions being shared in order to glean understanding about each other and another perspective.

I can not, and will not scroll on when it comes to blatant ‘gay – bashing’ (which by the way peoples, is So last century) and / or the degradation of a way of life and culture that you are not willing to understand and in all actuality, have not been asked to give an opinion on.

My position is:

I can’t and won’t agree with you opinions or your bigotry.

I won’t teach you. My experience is a biological womans experience. I am not a transitioning person per se, and am therefore not qualified to give a qualified opinion!

However … I won’t put up with your ignorance and bigotry and will remove You from Me and my world.


  • Please Note: My only discrepancy with medical transitioning is with children. I don’t believe any child should be medicated and ‘adjusted’ so they can ‘fit in’ with a ‘Norm’. How about We change those ‘Norms’ so they can be free to be themselves, and when the time comes and they are Not children anymore, and if they still chose too, are supported in medically transitioning and empowering themselves.


kpm ©


gender and the ‘trans’ view …

Not on purpose, but we’ve watched a couple of movies over the weekend that were about the ‘transgender movement’. One was ‘dressed as a girl’; the other was, ‘the Danish girl’. Interesting watching these with the partner, as he’s a bit of an old school homophobe, but I think that’s more to do with being ‘uncomfortable’ with the thought some guy may want his butt hole…lol…I have said to him…’dear, your hot, sure…but don’t flatter yourself’.

Now he’s had to sort of deal with some of his ideas recently…and I’ve been challenged myself. That’s because my youngest daughter and our moko share a house with a friend of hers from school…who is, by the ‘traditional’ understanding of the word, transgender…well ‘our’ description of transgender anyway. Whats interesting about hanging out with her, is that she has no confusion about who she is. When the mokos asked her whether she was a girl or a boy…she replied…’I’m human’. I like that…and the mokos liked that too…they completely understood that explanation. The partner had a little more trouble…but I think the mokos will probably teach him :).

Now that whole conversation says something for the ‘new’ climate that our kids are being raised in…if we let them. My girl is a breath of fresh air when it comes to embracing all that someone is…she has absolutely no issue with who someone is, gender wise. And I think I’d be pretty much be the same. As far as I’m concerned, its none of my god damn business what or who someone wants to be; or who they sleep with for that matter. Unless they’re assholes of course; then they can go fuck themselves…no matter who they are! And on that note…when my girl has issues with her transgender flat mate…she becomes a ‘he’…and when they are on good terms, she remains a ‘she’…funny. Such flexibility lol.

But anyway, I’m no expert on the subject, as in, I have never walked half a mile in these shoes, so can not talk about a first hand experience with the subject matter. I’m also no expert on gay ‘issues’ or the hermaphrodite ‘condition’. However, I do know I don’t like any of these terms…just saying. But that has more to do with my aversion to labelling things and people and having categories which we can neatly place ‘types’ into.

What I do know though, is my own mind.

I can understand not being able to be who I am; being stuck; being suppressed and held down. I understand wanting to be free to be what I am and not having the tools or the understanding to be able to accomplish that. I understand struggling with perceptions and mis-perceptions that would have me be something other than all that I am. I understand having my gender and sexuality attacked because it is perceived to either be a commodity or something ‘less’ than the rest. I do understand what it is to be physically trapped in a being that is the opposite to what I feel I am.

And for these reasons, the dudes in the Danish girl movie…have made it onto my very short list of peeps that I admire ;). Trail blazers, both of them. For the wife, who ‘lost’ her husband as he transitioned…and who ultimately lost her best friend because he wanted to become all that he/she was supposed to be. I found that enormously sad. But the husband; the artist; who chose to follow his heart, his insides and ended up losing his/her life…but was entirely at peace in the knowledge and physicality of being ‘whole’…that takes some extra ordinary courage…big balls, so to speak ;)

I really hope there comes a day, when we will all see the shades of every color, as a whole piece of art. You can’t have one without the other…that’s what makes it beautiful.

Well, that’s what I taught my babies…and I hope they teach their babies the same thing.

kpm ©