Think I said the other day I was off to spend the day with my Mama … going for a little road trip … and Yes of course I was nervous.
Always fucking nervous … thats Me.
Yes, I sedated. Yes, I shook and walked around in circles for at least an hour. Yes, I wondered if I should pull the plug.
But No … I did Not.
Decided to do selfies this time ;)
Lucky Chucks applied … Favourite Jacket donned … and comfy Undies on lol … Note: don’t go anywhere in uncomfortable grutts if your an anxiety ridden fucker … it makes matters 100% worse!
I had 1 thing I wanted to do in town, to do with my photographs for the exhibition.
Whilst thats a simple matter for others, its a mind-bending-fucker for Me.
But lucky Chucks applied … and my Mama to help Me … we got there. I made sure I had all my bits and pieces as per usual (orange, water, ice pack, knife, meds, earphones, ear plugs, sunglasses …) and made sure I wore my sunglasses inside and the ear plugs too.
What I was trying to achieve this time round too, was getting used to the noises, smells and sights, gradually. So when we got in the shop and I could feel the ‘heavy’ of all the bright lights and all the plastic smells, the people smells and a few other foul mixtures in there … I sniffed my orange and waited (theres that word again arrghhh) for my senses to adjust … instead of taking off immediately. They did adjust to some; others, not so much.
But I talked to the lady behind the counter and asked the questions I wanted … and Mama helped and filled in when I forgot or couldnt get my head round it all … It was cool!! The tagteam effort I mean! It took a little while, but we got it done.
Heres the proof lol.
I managed to hang around while Mama got the things she needed too :)
When we were done we headed off again.
We stopped for a coffee … *pause for a big grin lol* … I love coffee!
The place we stopped was noisy as fuck so I left my ear plugs in. The smell of the diesel and petrol from the traffic was slightly overwhelming but I managed. Again … I tried to wait and let my senses adjust.
We finally got to the beach (its the beach about an hour away from ours … same coastline but further south).
Slight digression: We managed the new motorway bullshit … suffice to say, I didnt like it … at all … (neither did Mama ;) ) but I managed it … But, WTF NZ? What are we doing motorways like that for? … in NZ? I mean really, we’re as small as fuck as a country and we’ve just run a huge ass motorway through the middle of what was some pristine looking countryside …
Anywho, back to the beach … it was my kind of weather … dark, cold, rainy and calming as fuck on the senses!!!
Here she is in all the B&W glory that I love:
And one in colour :)
Mama said she was proud of Me. And I was fucking proud of Me!
I want to start doing this more … just a little bit at a time.
Post-day out, my sinuses are overloaded, my head aches and my body is aching. It was worth it! But it’s also made Me aware that the more I do, the more it’ll effect my body … gives Me something else to work on and towards though.
So heres to Me and all my gangstah-ness LOL!
Love and light peeps … love and light xo