speaking of bs ..

why cant they just say what they mean.


meh ..

tryna catch up but not having much success ..

battling with the new wp layout .. fuck me ..

& the new apple update bullshit which has changed all ma goddam spelling settings ..

i know, not exactly pivotal to world peace .. but hey ..


qt .8

imperfection is perfection.

kpm ©



ps: the ACC cunts declined my request.


so its back to the drawing board.

to reassess shit.

fuck them.

kpm ©


do people cause anxiety?


bullshitting people induce anxiety because they feel unsafe.

you’re welcome.

kpm ©


clearing :

current status:

*trying to clear the bullshit.

you know the kind -the septic, other peoples,  not necessary, ‘unclean’, not mine, bullshit.*

kpm ©


does it …

does it actually matter what am i, or am not, excellent at?

i mean … really?

who cares?

kpm ©



floating in a sea of seemingly disingenuous shit.

is anything.

is anyone.

actually fucking real anymore.

kpm ©



not just with your fucking vocal chords.

but with your actions:


there’s a novel fucking thought!


kpm ©


* ” * ” *





















religion conversation.

questionnaire twat asks:

  • what do you consider as your religion?

me: i don’t have one

  • why not

me: i don’t like ‘religion’ per se

  • why not

me: they have no relevance in my world

  • religion has relevance in every world

me: not in mine

  • well for the purposes of this questionnaire, i need you to pick a religion you most align too

me: i think thats bullshit. you need to add a tab to the questionnaire which says ‘no religious belief’

  • well thats not going to happen today, so

me: so, i’ll answer you, but you need to note in the ‘other’ section that i don’t have a religion per se

  • alright then *in a terse tight-ass tone*

me: so you can log me in as a taoist slash anarchist

  • pardon

me: yep, you heard right. log it in.

kpm ©



yes, i’m avoiding all the xmas posts

& shit.

but y’all do you boo’s!

*waving the middle finger salute from the corner of the room*





argh, christmas …

i’m more in tune with the grinch than that fat white dude that apparently comes down the chimney to eat your cookies & leave gifts … okay, so if that’s not creepy then i’m not sure what is right!!!

anyway, FB, town, friends houses … are all getting lit with the ‘christmas spirit’ apparently, cos its fucking christmas & this is the time to be all festive & expensive & good vibey & shit …

but i aint doing it this year … @ all.

i announced to the girls i’m not ‘doing christmas’ this year, as set out on the gregorian bullshit calendar. it’s not christs birthday, so what are we celebrating?

this year it’s officially become a celebration of ‘december day’: a day when the mokos papa gets a day off’ve the working bullshit. *insert eyeball roll* it’s some fucked up shit all right.

i’ll leave the rest of my christmas sentiments, right here:

its not my meme. but i like it. wish i had’a thought of it.

oh well …

kpm ©



wife bullshit

had a recent interesting reminisce with FB compadres re my past life of church-going wifey-ness.

i was never really that good at either to be honest.

thank fuck.


both are bullshit.

and thats where i’ll leave it.

ps: not my meme.

kpm ©


hormones, NYs and panic fuck addendum:

The down side to living in ‘paradise’, is every cunt comes here for the holidays.

2013 population stats for here were around 600 but I think thats closer to 1,00 now. It’s a small place, and apart from the usual summer bustle, it’s pretty quiet. That’s how I like it.

Then over night our population nearly trebles – over the Christmas / Summer /New Years period.

Dear goddess I’m trying to breathe …

And this is my quick rant before the sedative I’ve dropped completely kicks in and I’m speaking in tongues instead of small witty sentences.

So, I’m somewhere in between a panic attack and / or a hot fucking flush … I can see stars and not of the pretty variety … I’m trying to slow my breathing down … I have on headphones and Nasty Nas is playing … I’m sweating like a rapist … I’ve got big girl tears … I feel like breaking someones face … but feel to fatigued for that … I’ve got an Ice Pack on my head … sipping water and sniffing an orange (for the over sensitive snout) and my insides feel like they’re shaking.

I’m not hungry … covered that base.

Not dehydrated … covering that base.

I got my period early: Yah … Not … but on the bonus, I guess that means the time frame between each of the cycles is shortening .. Yuss.

So trying fucking hard to remain fucking positive and can’t quite get comfortable.

It sucks ass.

Top that off with a final chop with the father and putting all that out there and an overwhelming amount of ‘Silence’ from family … but that was to be expected …

And then theres the “Celebrating the end of 2017” mind sucking posts that are cluttering up my newsfeeds and I think I may just drop another sedative and wake up when it’s all over.

The kids next door are as loud as fuck … their house is on piles so every jump or bump echoes and vibrates Our house … and the spidey senses are freaking out.

Fuck this post is all over the place … oh well … Better out than in as Nan always said ;)

Every cunts trying to go fishing which means tractors and boats are rumbling past the house, and yes, this bitch is vibrating like a jack hammer.

Back to the ‘family friendly’ posts … fuck I’m over those … told my kids I love them … they know that anyway and that I’m in hermit mode … they don’t care lol … ‘Mums doing Mum’.

My ‘partner’ is off doing his own thing … I got asked if I want anything. Pfft.

So, if I wake up before the end of the year and I’m still alone, I’ll try and smile and make Me some of my spaghetti and finish my Limoncello. Not sure what I wanted to do for the end of year ‘celebrations’, but I didn’t have this shit in mind.

Anywho: All power to Yous … For my anxiety ridden compadres … I’m feeling Yah! xoxo

Heres to waving goodbye to the ass end of 2017!

kpm ©



interrupting the routine commentary for a nz update:

$6.20 for 500g of butter!

Wtf New Zealand!

Land of milk and honey my ass!

#photograph: 500g block of butter

kpm ©




i’m not a






I’ve been avoiding lots. I know … my average ‘written’ post doesn’t really allude to this fact. My ‘average’ is slightly darker and deeper than most … but it in all truth, it’s surface crap.

I’ve enjoyed wading around in the shallow water of avoidance. I think we all need to take a dip in there sometimes. Helps to ease the tension.

But that isn’t really my area of expertise.

My bullshit-o-meter has always been set to ultra sensitive. And whilst it’s been jumping all over the place lately, I was assuming it was because of the issues with my father etc.

I forgot about Me.

It’s always about Me.

You see, when I avoid shit, I run into trouble. The issues with my father, are to some degree, of my own making. I told myself I was being patient with him … understanding … working through things. And all the while, my bullshit-o-meter was pinging off the charts.

I listened to those around Me that said ‘he’s old’, ‘he’s set in his ways’, ‘he’s grieving’, ‘he’s your father’ … because while they were right to some degree, they couldn’t see what I could see. Which was a big old neon signing screaming “Bullshit … come get your dose of Bullshit”.

I thought some how, that I could lure him out of his own bullshit but instead I muddied up my own waters.

So here I am, wondering if I should reset my meterage or take actual notice of it.

It’s still pinging.

It notes that I have invested too much time in a man who Lies as ‘go too’ response. It also notes that it is set to ‘high’ because there has been a need for it, and although I had come to terms with a certain amount of past bullshit, I shouldn’t set the volume on low just yet. It also notes, that bullshit is bullshit no matter whose mouth its dribbling out of.

With that noted, here’s my point.

I lost touch with my ‘bullshit’ receptors. And whilst getting all touchy and feely about things is cool, and necessary to a certain degree – my receptors are set the way they for a dam good reason.

To protect Me.

As I reconcile, I am able to deal with things differently. There is no need to hide under the covers anymore; or freeze and play dead. No, I am quite able to respond in another form – violently or non violently.

But to remove the alarm bells is stupid.

Lesson learnt.

kpm ©





sometimes i wonder

wonder why

when all is

said and done.

that the said

isn’t ever


its just


like thats


that really


kpm ©








i’m riding bullshit


kpm ©