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interrupting the routine commentary for an nz update:

$6.20 for 500g of butter!

Wtf New Zealand!

Land of milk and honey my ass!

#photograph: 500g block of butter

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trans …

so if i’m menopausal,

doesn’t that technically make me

Transitional?

and wouldn’t that,

at last, mean –

that i would become

gender non-specific?

both societal and biological?

Yuss …

finally!

hallelu-Jah 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +323.

+323. 🙂 LOL

#meme

On a backdrop of pink, red and white wild flowers, the following is written:

“Am I perfect? No.

But am I striving to be a better person every day? Also no.”

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366 reasons to smile ~ +319.

+319. Yup . . some of us learn the hard way … but at least we learn 😉

#meme

“I’m done. I’m sick of his shit”

Narrator: She was, in fact, not done and went on to tolerate his shit a further 7900000 times.

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correct

no.

i’m not a

talker.

shit a brick

you know,

for someone who

empties their

bowels

everyday;

I’m still

pretty much,

full of

shit.

* ” * ” *

not

sure

when

child

rape

got

politicised.

apparently

it’s

in

the

‘priority’

basket,

right

next

to

‘world

peace’.

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mauri of me #37 ~ bullshit-o-meter

I’ve been plodding around my ‘mauri of me’ segment, (much like the rest of my life at the moment) pretty much detailing the stuff that is ‘Me’, is my essence; but is also pretty meh. If you get my drift. Yes, its all helped Me to remember and understand who I Am; but not really getting to the nitty gritty – the deep and dark stuff. Well that shit, in my world, is called avoidance and minimization.

I was unceremoniously reminded of that tonight whilst reading a friends blog. And it kind of slapped Me in the face, and it still smarts lol.

I’ve been avoiding lots. I know … my average ‘written’ post doesn’t really allude to this fact. My ‘average’ is slightly darker and deeper than most … but it in all truth, it’s surface crap.

I’ve enjoyed wading around in the shallow water of avoidance. I think we all need to take a dip in there sometimes. Helps to ease the tension.

But that isn’t really my area of expertise.

My bullshit-o-meter has always been set to ultra sensitive. And whilst it’s been jumping all over the place lately, I was assuming it was because of the issues with my father etc.

I forgot about Me.

It’s always about Me.

You see, when I avoid shit, I run into trouble. The issues with my father, are to some degree, of my own making. I told myself I was being patient with him … understanding … working through things. And all the while, my bullshit-o-meter was pinging off the charts.

I listened to those around Me that said ‘he’s old’, ‘he’s set in his ways’, ‘he’s grieving’, ‘he’s your father’ … because while they were right to some degree, they couldn’t see what I could see. Which was a big old neon signing screaming “Bullshit … come get your dose of Bullshit”.

I thought some how, that I could lure him out of his own bullshit but instead I muddied up my own waters.

So here I am, wondering if I should reset my meterage or take actual notice of it.

It’s still pinging.

It notes that I have invested too much time in a man who Lies as ‘go too’ response. It also notes that it is set to ‘high’ because there has been a need for it, and although I had come to terms with a certain amount of past bullshit, I shouldn’t set the volume on low just yet. It also notes, that bullshit is bullshit no matter whose mouth its dribbling out of.

With that noted, here’s my point.

I lost touch with my ‘bullshit’ receptors. And whilst getting all touchy and feely about things is cool, and necessary to a certain degree – my receptors are set the way they for a dam good reason.

To protect Me.

As I reconcile, I am able to deal with things differently. There is no need to hide under the covers anymore; or freeze and play dead. No, I am quite able to respond in another form – violently or non violently.

But to remove the alarm bells is stupid.

Lesson learnt.

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366 reasons to smile ~ +257.

+257. She says as she de-friends her father off’ve Facebook 😉

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in-same in-sane

sane is a 9 to 5

a house in the burbs

.2 kiddies

marriage.

apparently.

sane is also

waiting politely

in a que, that has no end

its filling in paperwork

when your

heart is giving way

its choosing the chocolate

sprinkles

because everyone else

does.

so sane,

is same?

?

that

seems a tad

in-sane.

***

First Published on: Jun 5, 2016 @ 22:58 😉