artivism ~ resistance, response

art has a way of


what can’t be.

like a child’s


art can describe

what may otherwise be,


to explain;


to understand;

to uncomfortable,

for the polite;

to raw for breakfast



but art can capture

the emotion of a scene,

when nothing

else can.

*These are macro shots of a series of 3 paintings I created, that were part of the “TOO MUCH TRUTH – Women’s Global Resistance to Sexploitation” Exhibition.

The Exhibition finishes this Sunday. I’ll post full shots of these pieces, and their descriptions then.*






activism ~ I’m down for the castration of child sex offenders

I’ve come across some disturbing ‘opinions’ over my years of dealing with sexual assault bullshit, but one of the newest theories to stumble across my Facebook feed, is that of pedo-sexuality : loosely termed as the sexual activity between an adult and a child.

There are plenty of references and links to this bewildering term but I’m not going to  put any of those links in this post. A. because I don’t agree with them, B. because I don’t want to give any of them any more traffic than they already have and C. because this is my fucking blog and I detest child sex offenders, no matter what you call them. If you want more information, just google pedo-sexuality.

Now, from what I can gather about the fuckery of this pedo-sexuality ‘concept’, is that people that enjoy sexually assaulting children, are trying to find themselves a more relevant and politically correct platform from which to spew their notions.

What this in essence does, is makes light of the act itself and of the rights of a child.

Now I get that a peadophile is someone who is sexually attracted to children, and while I also find this revolting, I can appreciate that your average kindergarten stalking pedo may not ever ‘act’ on their ‘attractions’.

But to get all touchy feely over the semantics of the labels regarding whether these pedos have actually enacted their proclivities and can be deemed pedo-sexuals, as a definition, is bedside the fucking point.

Do ‘they’ touch children? Yes.

Do ‘they’ repeatedly touch children in a sexual way? Yes.

That then, in my learned and un-learned opinion, is called sexual fucking assault, and no amount of zhooshing up the label, or debating the semantics of their poor little sensitivities, are going to change the fact that they enjoy taking away the rights and innocence of a child. Not just lean towards some sort of deranged attraction, but actively take away the rights of those who are vulnerable.

And in my world, there is only a couple of courses of action and response for these types. Death is preferable. But since most countries won’t kill a pedo, castration and imprisonment is the next best thing. Whether that be physical or chemical castration, I don’t care.

I used to believe in the rehabilitation of sex offenders. I actually wrote a program to deal with young offenders. But since then, I’ve changed my mind.

I agree, that if they are apprehended early enough, there may be something salvageable within their psyche. But are we really willing to ‘hope for the best’ when it comes to definitive results of rehabilitation?

I’m not. Not anymore anyway.






open letter: dear kiddy fucker, heres part three ~ from, Me

I should

feel sorry for you

but nahhhh

I should

feel sorry for your

pathetic frame,

Your lack of skill

and knowledge
which you try to make up for

by dominating

the vulnerable

what a wretched creature

you are


the professionals,

have given you a

super scary persona

to embody

little do they know,

what i know

that you are less than pathetic


you don’t hold

monster status

grooming a small child

isn’t a skill

not one you could put

on a CV anyways

and to try to bend them

to your will;

parents have been doing that shit for years

but for very,

very different reasons

yours are selfish and


But now the cats out of the bag

Now we know

You couldn’t really engage in any meaningful relationship
with someone of your own size

…pardon the penis pun…

but as a matter of enquiry…

did you get rejected

from the army perhaps

the police force?

were you wanked on as a small child

humiliated maybe?

that you feel the need to dominate something so much smaller



than you feel

you know corpses are easier ay?

Not such a flash name for

those fuckers though.

But because you do not have the balls

….lol pardon the pun again…

for real intimacy

You will eventually die alone


but thats about it


you may have your kiddy porn

to place under your

dead head

and some fucked up memories

to ponder on

but you will be alone


knowing somewhere in your


that all your unfortunate victims

will be living full





ragingly successful


specially after they figure out

how to

exorcise the demons

you inflicted on them.

For now,



And  take your time


ponder on these


of wisdom…

Remember how you felt when you when raped up the ass
By the bigger person, back in the day
Remember what it felt like to be little and afraid
And as you cleaned up the blood and semen from your asshole

Remember you were alone then and your alone now
because you chose, to inflict pain on others
Instead of healing yourself
You are a damned wretched

With a teeny tiny pecker
That you couldn’t get up

i ~ beat ~ you ~ fucker

and as i stroll


your grey


steel caps

on foots


in hand

i whistle a

merry little



once you were


like your


in my


but now

like that


your small


and dried


and as you


the pound

of my crowbar

and the


of my


in your










do you enjoy that?

they asked …

do you enjoy taking the piss out of pedophiles?

You mean kiddy fuckers?

Yes, but thats a little crass…

Hell to the fucking Yeah i like taking the piss out of the kiddy fuckers!

Aren’t you worried about repercussions?

What? For me, or them??

For You?

Really? What they gonna do that they haven’t done already??

Are YOU worried about the repercussions??


Why thank you,

leave your monetary donation in that little box out front

and I’ll ponder on your concern

as I eat my Brownie

you funded

….for your concern

….of me

I just think your pushing it

Pushing it?

oh you mean like he did to me?

into that little hole??


U need to shut yah mouth

thanks for the concern

you pray for my soul

and I’ll pray for yours



open letter: dearest kiddy fuckers … Part 2 ~ from, Me

hey there

kiddy fuckers,

guess wot?

I can see you too.



I see a teeny tiny man
in stature, in esteem
Not so far different from the prey

you preying on


and a teeny weeny weaner
surely that wouldn’t perform well?

if at all?

ooohhh, dear

Hence the children,

the vulnerable you prey on i guess
Cos that little teeny weeny penis wouldn’t fit anywhere else!

oh, but you appear bigger, to the smaller anyways



a moment

a moment of silence

for the teeny














hi five the pedophile with the tiny appendage

~ join a support group fucktards

dear rest of humanity

~ watch our babies, all the time

~protect children, always

~don’t take a break from that

~these fucktards don’t


the preference is…

they would prefer

that my response is more


than literal


than literal

but literal

is what you are

pathetic is what you


for you to die


would be



the preference

is for


to die


the same

amount of


as you have


thats the


Me; responding

I always knew I’d respond, but was not sure what that would look like. And trying to recover from all the shit that comes with the heaviness of all that shit in the first place, has been somewhat of a full time fucking job.

It’s taken along long time to sift through what is mine, whats others, what are misperceptions, what are guilt shit trips, what are passive aggressive silencing techniques …. the ptsd shit list goes on.

But after sifting and re sifting for a rather long time … i see a little light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.

Sexual assault of any description, dumped on anybody, is fucked…to say the least. It would be nice, pleasantly twinkly, to have a world where that type of assault; that type of action, was never even in any type of vocabulary. But thats not the case.

Now, I’m pretty sure I get the technicalities for the ‘why’ it happens, and the ‘who’ it happens too, by the ‘what type’ of person does a fucked up thing like that … and my over intelligent answer is … why – because; who – anyone; what type – anyone.

There are no definates…there are no absolutes … there are summations and theories and best guesses…and these are stupid, but should be employed for a long range look at the subject. But there is NO definite quantifiable causes and effects. There are things that may minimise the chance of it occurring, but overall, it is some shit ass luck really.

And that might sound a bit blazay … but this is my topic, and I’m beginning to really understand that there is no-one else that knows this shit like me…because it is mine … it is my story. I can add to it with other peoples perspectives and learnings, as they can do with my stuff … but I am the expert on my shit, no-one else.

So with that knowledge, slowly seeping in and out of my pores, I am finding myself at a bit of a turning point.

How to respond.

I feel like, up until now anyway, that I have always been on the back foot…struggling with shame, then stubbornness, then determination, then anger, then nightmares, then anxiety, then more shame, then blame …. and so it goes on and on and on.

In amongst all that there are the external voices of well meaning but ignorant assholes who think its something that should be forgotten, forgiven, not dwelled on, left in the past, let go of … which, it turns out, is more to do with their discomfort than it has to do with mine.

And then add to that whole cocktail the additives of PTSD, personality disorder, OCD, OTT syndrome (made that one up – over the top syndrome lol), addiction …. blah blah blah …. and there is a small lifetime of crap to sort through. As we all get caught up in the ‘whats wrong with me’ cry … and the ‘please fix me’ cry … which are all relevant … we are all diverted away from the crux of the actual fucking issue!

You see, when my daughter was sexually assaulted, I didn’t have a full deck to play with really … as in, I had my own issues with the whole subject, I had issues with mothering … but when this happened to my baby girl … two very distinct things happened for me, and to my thought process.

  1. What and how do I help my baby girl NOW
  2. I’ll kill the cunt that did this to her

I didn’t know, without a shadow of a doubt, what exactly to do in response to number 1. But I knew she needed time … lots of time…to talk … cry … come to her own realisations … she needed to know that it was by no means her fault and she didn’t cause it in anyway shape or form … i knew i needed to undo, if i could, the thinking that had been embedded into her so that this act could happen … i knew she needed love … lots and lots of love … to respond as she needed too … without being wrong or right … just to be.

Number 2 was easy … I just had to figure the logistics of it.

Never, not once, did I think that she may have caused this … because of the length of her skirt … by her little giggle that she does … because she is caring and compassionate and likes to listen … because she is beautiful and intelligent … none of that was the point …

The point, which I knew unreservedly, was the cunt that had assaulted her had done so because he could … he had the opportunity and the perverted and distorted thinking to act on that opportunity. This wouldn’t have been his first time and it wouldn’t be his last.

But, with what I knew … I knew I wanted to protect, heal, hold, love … her. That was my mummy reaction to the beautiful baby girl that I gave birth too … I wanted to take away all the bad.

As a society however … we like to think we would do that in response to learning that someone … a child, or an adult … has been sexually assaulted. But we don’t. We become uncomfortable … start asking how and why could that happen .. was it dark, were they alone, was no-one watching, I bet they were all drunk, was it a stranger … and those are questions from the inquisitive. More often than not, there is an uncomfortable silence. Followed by more silence.

For an adult surviving sexual assault as an infant, there is not much compassion or understanding, just blame and shame. Theres a lot of ‘moving on’ talk and awkward silence followed by more ‘letting go’ and forgiveness talk.

But what we really are all forgetting, is that sexual assault of an infant/child, is an epidemic … of greater proportion than global fucking warming or sex trafficking or drugs …. stats back in the day were 1 in 4 girls by the age of 7 … those are now, i believe, 1 in 2 and do not account for under or not reporting. It used to be 1 in 7 boys by 7, and those have increased to about 1 in 3 or 4, again not accounting for under or not reporting. The average pedo in a 40-50 year life span has a conservative number of between 60-200 victims. It doesn’t take a math-me-fucking-tician to figure out those are some fucking disgusting numbers.

Knowing what we know about the effects of sexual assault on an infant/child and the issues that they have growing up … you would think there would be more of an outcry to eradicate sexual violence, in particular sexual violence and assault against an infant/child.

And if compassion doesn’t work, then look at the monetary cost that this shit has on the whole of society … medicating, locking up, counselling, insurances, institutionalising …. a good business model would see that we are not getting the best value for our dollar here …

Wake the fuck up world … if you fuck kids over … if you stand by and watch … if you don’t intervene … they will eventually grow up and bite the fuck back!

My point to my response though … is that in amongst this whole entanglement of shit, we forget that the person that should be taking responsibility .. the person to point the finger at … the person to shame … to despise and humiliate … is the perp-per-fucking-trator! Plain and simple.

We need to refocus and stop blaming the kid that got fucked over .. blame the fucktard that did it!! And then do something about it instead of burying our heads in the fucking sand dunes!

And this is the beginning of my response …

one more for the road…

yes,  i  enjoy  taking  the  piss  out  of  you


yes,  i  do

yes,  i enjoy  making  fun  of  your  malfunctioning

penile  unpleasantries


yes,  i  do


you  would  remember,  not

that  i  was  once  your  victim

that  you  tortured

in  all  faces

and  facets










instead,   i   take  the  piss  outta  you

and  theres  nothing  you  can  do


howzit  feel



wormies and maggots

when your dead

they’ll not eat you

for fear

of infestation

of your filthy disease


i told you

one day

you’d be dead

and noone