to christian.

pretty hard to be a ‘christian child’ in a world that isn’t yours & is hell bent on making you its bitch.


kpm©


 

negotiate-ting.

shoulders way tighter than i realised.

in the morning. they tighten with any noise.

they’re deducing the tone and the mood.

& then my stomach starts turning from there.

but, still and quiet doesn’t feel safe either.

in that, im negotiating myself out of that space.

that silence, that may cost me my life today.

that day.


kpm ©


 

note.

when a mothers love for their child,

is used as a weapon against them.

you better hope you not doing the wielding.


kpm ©


 

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photography .203

#bnw #portraiture #photography #kpm©


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

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“Too Much Truth” Exhibition: Finale and Shout Out

The Exhibition “Too Much Truth” Women’s Global Resistance to Sexploitation, in Wellington, is coming to a close.

I would like to Thank, the organiser and curator of this most righteous Exhibition – “Renee”of  “Writing By Renee”. What a brave and fierce woman, who I am truly honoured to have connected with.

I would also like to Thank “Thistle Hall Gallery” in Wellington, for supporting Renee’s venture and for supporting the contributors of this Exhibition.

From the bottom of my slightly blackened soul, I am humbled to have been part of such a beautiful and fiercely staunch conglomerate of feminists, activists and artists; all representing their Truths.

As promised, the following photos are the scoped out versions of the macros presented previously. The Descriptions below my “Response ~ Resistance” pieces, include the writing on each piece, and the context / explanation of each piece.

They are all painted from a Childs perspective and are a dual perspective / response of a Child / Adult Survivor of Infant / Child Sexual Assault.

“they said i should have got up and walked out ~ instead of holding him accountable”

I can not recount how many times throughout my lifetime, I have had ‘bad advice’ levelled at Me. When superimposed in this context, its ignorance becomes crystal clear.

“from her ~ he let me pick the colour felt pen he would use ~ to split my tiny cunt open”

Often times, therapists / counsellors / psychologists, have asked Me to ‘describe’ the ‘act’ or acts in the hopes that there will be something for Me to ‘reconcile’ or work through. What they seem to forget is the ‘devil’ is indeed, in the detail.

“he said i could put sugar on it so it would taste better ~ and to make me an accomplice to his sickness”

‘Professionals’ and family alike, forget that a child doesn’t have the vocabulary to recount the emotion of a crime enacted against them, but they can recount the ‘simple’ things. And it is in those very simple descriptions, that the filth of such a crime and sickness lies.


To find other contributors works, please follow this Link, as permission hasn’t been sought to display their works.

A Final Salute and Congratulations to the Organiser – Curator, Gallery, Contributors, Artists and Activists.


kpm ©


 

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“resistance & response” [2017]

art has a way of

expressing.

what can’t be.

like a child’s.

description.

art can describe

what may otherwise be;

unmanageable.

to explain;

unfathomable,

to understand;

too uncomfortable,

for the polite;

to raw for breakfast.

table.

talk.

but art can capture

the emotion of a scene,

when nothing

else can.

*These are macro shots of a series of 3 paintings I created, that were part of the “TOO MUCH TRUTH – Women’s Global Resistance to Sexploitation” Exhibition.

The Exhibition finishes this Sunday. I’ll post full shots of these pieces, and their descriptions then.*


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

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my response on how we are reporting about sexual assault in the media

Via Facebook & edit:

Acknowledging a little girls survival <3 I should have done that first, apologies. Children survive in so many ways, they shouldn’t have too, but they do. To her brilliance and strength xxoo

Ok, this is going to be a long response to this article about a child who was raped by a man.

I absolutely abhor this shit. It is my archillies heel, so to speak. And I know enough about it to have both an impassioned viewed and an educated view.

Heres my beef on how the article is written:

1.”A Northland man high on methamphetamine raped a 3-year-old girl.” –
What, as opposed to a man whose not high on meth?
The proclivity to rape a child is already present. Meth is not the reason; meth is not the excuse. Our ‘systems’ need to stop using it as a reason and an excuse.
2. “His offending only came to light after a doctor confirmed the young child had contracted a sexually transmitted disease.”
What, because no-one noticed that a 3-year-old had been raped otherwise? It would have been/should have been quite noticeable! You don’t get to penetrate a small child and not have some type of outward damage. So this child was checked for damage and STIs? That in itself is traumatic.
3. “The man was invited to stay in the girl’s home but repaid the family’s kindness by raping the girl, Judge Duncan Harvey said.”
Little lesson I live by – Vet the people you invite into your home, especially if you have children. Thats not to say that the family was ignorant; but rule of thumb; I’d rather be unkind than have to kill you for hurting my child.
4. “He was sentenced to nine years and nine months’ jail and given a minimum non-parole period of five years.”
This pathetic. But this is The Crowns fault. Legislation is what it is. A judge can’t make a random decision to lock someone up for a trillion years just because what they did was horrible. Legislation needs to change for sentencing to change. I believe in capital punishment for these types of fuckers; but we don’t do that in New Zealand anymore. For that to change, legislation must change.
5. “In a pre-sentence report the man said he had been “amped up on meth and couldn’t remember anything” when he raped the girl.”
Thats is a typical pedophile excuse. Its not an excuse we should even be listening to anymore, let alone putting in any official report.
6. “Given her age there was nothing she could have possibly done to resist you. You raped this little girl when you knew you had an STD and you just didn’t care,” Judge Harvey said.”
But raping without an STI is ok? Really, what are we saying here?

How we report and how we notify and how we sentence says more about us, as in our Country’s, inability to operate effectively in regards to this type of crime. We like to excuse, be it ever so slightly, a perpetrators actions. Whether that is in our wording, or the sentencing….and we disregard a victim. Whether its because we can’t wrap our heads around the perpetrators sickness or it makes us feel uncomfortable. It is really beside the point. His actions are his. He has the sickness. The child was the recipient of his sickness.

How in the world did we come to believe that this type of behaviour is alright? We can all do a little haka about it, and say we don’t think its OK … but we all allow it in one way or another. Whether that be by not speaking out about old school offenders and offences … people that appear inappropriate but no-one wants to say anything… family members that do this shit on a regular basis, but again, no-one wants to say anything. We all allow it to happen.

Aside from legislation changing, our view on the right a child has to safety, also has to change. Dramatically.
Our view on what we do with perpetrators also needs to change. Dramatically.

This little darling is going to need a shitload of love and support and medical care…as is her family.

His sickness was already there … and this little darling was an opportunity.

Lesson for all: Lessen the opportunities these fuckers have.


kpm ©


 

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for her, them, me. [2016]

All my life, well 41 years of it anyway, I’ve had to defend myself. Unfortunately, the form of defense that I have employed has usually, also been to my detriment. In that, I have hidden, run, anesthetized, gone silent…held my breath…to maintain my survival.

And this is the aftermath and ongoing cruelty of infant or child sexual assault, for its victim. It’s no longer some pervert cunt whose trying to get into your tiny panties…its the continuous hiding from the possibility of impending assault. It’s Us; still trying to defend ourselves from those prying fingers.

But those fingers don’t exist in the here and now anymore. Just in the senses…in the dreams…in the reminders…in the head…in the heart…and they are more than enough to terrify an avid horror film buff.

And as I wake this morning, to the realization that I have been my own worst number 2 enemy…as number 1 is lost somewhere in the open world…I wonder; am I going to defend myself differently? What does that differently look like?

I think it would look like what I do for; have done for my kids. It would look scary and fierce. It would be quiet, but firm…unyielding. It would defend and die for the life of…the growth of…the success of. It wouldn’t take any shit and wouldn’t take No for an excuse or an answer.

So if that is my new truth…that I; the person who hid, survived but died inside every day…if I; am truly worth fighting for…then today must be the day that happens.

I have listened and remained silent to the uneducated and unlearned and uncompassionate taunts of “get over it all ready … stop using it as an excuse … that was years ago … you’re so unaffectionate … you’re not better, your worse … you need to forgive … you need to move on”. And my defense, or best defense, has been an argument. Has been a plea, really.

To listen, to understand…let me educate you so that you will understand. Let me beg, plead and cry so that you will understand. Let me share my horrors with you so that you will understand.

Not realizing, they don’t want to understand…they just want me to be different. Not such an unwelcome truth.

So, for her, and me…I’ll keep talking the unwelcome truth…the mundane horrors…not just to educate; but to defend my position; my truth; my battle; my scars; my reality; my healing; my moving on and growing up.

I’ll also speak for all of those that didn’t make it out of that little dark room with prying fingers and filthy deeds. ALL those little people who never got the chance to get out, grow up, get a job and a family. For all those little people, just like me…who grew into big people, and have rocked in the corner, for far to fucking long.


kpm ©


 

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