who the fuck was jezebel anyways

I only knew what I’d been told from many a sermon. The ones that were a prelude to sin, sinful ways, un-subservient wives, hell and damnation. That Jezebel was a manipulative, conniving whore who was ultimately thrown out a window into the street to be eaten by dogs.

All the women in the church would shift uncomfortable in their seats. All the men would grow a few inches in their chairs, look down the length of their noses at the surrounding would be harlots of the church. Single parents, young ladies – unwed young ladies, young ladies, girls that had usually turned down their tentacles and bullshit laying on of hands in prayer.

One friend of mine, an in the closet lesbo at that stage, had an older man, a ‘up standing pillar of the church and community’; rub her back during one of those laying on of hands sessions…her back…her lower back…her ass…her side…the side of her boobs…oops her boobs. She smacked him in the face and left in tears. Fucking good on her. She never came back. Go figure. But she was forever thereafter called Jezebel as well.

The first time I remember being called Jezebel, I had refused to take my hat off in church. I think I must have been about 13 or 14. I had come in late and sat in my usual spot at the back. I was still attending church, because I had too. It was part of the requirement for living at home. I came in and sat down. I wasn’t really paying attention, but I had skipped the 3 fast songs, the 1 slow song, the tithing speech, tithes and the next slow song. I arrived on the ‘winding up to 10 minutes of worship’ song, where they would all touch the face of God. I often wondered what would happen if God had said…”shit you lot are predictable and fucking boring! Go do something productive and feed the couple hundred kids round the corner that don’t have any food because their parents spent it all at the pub last night”. That would’ve been good.

But as I was pontificating, one of the ‘godly’ dudes came sidling up to me and asked me to remove my hat as it was disrespectful. ‘To who’, was my reply. ‘To God’, was his. ‘I don’t think God cares’, I said. But this dude did. His shoulders started puffing up and he got a bit of a chest thing going on…nearly frothing but not quite. ‘I told you to take it off…the Bible says you shouldn’t wear hats inside’…’really, where abouts does it say that?’. The good thing about sitting in church for years is I pretty much had a pretty good idea what was in that bible and what wasn’t. And what he was referring to was in the Old Testament somewhere…and they were forever rambling on about how the Old Testament had become defunct since Christ came back and died and stuff. Until there was a good occasion to revitalize the Old Testament for their own purposes…and this was one of them. Needless to say this dude got pretty pissed off with me, in the biblical sense of pissed off; I didn’t remove my hat, so he removed it for me. I told him not to touch me and to get fucked.

I got called Jezebel.

I left.

So here’s an edited version of Jezebel, according to Wiki…

Jezebel (/ˈdʒɛzəbəl/,[1] Hebrew: אִיזֶבֶל / אִיזָבֶל, Modern Izével / Izável Tiberian ʾÎzéḇel / ʾÎzāḇel) (fl. 9th century BCE) was a princess, identified in the Hebrew Book of Kings (1 Kings 16:31) as the daughter of Ethbaal, King of Sidon (Lebanon/Phoenicia) and the wife of Ahab, king of northern Israel.[2]

According to the biblical accounts, Jezebel incited her husband King Ahab to abandon the worship of Yahweh and encourage worship of the deities Baal and Asherah instead. Jezebel persecuted the prophets of Yahweh, and fabricated false evidence of blasphemy against an innocent landowner who refused to sell his property to King Ahab, causing the landowner to be put to death. For these transgressions against the God and people of Israel, Jezebel met a gruesome death – thrown out of a window by members of her own court retinue, and the flesh of her corpse eaten by stray dogs.

Jezebel became associated with false prophets. In some interpretations,[citation needed] her dressing in finery and putting on makeup [3] led to the association of the use of cosmetics with “painted women” or prostitutes.

Cultural symbol[edit]

Through the centuries, the name Jezebel came to be associated with false prophets. By the early 20th century, it was also associated with fallen or abandoned women.[15] In Christian lore, a comparison to Jezebel suggested that a person was a pagan or an apostate masquerading as a servant of God. By manipulation and/or seduction, she misled the saints of God into sins of idolatry and sexual immorality.[16] In particular, Christians associated Jezebel with promiscuity. In modern usage, the name of Jezebel is sometimes used as a synonym for sexually promiscuous and/or controlling women,[17] especially as a racist stereotype of Black women, the Jezebel stereotype.[18]

In evangelical Christian circles, the “Jezebel spirit” is used to describe the curtailment of and resistance to activity regarded as prophetic by nature and to nominate a spiritual force behind individuals and groups which exercise manipulation, domination and control.[19]   “

And here’s another explanation of jezebel…according to me.

She was a strong, beautiful woman, who knew what she wanted. She loved her country and her own religion. Now I’m not sure how the church gets off throwing her name around like that…as an insult. But from what I understand, she was a Queen…born of royalty herself…and her husband was a pansy. :)

kpm ©