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bacon, eggs, coffee, my beach & my yesterday

Had a hankering for a few things yesterday … mainly for fresh air and my lovely beach.

Which, by the way – whilst I’m explaining: I tend to call everything that is land, nature, the sea … MINE. Why?

a. Because I am Tanagta Whenua.

b. I am the land, nature, the sea.

So when I post my “My Backyard”, photos – this is what I’m referring too. Sometimes it is literally my backyard, in the pakeha sense of the word. Others times, I’m referring Aotearoa: My Land 😉

So in amongst the hankerings of yesterday, bacon, eggs and coffee, was on my agenda.

So we decided to mix it up, and combine all of my hankerings 🙂

Yep thats right, we packed up the gas burner in the back of the car, headed down to My beach and had a fry up 🙂

What better way to enjoy food? Can you think of a better view to enjoy all that deliciousness too?

Me neither 🙂

the elusive cup of coffee

Every morning I do the same routine.

Get up …

put the coffee on …

take a dump (twitter it at the same time 😉 ) …

put the washing in …

pour the coffee …

Blog and update my social media who-hah.

And every single morning … I lose my coffee cup. How? How is that possible?

When I find it, it’s cold, but I drink it anyway cos theres no way I’m wasting that elixir of life … I pour another one … and promptly lose that one too.

Same routine.

I’ve tried travel mugs, smaller cups, brightly coloured cups (easily spotted was the hope) … and I still lose them. And when I say lose; technically they’re not lost, because they are still within my vicinity … but I’ll spend at least 5-7 minutes walking around the house looking for that cup every time I ‘lose’ it.

It’s never in the same place, which is also annoying. I put keys in the same place … so I can go back to them when I need them … I put my hair brush in the same place … my tweezers … nail clippers etc etc … all those little things that seem to get misplaced easily.

But A Cup?

What gives?

As far as 1st world problems go, this is up there … but I thought I’d just throw it out there … yah never know, the coffee cup gods may smile upon Me and help Me find my elusive cup more easily tomorrow morning 🙂

love the free stuff

I was looking round my little house the other day, and it occurred to Me that virtually all the stuff in there …

*quick digress – theres not a lot of stuff – I like things minimal … and there’d actually be less stuff, but the partner is a fucking hoarder LOL … FML! – end digression*

… Is free.

As in, it was given to us, or we found it, or ‘inherited’ it, or made it, or re-cycled it … or it was out the front of someones house, marked “FREE” 🙂

No shit!

I think the only thing Me and the partner have bought as a ‘couple’ is a mortar and pestle … oh, and my coffee grinder.

Yup, thats it. LOL.

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366 reasons to smile ~ +123.

+123. And that coffee has to be a decent one … none of that instant crap 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +104.

+104. Oh Hell Yes 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +54.

+54. Bahahaha,  Yep!

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pre-phone call debrief …

Yes … I will be ringing father later on today.

It’s been a hard one to shake off, and all I feel now is anger. Not debilitating anger … more, ‘who the fuck are you?’ anger. It’s quite empowering.

The partner is over me talking about it … but that’s too bad 😉 I’ve listened too many of his rants on pointless shit for many years … I told to suck it up and pretend he’s listening lol. He did.

He seems to think I don’t want to hurt my fathers feelings, and after initially being slightly offended, I had to concur.

Whats interesting, is it’s a new thing for Me. Which I’ve said before … but I’m used to cutting shit off … not necessarily ‘letting it go’, but cutting it off without a second thought … like de-friending or un-following 😉

And it took a shitload of time to get to that place … I had cling-ons for years … which I slowly but surely weeded out.

My father had never really been on the radar. Not in terms of ‘getting to know a niggah’ anyways.

I had to sort through my feelings about him without him being present. I don’t know him. I neither like him or dislike. He is no more or less than the lady at the dairy that sells me smokes on a Wednesday morning.

That has changed since my sister died. It seemed more pertinent to establish some sort of connection with him … or get to know him at least … or let him remain in my life at the least, least.

How this is supposed to look? I dunno!

But today I’m going to take the proverbial bull by the horns and try to get a few things clear. It’ll be like wadding through a muddy pond, but I’ll give it a go.

I’m simplistic … not stupid … but simplistic.

And I need to know his intent.

Now, as a pts(d) peep, intent, or the gutt feeling of intent, is all I have ever worked with. This has meant that if I feel there is a hidden agenda and it feels unsafe then I ‘flee motherfucker flee’. I’ve come to realise that this a perfectly respectable way of dealing with shit when it’s coming at you left right and centre. And trusting my gutt instinct has never really seen me wrong.

However, I am now equipped with a few more skills and a little more patience … believe it or not.

So even though my gutt says, ‘cut him off’, I am going to enquire as to his intent before I make my final decision.

I have a fishy feeling that he is just a little fucked up and doesn’t really know what he’s doing and is reacting and acting as he thinks is expected of him.

What he doesn’t realise about me though; because he doesn’t know me at all … is that I don’t believe in expectations. I’m a realist.

It’s going to be an interesting conversation indeed …

Considering I only had crappy moccona coffee this morning and not my usual freshly ground coffee beans … it could be a little more challenging!

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366 reasons to smile ~ +53.

+53. 🙂 LOL

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how do you know you’re getting old?

when living on the edge

means having coffee after

6pm!

😉

i’m not going to call it insomnia … its just a ‘moment’

I haven’t had one of these nights for awhile … 2:56am, and I’m not asleep … I don’t want to be asleep … but I do … but I can’t …

So, I’m trying to just roll with it and do all the things I’ve learnt; have been doing for the past year … relax … calm the farm … not worry … keep on clearing out my head … breath slowly …

I guess though, if I end up being awake all night … I’ll get to enjoy my coffee earlier … I’ve only got another 3 hours 😉