the elusive cup of coffee

Every morning I do the same routine.

Get up …

put the coffee on …

take a dump (twitter it at the same time 😉 ) …

put the washing in …

pour the coffee …

Blog and update my social media who-hah.

And every single morning … I lose my coffee cup. How? How is that possible?

When I find it, it’s cold, but I drink it anyway cos theres no way I’m wasting that elixir of life … I pour another one … and promptly lose that one too.

Same routine.

I’ve tried travel mugs, smaller cups, brightly coloured cups (easily spotted was the hope) … and I still lose them. And when I say lose; technically they’re not lost, because they are still within my vicinity … but I’ll spend at least 5-7 minutes walking around the house looking for that cup every time I ‘lose’ it.

It’s never in the same place, which is also annoying. I put keys in the same place … so I can go back to them when I need them … I put my hair brush in the same place … my tweezers … nail clippers etc etc … all those little things that seem to get misplaced easily.

But A Cup?

What gives?

As far as 1st world problems go, this is up there … but I thought I’d just throw it out there … yah never know, the coffee cup gods may smile upon Me and help Me find my elusive cup more easily tomorrow morning 🙂

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366 reasons to smile ~ +123.

+123. And that coffee has to be a decent one … none of that instant crap 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +104.

+104. Oh Hell Yes 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +54.

+54. Bahahaha,  Yep!

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pre-phone call debrief …

Yes … I will be ringing father later on today.

It’s been a hard one to shake off, and all I feel now is anger. Not debilitating anger … more, ‘who the fuck are you?’ anger. It’s quite empowering.

The partner is over me talking about it … but that’s too bad 😉 I’ve listened too many of his rants on pointless shit for many years … I told to suck it up and pretend he’s listening lol. He did.

He seems to think I don’t want to hurt my fathers feelings, and after initially being slightly offended, I had to concur.

Whats interesting, is it’s a new thing for Me. Which I’ve said before … but I’m used to cutting shit off … not necessarily ‘letting it go’, but cutting it off without a second thought … like de-friending or un-following 😉

And it took a shitload of time to get to that place … I had cling-ons for years … which I slowly but surely weeded out.

My father had never really been on the radar. Not in terms of ‘getting to know a niggah’ anyways.

I had to sort through my feelings about him without him being present. I don’t know him. I neither like him or dislike. He is no more or less than the lady at the dairy that sells me smokes on a Wednesday morning.

That has changed since my sister died. It seemed more pertinent to establish some sort of connection with him … or get to know him at least … or let him remain in my life at the least, least.

How this is supposed to look? I dunno!

But today I’m going to take the proverbial bull by the horns and try to get a few things clear. It’ll be like wadding through a muddy pond, but I’ll give it a go.

I’m simplistic … not stupid … but simplistic.

And I need to know his intent.

Now, as a pts(d) peep, intent, or the gutt feeling of intent, is all I have ever worked with. This has meant that if I feel there is a hidden agenda and it feels unsafe then I ‘flee motherfucker flee’. I’ve come to realise that this a perfectly respectable way of dealing with shit when it’s coming at you left right and centre. And trusting my gutt instinct has never really seen me wrong.

However, I am now equipped with a few more skills and a little more patience … believe it or not.

So even though my gutt says, ‘cut him off’, I am going to enquire as to his intent before I make my final decision.

I have a fishy feeling that he is just a little fucked up and doesn’t really know what he’s doing and is reacting and acting as he thinks is expected of him.

What he doesn’t realise about me though; because he doesn’t know me at all … is that I don’t believe in expectations. I’m a realist.

It’s going to be an interesting conversation indeed …

Considering I only had crappy moccona coffee this morning and not my usual freshly ground coffee beans … it could be a little more challenging!