e-ven …

even, though, it didn’t work out as i expected even, though, it didn’t work out as i planned even, though, it didn’t work out anything like what it ‘should’ have even, though, it didn’t work out anything like the mental picture i had painted. it’s, still, pretty fucken gangstah.

dreaming, again

the invasion dream. awkward. breathless. frustrating. left screaming, “leave Me alone”.

dream(s)

the screaming dream. i scream. noone listens. fucker is painful.

I don’t want to close my eyes

Sometimes I don’t want to turn the lights off…and I don’t want to close my eyes. Sometimes I don’t want to sleep…just in case I can see what I do when my eyes are closed. That sometimes moment…is now. She says, the psychologist, that even though I don’t want to do something, I need to…

ptsd treatment update

The binaural beat things seem to be working in conjunction with sleeping pill reduction Walking everyday seems to be tiring me out naturally, at last Backlash of sleeping pill reduction – lots and lots of dreams – exhausting and vivid – a replay of old things I’d forgotten – some exceptionally hideous ones Noticing more…

mauri of me #12 ~ dreams

My Partner. I have my days where I’d like to throttle him; not in a good way ;) And then there’s day, or nights, like last night, when I get that he gets Me … and I’m grateful. The nightmares are re-surfacing / flashbacks are becoming more frequent. But of course, I’m not alone in…

dreams, paint & a late response to a request

It’s not that I forget that they diagnosed pts(d). Not at all. It’s just that sometimes I get a taste of ‘normality’ – very loose definition of – and I just enjoy rolling with it. And then something happens … usually in my dreams. And I am viciously catapulted back to ‘reality’ – also loosely…

dreaming, what?

a shit load of weird ass dreams has greeted my minimal sleep over the last few weeks. and i’d kinda forgotten, thats how my ‘being’ processes shit: and if i pay enough attention to them, i can figure out whats going on in my world … so thats what i’ve been trying to do: 1….