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the ear plug update:

Bit of a shitty ass photo (taken on my shitty ass phone lol) … but these puppies finally arrived!!

I am still undecided as to whether they live up to their claim to ‘blocking sound’, but they are definitely more comfortable, I think because they’re smaller, than those ugly foamy things.

The next phase of this whole sound proofing Me will be noise minimising head phones that can go over these and that I can play music through … while my little recycled headphones work pretty good at home when I’m desperate … they are really heavy to wear for long periods of time.

Fussy? Mabes .. .but hey it’s all trial and era ;)


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

ear plug update:

Yep, they semi-worked good.

Not as good as the drugs though.

#JS


kpm ©


 

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todays experiment …

I’ve bleated on about my super duper sensitive hearing many times before on this blog. This is kind of one of those … but not really ;)

Pts(d) and all its glory … means that my hearing has alerted Me to ‘danger’ and has also been the trigger for my adrenaline to start pumping. Yah. It’s a continuous battle between ‘over-hearing’ and not hearing at all. It’s always seemed necessary to hear, so I am alerted to some impending doom and can therefore respond … and Not being able to hear, like over certain loud noises etc, has also sent Me into a panic fuck at times … because I can’t hear. Grrr.

Well the other day I HAD to go to the shop … theres no other cunt here and I needed smokes … yes I know … the shit you’ll go to the shop for!!

So I drugged up … of course … and still felt panicky as fuck. I had my usuals … sunglasses, orange, my stick, my music etc, and was feeling like a super retard but didn’t particularly give a flying fuck (thanks to the drugs :) ) … but I was still floating on a level 6 panic fuck.

I decided to ring my daughter for moral support … cos that might help … according to one of those self help manual thingees. And she was lovely and it helped … sort of … I got off the phone and was at a 4 – 4 1/2 maybe. But still not confident about being out in the big wide world … *rolling my eyeballs here … theres nothing like reviewing shit after the fact argh ….*

Somewhere in there it occurred to Me to put my ear plugs in.

Well … my fuck …

Everything dropped into near silence … including my insides.

At a semi confident 1 – 1 1/2, I set off to the shop.

No fucking sweat!!!

OMFG … why hadn’t I done this earlier in my life???

So, just in case it was a fluke, I am experimenting with these puppies today to see if it decreases the anxiety ~ panic fuck!!

So far I’ve missed one phone call and all the noise coming from the neighbours thumping around. I can still hear D’Angelo playing off’ve my computer (yes, super duper hearing) … but all the other ‘white noise’ or background noise is cut out!

Because I usually get jumpy when Not being able to hear, I had to do a little assessment of what was better at this time … what I could deal with.

My doors are locked … I have weapons in case of surprise attack … the usual stuff. And I think I’ll be alright if I miss a door knock or if someone shows up un-announced … it usually scares the shit out of Me whether I can hear it or not!

So, I think I’m prepared.

I’ll let you know how it goes and if anyone gets hurt :)


kpm ©