numbing.dissociative.retard.

thats me.

and now i’m fucking paying for it.


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

SaveSave

SaveSave

Advertisements
Image

unfucking thyself 101.95

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

95.

Another … WTF is that moment lol …

It’s part of a new painting … just a part … a macro of a part … hows that for fucking with yah … and the mindfulness thingy … well … that came out of a conversation i had with my youngest girl recently … whose on the verge of ‘falling in love’ again, or so she reckons lol.

She had asked Me, Yes Me, was there a right way to let go of love.

Gulp.

I much preferred it when she asked simple questions like ‘who was in NZ first’, or ‘how the fuck are you supposed to shove that up there … (referring to a tampon)’ … LOL.

But feelings … emotions … the dirty L word … ewww … I am a No-Go when it comes to that shizz.

But not one to pussy out … *eye ball roll* … I told her I’d have a think and get back to her … *another eye ball roll*

So I thought about it.

I thought about all those that I had fucked.

The one person I could say I had ever made consensual ‘love’ too.

All those that I had shut out.

All those that had pledged devotion and I promptly shat upon.

All those that I had wanted but hadn’t wanted Me.

All those that I had used.

All those that had used Me.

All those I’d come close to loving but was too fucking scared too say so.

‘Twas a sobering recollection. Groan …

And then I messaged her back and advised her of the following, with, of course, a *note to daughter* attached which said:

“I have absolutely No idea how to do love except where you girls are concerned; which leads me to believe there is No right or wrong way to do it or to let it go.”

And thusly – I advised her to fall in love as much as she could  … as deeply as she could … for as long as she could … enjoying every little bit of it for what it was in that moment … and then when she’d had enough … to let it go just as readily as she had picked it up. That life was to short to regret not looking, loving, enjoying and moving on.

What does all that have to do with the photograph?

Sometimes we don’t take notice of, let alone enjoy, the macro view cos we’re to focussed on wanting to see the bigger picture … what it ‘might be’, potential and all that bullshit … instead of just enjoying the view you have for the time you have it <3

I love my girl.

<3

Image

reconciling the hormones #45

#TodaysFeels

#NoFurtherExplanationNecessary

#meme is of a close up photograph of a cat hissing.

The caption reads:

Menopause. It’s a thin line between love and homocide.

reconciling the hormones #43

Alright, all jokes aside …

This is like one of those rollercoasters (which I have avoided for most of my life!) that just won’t quit!

It’s like 1,000 shades of emotion all in the space of an hour … with 5  minutes rest .. and then right back to the beginning again!!

Fuuuuck!

reconciling the hormones #21

todays recipe:

random fits of crying followed by a large slathering of rage followed even closer by a few pinches of punctuated home truths …

and you got yo’self some serious waves of menopause …

i’mma riding this bitch …

Image

366 reasons to smile ~ +229.

+229. I like to believe that it is!

SaveSave

SaveSave

why is it?

Why is there an overwhelming ‘need’ to diagnose and ‘treat’ women?

To be quiet.

To be seemly.

To be tempered.

To be polite.

To be nurturing.

To be loving.

Why the fuck can’t they just be?

Be fucking angry.

Be fucking violent.

Be fucking loud.

Be fucking rude.

Be fucking hostile.

Be fucking emotional.

Why are the things that are ok for men are seen as ‘crazy’ for women?

Like speaking their truth.

Like saying No.

Like disagreeing.

Like crying.

Like screaming.

Like beating the shit out of some asshole.

We react. We are. We want. We hate. We rage.

That doesn’t need a fucking diagnosis.

That doesn’t need fucking treatment.

That means you should get the hell out-of-the-way.

all in a ptsd day

taken

over powered

violate

moved

respond

frozen

chill

fear

ancient

short

sharp

hard

blunt

cut

don’t

cannot

feel

hurt

ache

abnormal

kill

run

scream

sunshine

wake

shatter

red

hate

scorn

smile

fake

push

pick

heavy

lurch

find

set

cloud

heat

power

wield

fight

fight

fight

ptsd