ah huh

when the crux of a conversation is someone telling me what i should be doing, or shouldn’t be doing …

you can bet there be some reactionary shit happening thereafter!


kpm ©


 

the d.

define emotions.

why? is that gonna make them go away? or make them better?

i think the fuck Not.


kpm ©


 

?/statement:

can you control joy.


kpm ©


 

numbing.dissociative.retard.

thats me.

& now i’m fucking paying for it.


kpm ©


 

SaveSave

SaveSave

why is it?

Why is there an overwhelming ‘need’ to diagnose and ‘treat’ women?

To be quiet.

To be seemly.

To be tempered.

To be polite.

To be nurturing.

To be loving.

Why the fuck can’t they just be?

Be fucking angry.

Be fucking violent.

Be fucking loud.

Be fucking rude.

Be fucking hostile.

Be fucking emotional.

Why are the things that are ok for men are seen as ‘crazy’ for women?

Like speaking their truth.

Like saying No.

Like disagreeing.

Like crying.

Like screaming.

Like beating the shit out of some asshole.

We react. We are. We want. We hate. We rage.

That doesn’t need a fucking diagnosis.

& definitely doesn’t need fucking treatment.


kpm ©


 

Image

unfuck. thyself.

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

Another … WTF is that moment lol …

It’s part of a new painting … just a part … a macro of a part … hows that for fucking with yah … and the mindfulness thingy … well … that came out of a conversation i had with my youngest girl recently … whose on the verge of ‘falling in love’ again, or so she reckons lol.

She had asked Me, Yes Me, was there a right way to let go of love.

Gulp.

I much preferred it when she asked simple questions like ‘who was in NZ first’, or ‘how the fuck are you supposed to shove that up there … (referring to a tampon)’ … LOL.

But feelings … emotions … the dirty L word … ewww … I am a No-Go when it comes to that shizz.

But not one to pussy out … *eye ball roll* … I told her I’d have a think and get back to her … *another eye ball roll*

So I thought about it.

I thought about all those that I had fucked.

The one person I could say I had ever made consensual ‘love’ too.

All those that I had shut out.

All those that had pledged devotion and I promptly shat upon.

All those that I had wanted but hadn’t wanted Me.

All those that I had used.

All those that had used Me.

All those I’d come close to loving but was too fucking scared too say so.

‘Twas a sobering recollection. Groan …

And then I messaged her back and advised her of the following, with, of course, a *note to daughter* attached which said:

“I have absolutely No idea how to do love except where you girls are concerned; which leads me to believe there is No right or wrong way to do it or to let it go.”

And thusly – I advised her to fall in love as much as she could  … as deeply as she could … for as long as she could … enjoying every little bit of it for what it was in that moment … and then when she’d had enough … to let it go just as readily as she had picked it up. That life was to short to regret not looking, loving, enjoying and moving on.

What does all that have to do with the photograph?

Sometimes we don’t take notice of, let alone enjoy, the macro view cos we’re to focussed on wanting to see the bigger picture … what it ‘might be’, potential and all that bullshit … instead of just enjoying the view you have for the time you have it <3

I love my girl.

<3


kpm © : ig @kpm-artist


 

Image

getting to it: the unfucking of thyself.

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

It’s been an utterly amazing journey up to Whanganui and back. I’m still tired but happy … or content … I’m not sure which one … or both … oh whatever … I’m good!

The River.

Me and my Mama went up to find our tipuna (ancestors). That was the mish anyways.

We didn’t find her.

But we found the start … or end … of the journey She took to end up where she did.

Slightly mysterious I know … but that seems to be the way. And talk about mess with my sense of ‘achievement’, ‘getting it done Now’ and all the pedantic shit!

Thats not how this is going to get done we’ve discovered.

Like the Awa (River) … it’s a slow, methodical, unfolding and emotional process. It’s not going to be a matter of googling it and it’s done.

We met peeps … we talked … we told our story … they told theirs … they talked about ‘the River’ and it’s people … which is Us too we’ve realised …

I did all the things that I usually can’t / won’t / don’t like doing!

Anywho … this photograph was at the top of some bad ass cliffs that lead onto the road that takes you up the River. Scared the living shit out of Me! But I got my pic … and surprisingly, many more after that.

To say the Awa is majestic is an understatement. It’s something I haven’t quite got the words for yet.

Over the next little while I’ll post the pics from our trip … the whole dam experience was one mindfulness mind / heart / emotion fuck! A good one though …

<3


kpm ©


 

 

the.hormones.

Alright, all jokes aside …

This is like one of those rollercoasters (which I have avoided for most of my life!) that just won’t quit!

It’s like 1,000 shades of emotion all in the space of an hour … with 5  minutes rest .. and then right back to the beginning again!!

Fuuuuck!


kpm ©


 

hormone wave.

todays recipe:

random fits of crying followed by a large slathering of rage followed even closer by a few pinches of punctuated home truths …

and you got yo’self some serious waves of menopause …

i’mma riding this bitch …


kpm ©


 

a ptsd day

taken

over-power

violate.

.

move

respond

frozen.

.

chill

fear

ancient.

.

short

sharp

hard.

.

blunt

cut

don’t.

.

can’t

feel

hurt.

.

ache

abnormal

kill.

.

run

scream

sunshine.

.

wake

shatter

red.

.

hate

scorn

smile.

.

fake

push

pick.

.

heavy

lurch

find.

.

set

cloud

heat.

.

power

wield

run.

.

fight

fight

fight

.


kpm©