re write – thirty seven

“capital letters whilst writing, may denote Yelling … but guess what: they are Still only letters …”




photography .67

#bnw #bnwmood #bnwfeels #rain #rainydays #love #dark #cold #wet #nosunshine #justrain #macro #macroism #macros #photoblog #photograph #photo #photograhy #kpm ©

For more photography and art go to @kpm-artist 



expression ~ pts(d): the ‘explanation’ / and the combo

So I’ve decided to combine my pts(d) photographic series with my ‘re-write’ statements (and anything else they may seem fitting for ;) ) … because … because … fuck, I had a really good reason and have fucking forgot it …

But heres the explanation (of sorts) for the photographic series, first published on Oct 16, 2016 @ 13:06! IKR ! And pic number 1, which is a #throwback to Oct 16, 2016 @ 13:12 Geezus … neat alright lol.

pts(d) expression #1

I’ve been thinking about doing this photography series for a while … and was not sure how to ‘explain it’ … and there it was … the need to explain.

Westernised society, has this fucked up need to explain everything … with words … backed up with documented proof.

Google it. I’m not wrong.

Indigenous societies, felt no such ‘need’. They relied on instinct, intuition, oral histories, their ancestors. All that is ‘seen’ and ‘unseen’.

Google that. I’m not wrong.

As my PTS(D) journey has gone along, and I feel as if I’m ‘healing’ (*makes vomit face*) … another train of thought has come up.

…… I’m over explaining or trying to express things with words.

Words are good. I’m good at words.

But there’s some things that cannot be expressed with words.

They are the things deep down … the screams … the pictures … the indignation … the fear …

I’m an artist.

Always have been.

I’m the kid that got picked last for the baseball team, because I didn’t like the grass, the ball, the interaction, the sweat.

But I was also the kid that could tell you (if anyone had ever cared to ask); what happened to ‘that girl’ over there last night … what was going on at home that she didn’t tell anyone about.

I could see it, feel it … on her. I could see it in her body shift and shrinking motions. I could see it in her darkening eyes. I could feel it in her demeanour.

There are no real words for that.

And whatever that is; that ability to ‘see’ what isn’t expressed through words; has haunted me forever.

I stopped looking at people’s eyes; or taking notice of how they moved.

What I haven’t understood until recently though, is that is who I am. It is what makes me ME.

While the ‘experts’ say it’s all PTS(D);  there has never really been a ‘prior too’ PTS(D). It has always been ‘me and ptsd’. It is my norm. And while I’m down for overcoming being an anxious fuck … some of what I am, how I am … is what it is … it is just me.

Does that make ‘others’ feel uncomfortable?


But where were they when I was ‘experiencing’ trauma? Where were those ‘others’ when I was ‘uncomfortable’?

Thats right … Not Present!


This next lot of photographs are my expression of an explanation; a reason; a thought; an anger; an empowerment; a laugh; a tear … all relating to Me and PTS(D).


Welcome to the next part of my hikoi  (1. (verb) to step, stride, march, walk.)

For more photography and art go to @kpm-artist 



sometimes when i

can’t string a

sentence together …

no longer feeling

like some kind of


and the thought of

writing ones own

thesis is,


fucking daunting …

and poetry

(as defined by the poetry gods),

seems to far


away …

i’ll line up a ramble,

that looks like


It works





art ~ abstract ‘arting’ [2017]

a blank canvas.

not always my idea of


a black canvas

on the other hand.


and while some like pretty


i prefer dripping


you see,

i finally did away with the




and went back to what

i ‘felt’.


has always been about

the ‘feels’,

i just hadn’t realised it.

in a world that likes





there just aren’t any

to ‘describe’ what it is I



but ‘slapping paint onto canvas’;

thats like making mud-pies;

or squishing



it doesn’t need an



it just ‘Is’.

and just being,

just doing,

just ‘Is-ing’,

is sometimes

far more productive,



For more photography and art go to @kpm-artist 



a little update

It’s been a crusty week / weekend. Me and the partner have some kind of fluy crappy virus thing … his of course is way worse because it’s part of the ‘man – flu’ syndrome. Yes peeps, the struggle is real ;)

Aside from this, I’m plodding, trying to remain on course, positive and all that bullshit.

I’m acutely aware that the anniversary of my sisters death is coming up in a few weeks.

The ‘family’ is silent.

Her babies are grappling with their pain.

I don’t like it. At all.

Looming anxiety mixed with ‘virus symptoms’ are making for a slightly uncomfortable existence at the moment – thank fuck for anti-anxiety meds!

My partners father is unwell … heart related, unwell. I know the worry is straining him. We find out this week what the haps is next.

On a completely different note:

I have approximately 5 weeks before our womens collective Art Exhibition goes up … and I’m … ummm … not ready.

Art, or painting … for Me, is a ‘in-the-moment’, ‘go-with-the-feeling’ kind of thing. Which is why I’ve had difficulty creating pieces to order or to sell. My Art is about venting or expressing, not about making people happy with pretty pictures. So when it comes to knocking something up for an Exhibition … yeah well … need I say more. Eeeek.

And on a similar note … but Not lol: I did 3 pieces for an Exhibition that goes up today. I’ll post more on that one later in the week. I feel a little apprehensive, strangely enough. I didn’t last time. But these pieces are hugely raw. Yes, on any given day, raw is my go-to; but these are even rawer than that lol.

Anyway …

Back to the grind. There’s a mound of washing and no other cunt to do it ;)


artivism ~ abstracting pts(d)

abstracting pts(d)

#art #artivism #painting #acrylic #hardboard #shadows #print #panic #anxiety #darkness #breathing #trapped #expression #pts(d) #kpm©


I am Not yo’ Nee-gro … no, sir, I aint ;)

Know Your Baldwin …

I love the Response Process … Solid!

From YouTube:

Published on Mar 13, 2017

Janelle Monáe, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Rock, Lupita Nyong’o and these other celebrities want you to know that they’re not your negro — and that you should know your James Baldwin.

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mauri of me #17 ~ change

slow and steady.

little by little

my view is changing

i know it is

i can feel it,

see it.

what i notice,

is the same,

but better.

who i notice,

is the same,

but different.


i knew i would

i could

just didn’t know

how, or when.


i’m a resourceful bish

like that.


would you look at that :)

It’s been 2 years :)

It’s gone fast … but I appreciate being able to do this …

and it’s saved Me a shit-tonne of money on useless therapy ;)