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teach enlightenment

Found this in my news feed today … it should be reasonably self-explanatory.

It’s a stark reminder of just how shit our perceptions can be, and why rape is even still a concept in this day and age.

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Remember:

  • You may be ‘enlightened’, but there are plenty of fuckwits that aren’t. Always be watchful. 
  • Trust your gut. If it says it’s strange, then it is.
  • ‘No’ is enough of a statement; it needs no explanation.

not my meme.


 

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wife bullshit

had a recent interesting reminisce with FB compadres re my past life of church-going wifey-ness.

i was never really that good at either to be honest.

thank fuck.

reason?

both are bullshit.

and thats where i’ll leave it.


not my meme.


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

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yes, *groan* another racism rant…from the ‘coloured’ perspective

#throwback Jul 18, 2016 @ 20:21


It’s completely in our faces at the moment, and I know this is a good thing … as in it’s getting talked about. But Oh My Fuck, it is wearying!

Yesterday was a tough day on Facebook … LOL, I know; 1st world problems!. But the thing with Facebook, and other social media mechanisms; is while they are brilliant for information sharing; for networking etc; that doesn’t mean its just the ‘enlightened’ that get to share their info / findings with like-minded peeps.

The ‘racists’ are using the same tool also. And again, Oh My Fuck …

I guess, it means we, meaning the entire social media universe, gets to hear / see the bullshit these pricks have been spilling for generations … but only to the coloured folks and amongst their like-minded ignoramus fuckwit KKK mates.

However, they seem to have employed a couple of old school tactics and twisted them quite impressively with a PC tone, to validate their airhead theories and introduce them into the conversation.

Heres a couple of the latest:

“Racism is a perception … you are obviously not ‘free’ in your mind and are still tied to the ‘theory’ that is racism”

“Racism is a tool of Marxism and mind control”

“I worked with the Indigenous and there are some good ones (indigenous that is). The rest just don’t  know how to act properly”

“If you obey the law then you won’t have to worry about being shot”

*Now as a side-ish note – I don’t dislike / hate white people, in fact, some of my best friends are white! (hahaha) … seriously though; there are hateful fuckwits everywhere, some of them pale some of them non-pale … I think though, whats happening at the moment within the Indigenous / Black communities / cultures, is IN RESPONSE to a fuckload of years of pent-up frustration … it is IN RESPONSE to grief … it is IN RESPONSE to the fuckload of years of brutality that we and our ancestors have endured … it is IN RESPONSE to feeling powerless … it is IN RESPONSE to trying to integrate and remain co-sure and it failing miserably … it is ALL IN RESPONSE … it is our response … and however that looks to those that are not responding is really beside the point … it has never been about YOU … you are able to adjust your perceptions / learn … it is about the sins of your fathers and their fathers and the mess they left behind. It is about being tired of grieving and carrying that grief. It is about being tired full stop … it is about wondering when the hell its going to actually change and if all ‘our’ ‘work’ actually has made a difference at all … because right now I’ll be fucked if I actually know!*

 

So, in the last couple days, I’ve been punching hard, at the ignorance … at the ‘theories’ … I’ve been trying gently, and at times, not so gently … to educate.

It occurred to me though, whilst taking a dump this morning; that all my responses are similar to those that I’ve had, or did, employ to respond to fuckwits that thought, and said, I should ‘get over’, ‘move on’, ‘stop whinging’ about being sexual assaulted as an infant. AY! God forbid I don’t have a reason to be fucking annoyed about that! Grrrr.

So this ‘racism process’ and the responding is shaping up to be a somewhat familiar replay… on a personal level.

I’ve gone through all my usual discussions with them…the ignorant.

I’ve begged and pleaded for them to understand … for them to understand where it is I’m coming from … to walk a fraction of a fucking mile in my shoes and feel what it’s like. But they don’t want to … for whatever reasons.

So how do I, “I”, continue on so the grief and the frustration of the whole fucking thing doesn’t completely consume ME?

Do I keep trying to educate? Do I ignore it? Not look at any of it? Do I slump into a state of despair and relaxing ignorance???

It kind of sounds nice …

But…

The thing is, if I didn’t want to respond to ignorant assholes about being sexually assaulted as an infant, I just didn’t tell them. Or don’t tell them. On a particularly hard day, I don’t tell peeps I feel anxious or am having a panic attack because I feel trapped … No, I just tell them I have a contagious virus and they need to stay away. I tell them I’m busy. I tell them I’ve got a really bad period this month and am bleeding like a stuck pig. Any of those excuses are reason enough for them to stay away and NOT ask more questions.

BUT…

I can’t lie or make excuses about their perception of me being BROWN, of COLOUR, a NIGGER, a BLACK BITCH, a DIRTY MAORI …. I can’t change my skin pigmentation! So there is NO escaping it … ever. I can be ‘enlightened’; feel ‘free in the mind’; study Marxism and understand their theories; I can learn to live in their world … but I cannot change my skin colour and another’s perceptions that come with them seeing that skin colour.

I can be comfortable in my own skin and I can respond, or not, to the ignorance that is perpetuated on ME and ‘my kind’ everyday. But does that change ‘their’ perception of me?

You see, saying that we are under some sort of Marxist mind control and we are not ‘free’ from racism, is like telling someone with no legs, inhabiting a wheelchair, that they are not ‘free’ from their ‘disability’ and are ‘victims’ of their situation –  because they are under a Marxist mind control system and if they just ‘free’ themselves of all the negativity they themselves will be ‘free’!.

Guess what though fuckwits … It won’t grow their legs back will it? Because at the end of the day, ‘free’ or not, they will still be in a fucking wheelchair with no fucking legs and having to listen to the bullshit fucking rhetoric espoused by some fuckwit with fucking legs!

Its blaming the dude for having no legs and then condemning any response he may have toward the ignorance being dished out at him.

That is Bullshit.

I don’t know what to do about it all … venting is a start, thank fuck for blogging!

But then what??

Do I continue to teach the mokos that this is what their reality is? That there are ignorant fuckwits everywhere … that if they are accosted by the poupou, they need to comply …. that only if the environment is ‘safe’, they should speak out …

My tipuna (ancestors), going back close to 100 years ago; taught their children to NOT speak their language in schools or to anyone else who was pale skinned or in authority … to blend … to be as pakeha (white) as possible …

I always wondered WHY … now I get it.

They were preserving their future generations the only way they knew how. They were protecting them. They were ensuring their god dam survival.

I don’t want to do that … but I am thinking that maybe I need too!!!. Is the world really still that demented and twisted???

*sigh*


photography & art @kpm-artist 


 

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fucken-ay.

Heads up fuckers … and take note:


Nope … it’s not my #meme.


 

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dissecting, processing and clarifying : Me styles

The epic ‘Me” dissection and #throwback of Sep 11, 2017 @ 02:33. You know, I make myself laugh … and my father, well he’s definitely a dick. Thank fuck it didn’t take another 10 years to figure that one out ;)


Bullet points on ;)

  1. hey [Me]
  • by disabling the relationship, an air of maturity and authority is thusly donned.

2. I don’t mind you hating me you got every right,

  • affirmation and confirmation = I’m about to fuck you over … wait for it …

3. but

  • said after the initial ‘grooming statement’

4. when it effects my mokos

  • classic, ‘what about the children’ routine

5. to see your hatred towards me

  • classic blaming tactic … *yawn*

6. it hurts them and thats not fair,

  • ‘the children, the children … what about the children’

7. especially when they miss their mum,

  • ahh yes, the thick layer of guilt
  • ‘remember your sister died, you heartless bitch’

8. you can do whatever you like to me,

  • just to reiterate the opening statement whilst dusting off the super hero cape …

9. this is the second time you have done it,

  • just to add a touch of intellectual mystery … before …

10. you are nearly fifty and you still have a chip on your shoulder that I can’t help

  • oh, a big slathering of  …. the obvious!

11. just for the record

  • ahh, getting authoritatively technical now …

12. i didn’t abandon you, your mother left me,

  • ahh yah … strong women tend to do that after their husbands have beaten them and they’ve had enough of being treated like shit
  • aunty google said abandonment is waaaayyy different in definition to NEGLECT. JS.

13. if you don’t want anymore contact thats fine by me

  • *says whilst hitting the messenger ‘block’ button*

14. my mokos don’t want to come home to hatred like that

  • taadah!! All the patriarchal misogynistic controlling classics, straight from the ‘How To Shut Women Up and Keep Them Silent and Submissive’ Handbook.
  • Now to commence sulking.

;)


 

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oh the fathers day post and it’s repercussions

Ohhh, needed to repost this one from Sep 9, 2017. 

It’s Fathers Day today and I’ve struggled with it. But I’m refraining from dwelling on it … and then I found this. I remembered exactly what I culled. A toxic as fuck fake ass relationship.

There is nothing to regret.


So, today started off well … got up … had a shit … turned on the Wifi … started brewing the coffee and revved up the laptop … just like any other day in beach paradise …

Until it wasn’t.

If you’ve skulked around my blog for awhile, you’d have read my whingey ‘I’ve got daddy issues’ posts … believe Me, theres a tonne of them … posts, that is lol.

What you’d also have figured out by now, is my blog is my ‘diary’ slash vent slash learning area slash finding my voice slash processing that shit … place.

And I process a lot.

And I have processed a shit load more when it’s come to my father. Part of this, I recognise now, is because I am completely unfamiliar with the emotions attached to this scenario. So, it takes time to work all that through.

Dealing with my fathers personality is a completely different thing.

I’ve said it before – he is not a person I would Choose to hang out with or be friends with or even ‘get to know’. He’s everything I despise in a human. He’s racist, sexist, ignorant, manipulative and an all round know-it-all. Thing is, he’s not even very good at those things.

I’ve tried to listen and reason and listen some more. I’ve tried to be more patient than I usually am with his ‘type’. I’ve challenged and voiced my opinion, and reaped the consequences of that.

So I’ve been floating along, feeling somewhat violently enraged lately; knowing the root of that has probably got to do with my father and my disdain for being controlled – and then along comes fucking fathers day. I wrote a poem on my blog for that, but didn’t feel much better afterwards. So I posted the following on my FaceBook page; and felt a little better when other ‘friends’, who understood my twisted humour, sent me those little lol-ling affirmative emojis. I know – I’m lame – it doesn’t take much for Me to feel a little better about everything ;)

Note to whomever: Fathers Day was like, last weekend for Us.

Anyway … I moved on. I’ve blogged a few posts about being pissed off, but have generally tried to stick with the ‘reasons to smile’ and life is Ok routine.

And then this morning came.

And with it came this puppy:

Note: after the ‘hey’, my father used my name, rather than ‘sweetie’ or ‘sweetheart’ as he generally does when he’s fishing for something.

So to back up slightly; I lost my sister nearly a year ago. The angst between Me and my father has escalated since then. Mainly because he believes I should just do as I’m told.

Yeah right.

And you’ll Note, the passive aggressive use of force via ‘mokos’? Yeah thats some patriarchal, domestic violence kind of bullshit right there!

So while the coffee continued its brewing process and my pulse was starting to elevate slightly, I concocted this reply:

Please Note also-ly, that said father has not contacted Me or responded to my private messages since he left the country – again.

Also Note: the blanked out bits are the amount of times I tagged him into the post … to get him used to the concept … and to just piss him off really … all those notifications lol.

And thus began a chain of events that is still going.

My first ‘concern’ was my nieces (my fathers ‘mokos’ – grandchildren – these are my sisters kids). I also suspected that this use of ‘children’ and mokos routine was nothing more than a poor attempt at manipulation.

It needs to be said here: my father and his wife are both passive aggressives. However, he was a wife beater but got to old and frail so hung up his drinking mug and his beating gloves. She is the A Typical battered wife. She’s learnt how to control whats happening by lying and avoiding the truth – she pacifies him and placates him. The shit kicker is, she knows what she’s doing and why. She can quote the DV handbook. I don’t dislike her … but I won’t be manipulated by her either.

Anyway … back to it: I posted the following and tagged all my nieces and my other sister, into it. I figured it would do 1 of 2 things. Flush out the bullshit or blow up in my face. Gratefully it did the former.

My niece messaged and then we did a video call. I got to see her and her sister … and her babies <3 So beautiful! And we caught up and there was tears and snot and more tears and more talking.

Turns out my father and his wife have been manipulating and guilt tripping and trying to control these girls since their mama passed. I saw these beautiful girls cry their precious hearts out because my father and his wife had controlled the funeral and gone against all the girls wishes for their mama.

And then the kicker.

These 2 leaches had asked the girls for part of the insurance money their mama had left them. I wrote a post about this awhile ago; but at this stage I only had half the information. It isn’t some random family members who were trying to get their hands on the loot – it was these 2! My fucking god … I was fuming! I also told them in no uncertain terms – to Not Give These Two A Cent! They’ve had their time and pissed and gambled away most of their money. They have money for multiple trips back and forth from Oz to here; they don’t need their ‘mokos’ money … they just want it. Grrr.

After they talked about this all sorts of lies they had told to varying parties, came tumbling out … yep, more tears lol.

But I felt an amazing relief. And I could see the relief on the girls faces and in their voices. I was so pleased to see them … and we’ll do this more now.

After I’d finished talking with them, the following popped up in my messenger, from my fathers wife.

While it may look like she gives a shit, she really just didn’t want her money grubbing secret to get out.

Don’t worry: I got your number!

All this took Me till about 230pm. And then I was shaking and exhausted.

I’ve stopped shaking; I’m still exhausted and pissed off … but you know what? That rage that was deep in my belly … yeah, well thats subsided. It feels like a bit of a light switch has come on.

And I’ll be dealing with my father very soon. When I’m ready. But very soon.

This doesn’t make Me feel anxious at all. Which is pleasantly strange ;)


 

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my response on how we are reporting about sexual assault in the media

Via Facebook & edit:

Acknowledging a little girls survival <3 I should have done that first, apologies. Children survive in so many ways, they shouldn’t have too, but they do. To her brilliance and strength xxoo

Ok, this is going to be a long response to this article about a child who was raped by a man.

I absolutely abhor this shit. It is my archillies heel, so to speak. And I know enough about it to have both an impassioned viewed and an educated view.

Heres my beef on how the article is written:

1.”A Northland man high on methamphetamine raped a 3-year-old girl.” –
What, as opposed to a man whose not high on meth?
The proclivity to rape a child is already present. Meth is not the reason; meth is not the excuse. Our ‘systems’ need to stop using it as a reason and an excuse.
2. “His offending only came to light after a doctor confirmed the young child had contracted a sexually transmitted disease.”
What, because no-one noticed that a 3-year-old had been raped otherwise? It would have been/should have been quite noticeable! You don’t get to penetrate a small child and not have some type of outward damage. So this child was checked for damage and STIs? That in itself is traumatic.
3. “The man was invited to stay in the girl’s home but repaid the family’s kindness by raping the girl, Judge Duncan Harvey said.”
Little lesson I live by – Vet the people you invite into your home, especially if you have children. Thats not to say that the family was ignorant; but rule of thumb; I’d rather be unkind than have to kill you for hurting my child.
4. “He was sentenced to nine years and nine months’ jail and given a minimum non-parole period of five years.”
This pathetic. But this is The Crowns fault. Legislation is what it is. A judge can’t make a random decision to lock someone up for a trillion years just because what they did was horrible. Legislation needs to change for sentencing to change. I believe in capital punishment for these types of fuckers; but we don’t do that in New Zealand anymore. For that to change, legislation must change.
5. “In a pre-sentence report the man said he had been “amped up on meth and couldn’t remember anything” when he raped the girl.”
Thats is a typical pedophile excuse. Its not an excuse we should even be listening to anymore, let alone putting in any official report.
6. “Given her age there was nothing she could have possibly done to resist you. You raped this little girl when you knew you had an STD and you just didn’t care,” Judge Harvey said.”
But raping without an STI is ok? Really, what are we saying here?

How we report and how we notify and how we sentence says more about us, as in our Country’s, inability to operate effectively in regards to this type of crime. We like to excuse, be it ever so slightly, a perpetrators actions. Whether that is in our wording, or the sentencing….and we disregard a victim. Whether its because we can’t wrap our heads around the perpetrators sickness or it makes us feel uncomfortable. It is really beside the point. His actions are his. He has the sickness. The child was the recipient of his sickness.

How in the world did we come to believe that this type of behaviour is alright? We can all do a little haka about it, and say we don’t think its OK … but we all allow it in one way or another. Whether that be by not speaking out about old school offenders and offences … people that appear inappropriate but no-one wants to say anything… family members that do this shit on a regular basis, but again, no-one wants to say anything. We all allow it to happen.

Aside from legislation changing, our view on the right a child has to safety, also has to change. Dramatically.
Our view on what we do with perpetrators also needs to change. Dramatically.

This little darling is going to need a shitload of love and support and medical care…as is her family.

His sickness was already there … and this little darling was an opportunity.

Lesson for all: Lessen the opportunities these fuckers have.


#throwback May 18, 2016 @ 13:16


 

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said me: on the ongoing TPPA debate;

I had to have a little LOL at this #throwback Jan 23, 2016 @ 14:47. I do get quite passionate about certain things, and those that have been around for a while will know one of my pet peeves is the Crown aka government.

That hasn’t changed. But I’m a little less vocal on those cunts these days. I guess I can thank the US of A for that. Their POTUS is way way at the other end of the spectrum … our lot is teetering in the middle somewhere.

Now they’re not really my focus. I’d prefer to focus on Me, my health, my familia … oh don’t get Me wrong, I still be preaching decolonisation on  any given day ;)


The following is a not well received opinion  of mine, via Facebook; but who cares ay?….I have a long-standing record of pissing off Facebook friends with my ‘boardline activist opinions’….funny thing is though, they’d rather bitch on about what ever it is I’m writing about and espouse their right-wing views in the hope that I’ll ‘see the light’…but they don’t unfollow or defriend me…interesting!

Anyway…this particular piece was sparked after I viewed a news clip (which I can’t open on this thanks to Windows 8 want me to upgrade to 10 fucker), which states Maori, or tangata whenua may ‘snub’ our current prime minister on Waitangi Day, if the Crown chooses to sign the new TPPA legislation, due to be signed day before Waitangi Day I think it is.

Now whats interesting to me, is that we invite the Crown to ‘celebrations’ on Waitangi Day…its not a celebration for starters…its a reminder that the Crown has never lived up to their side of the deal. And secondly, the Crown is not interested! So why invite them? Its like some bad relationship that indigenous kept returning too, begging that they ‘like’ us! They’re not going too…they almost annihilated us for fucks sake!

So, I got slightly pissed and decided to flex my freedom of speech…lol.

Via my Facebook Page:

“now not to sound like the broken record….but this fucker has always been a fucker…those he works for/with, have always done as they pleased and moved the goal posts as they please…they dont give a shit about waitangi other than it gave them a legalised foot in the door…they’re not interested in patrnership…never were, never will be.
When will WE stop inviting the fuckers to peace talks/negotiating talks….when will WE stop asking for their goddam permission!
Dude is going to do TPPA; look at history…which one of the legislations has the Crown ever EVER put in place to benefit indigenous?? And when we protest and negotiate, which one of those has the Crown ever honoured or re-negotiated to benefit indigenous? They did it with foreshore seabed and multiple other shit, right the way back to 1840…ink was hardly drying on the parchment and they set about dismantling and annihilating the land and tangata whenua.
What makes us think that they have changed suddenly???
I’m not saying don’t protest…hell, Im there…I’m saying…stop asking the fuckers for permission…stop inviting them to negotiate, on their terms…they are not interested in partnership! How about WE find our own terms and do that! Just because they assimilate and try to dictate, does not mean we have to let them! Our tipuna negotiated because it was the only way forward in the face of extinction and complete decimation! But we aren’t in that place anymore! We don’t need to be fucked up the asshole!
Let me say it again….THE CROWN IS NOT INTERESTED IN NEGOTIABLE TERMS; PARTNERSHIP OR EQUALITY…THEY NEVER HAVE BEEN…NEVER WILL BE…
STOP INVITING THEM TO THE FUCKING HUI!”
 

The government is set to sign the deal the day before Waitangi Day commemorations kick off.
tvnz.co.nz
(loose) Translation ~
Hui – meeintg
Tangata Whenua – people of the land
Maori – the name colonialists gave to the indigenous people of Aotearoa
Aotearoa – Long white cloud (New Zealand)
Tipuna – ancestors
Waitangi – crying water (place in Aotearoa; where treaty was ‘signed’)

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The Cook Islands and Tangaroa

The colonialists have always told their stories through ethnocentric glasses. Their view has misshapen and distorted the beauty and history of Indigenous throughout the world. They have also slanted their version of events to tarnish the knowledge and capabilities of those they ‘conquered’.

The following is a beautiful depiction of The Cook Islands history and perspective.

As with our own stories in Aotearoa, I am left wondering, who were the actual ‘savages’?  Because all that is espoused here, makes perfect, beautiful, synchronistic sense in my world.

Reference: https://www.facebook.com/stormy.kara/