I learnt a long time ago that we all have hurdles in life…some are a little shittier than others…some are wrestled to the ground and stamped on pretty swiftly…some just seem to linger and take, like forever, to get a grip on. Whether it be physical, emotional, sexual, spiritual…we are all just roaming around trying to get a handle on our shit, one way or another.
During my very brief blogging experience, I have had the privilege of following and being followed (not in a stalker type way lol), some amazingly, deep, thoughtful, talented and extremely exquisite peeps. And I think my existence has definitely been enhanced, in the positive, by crossing paths with these peeps.
One such wonder, is Mr Not So Cold 🙂
In response to a few questions he’s thrown out there…the following unfolds.
What was the first concert you went to see?
“My first ‘concert’ was a UB40 concert…I was 17, maybe 18 I think…I had my daughter by then…I went with 2 old friends…and it rocked! I loved it…and I’d go again in a heartbeat (well after I’ve conquered the panic attack situation ;)). It’s on the new ‘to do’ list.”
What TV show are you embarrassed about watching?
“The only TV show I’m embarrassed about watching…but I don’t ever finish watching…Is a national soap opera thing…set in a hospital…bad acting…grrr…Shortland Street its called…I hate that thing. Embarrassed is possibly to nice a word for how I feel about that programme!”
What was your first car?
“My first car was a Vauxhall Viva…it was white…and a hunk of shit really. But I loved it! It was mine! I saved up my hard-earned dollars for it…went and paid cash for it, from this old dude that remodelled cars and sold them…and my first drive in it was…just bliss! That’s why I need to drive again…hmmm I might try to resurrect the Viva! Genius! :)”
Who was the first person who you cared more about their well-being than your own?
“The easy answer would be ‘everyone’. But I’ve learnt a lot over the years…about why peeps do what they do…how totally absorbed we can be in ourselves that we lose sight of the needs of those who are depending on us…that said though…The people that were my ‘dependables’, had issues…depression, suicide, more depression, addiction, low self-esteem, ptsd (undiagnosed) type issues. And those that should have been looking out for my interests, preyed on my vulnerability. I can count on 2 fingers…maybe…those who cared enough about me to ‘notice’ me. But even then…they were clouded in some way. That doesn’t really answer the question…but its a hard question. In short…it was everyone.”
* ok…edit! After re reading the question properly lol a very annoying habit of mine…skim reading…has got me again! But after such a heart felt deep and meaningful answer, how could I delete it 😊 … ah well. So to answer after reading the question properly. ..that’s easy…My daughter 😊 i had her when I had just turned 16…she changed my view on absolutely everything and became the reason I existed and wanted better…for her.
Who is someone from your past that you are sorry you lost track of?
“My friend who died of breast cancer…her family. But I recently found her daughter again…so that relationship has been rekindled…and I’m very grateful :)”
What was your first paying job?
“Besides babysitting…which I detested really…it was in a fruit and vegetable shop :)”
What is your best childhood memory?
“Going to work with my Grandad…concrete and nails and hammers and wood and music on the radio and tea out of a thermos and super wine biscuits and buildings and stair cases and songs and breakfast bacon and tomatoes and…my Grandad xx”
If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently?
“Hmmmm, I use to think I would do virtually everything differently, but if I do that, then I wouldn’t be here…but if I had to…I wish I would’ve punched ‘Wendy’ (childhood nemesis!) out instead of putting up with her bullshit 😉 she was such a troll lol”
What do you feel most proud of?
“Easy peasy one…My daughters! They are sublimely amazing! I am astounded nearly everyday that I produced 2 stunningly amazing individuals! I love them and all their flaws and talents and misgivings and uncertainities…they’re truly amazing human beings…the kind that will change lives…change the world ;)”
What are your top three favorite books and why?
“These are books, but I prefer the movies:
Silence of the Lambs
It’s what I love and am fascinated with…the criminal mind”
What is your strongest personal quality
“Hmmmm….I’m not sure…possibly my low tolerance for bullshit…I’m not to sure of the technical term for that…but its a skill…and a quality…one that’s generally taken the wrong way…but a quality non the less ;)”
So there you have it…just a few little things about Me…before, during and after Me and PTSD 🙂
Love and light and lots of good food and music…to you, from Me