Homai to Aroha
excitement versus nervousness.
apparently they’re opposite ends of the same spectrum.
the ‘causing nausea and anxiety’ spectrum that is.
its all fucking learning ay!
kpm © : ig @kpm-artist
i’ve had my tears … done my semi tribute .
avoided my blog, perused everyone elses .
and in true Me form, i’ve done abit of processing
& i’m pissed.
pissed that this area of my life has been effected by
i’m not happy at all.
you’re supposed to show up with some quick witted statement
& put Me in my place.
you’re supposed to say all the things
that people in my physical life are too scared to say to
you’re the voice of sound fucking reason.
you’re the smartass that combats my smartass.
now who the fuck is gonna do it
[I don’t get it. As selfish as it all may sound … How do you think that Me is supposed to mozy on around this place, and not be affected by your absence??]
[I get that everyone else misses you too … I completely get it … and its a credit to the human being that you are … that you managed to affect so many peeps … but right now … I’m just thinking about … ME.]
I’m not happy.
Not happy at all.
I’m pissed at you.
It sucks ass.
Sucks ass totally
and I’m pissed.
Pissed as fuck.
When I started working with Youth Justice, I was reasonably open-minded, I thought. And my language had always been ‘flavoursome’ to say the least. But I had never come across a place that used the word ‘cunt’ so flamboyantly. At first I thought it was severely distasteful…and I can hear the nods of agreement already, ‘it is distasteful; it’s a revolting word’. And while that is partially true, like the word ‘fuck’, there is an exuberance relating to the word that just seems to embody the spirit of its expulsion from ones lips.
Needless to say…I left Youth Justice with a new word added to my vocab-lyric repertoire ;) And now when the need arises, which it seems to do quite frequently lately, a punctuated ‘fuck you cunt’, is flung at its recipient. Which seems to bring quite a warm fuzzy feeling throughout my body.