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update on the hormone un-fuckery.

that last couple periods, i’ve been mapping them a bit closer than usual. since the confirmation of good old peri-menopause, i decided more than ever, that i needed to get a grip on this whole embracing the ‘womanhood’ thing.

i think the first time i was given pain meds for periods, i was about 13. it was the doctors opinion that i was being OTT & that kick ass pain killers would fix everything.

its kinda a crime, i reckon, that something as natural as menstruating, is diagnosed as an illness & an inconvenience, & is then ‘shut up’ or shut down. am i surprised really though? after all i’ve learnt over the years.

womanhood is despised instead of celebrated.

they forget that without that uterus of ours, there’d be no life.

anyway …

with a fine tooth comb, i went over all the ‘symptoms’ that are usually quite unbearable, related to perioding & menopause, cos for me they’re quite similar, just magnified.

i decided awhile ago to go with the natural route re ‘treating’ symptoms. which is a bit fucking hard really.

again … its a lot easier to just shut it down.

so, during these phases, i have the following things to manage: oh, as well as fucking (p)tsd!

  • sore tummy
  • sore boobs … like gonna from off your chest kinda sore!
  • itchy rashes, usually on the lower back
  • sore glands
  • itchy eyes & nose – similar to hayfever
  • cough
  • generally run down
  • gums bleed
  • dizzy
  • hot flushes
  • irritability (more than usual)
  • tearful
  • nauseous
  • achey body
  • headache
  • extreme vertigo
  • memory loss
  • sinus ache
  • panic attacks
  • increased general anxiety
  • sore throat
  • heavy bleeding / clotting
  • insomnia
  • increased sensitivity to light, smells & noise
  • shingles

yeah. thats about it in a nutshell.

so i trolled the symptoms & then the internet to find solutions.

i’m pretty gangstah like that.

& heres what i came up with:

  • remifemin –  helps calm the hot flushes & irritability & as a side effect, also lessens the anxiety.

  • magnesium sleep cream with lavender – helps lessen the anxiety & insomnia & has a cooling effect.

  • raspberry leaf tea – helps with the uterus & tummy cramps. i’ve been adding this to my ‘tea’ concoctions during period times

  • caraway seeds added to brown sugar & hot water for nausea & tummy cramps.

  • whilst trying to flush / detox my system, i’ve been using nettle tea added to oat straw (for anxiety), ginger (for vertigo), & sage (for mood). i’ve also added in half an iron tablet just before my period & stop them 3 days after i finish.

so, what’s the results for moi?

fucking awesome!

i was skeptical AF, as usual: but i pretty much had nothing to lose.

& i’m happy to report that all that shit above, the symptoms, were either completed alleviated & / or halved.

how fucking grateful am i????

hugely!!

& thats all i have to say about that ;)


kpm ©


 

reconciling.hormones.

the goddesses heard my plea.

and we’re steady … ish,

thank fuck!


kpm ©


 

reconciling.the.hormones.

Savethey’re a brewing


*please goddesses: go easy ay*


kpm ©


 

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[trying to] reconcile the hormones.

*note: its been a cunty day.

This morning we were greeted with the carpet cleaners.

This is why I don’t do carpet cleaners until I leave a house:

a. the chemicals completely mess with my head, nasal passages and feng shui.

b. the ensuing smell that lingers long after they’ve gone, also fucks with me feng shui.

c. the carpets are wet until they dry. no worries – i sit on the floor. i sleep on the floor. the floor is where i am happiest and where i don’t get dizzy.

And all my hormones could do for Me today is make Me cry like a fucking little bitch … over carpets ffs!


not my meme. thankyou to whoever compiled it. you described todays #feels.

regards.


kpm©


 

reconciling the hormones.

and we have happy hormones!


‘celebrating the little things’

:)


kpm ©


 

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reconciled.hormones.

So, the happy hormones are slowly settling into a nice little groove.

Ok, so ‘nice groove’ is an optimistic term; one that I hope will turn into a ‘actual reality’!

I’m kinda getting used to what is a hormonal fluctuation and what isn’t lol. And the best way to describe it, is it’s like being pregnant and having your period all at once.

I can cry at the drop of a hat, at not much in particular … and then be overwhelmed by rage the next second. My already broken ‘filter’ becomes even more of a menace and my thoughts can go from crystal clear to an absolute scrabbled egg!

So much Fun … *groan*

So aside from the emotions, the physical side of things means my waist line is getting lost (in reality its been kinda lost since the mid-2000s *extra groan*), the facial hair does whatever the fuck it wants, the boobs are heading south even more than they were, and my uterus feels like its crawling outta my vag every other day.

Awesome.

The only difficulty here, is discerning what is just ‘ageing’ and what is purely hormonal and will hopefully pass as 50 something comes and goes … farkkkssakes lol.

All in all though, I think I’m doing Ok. I know when to hit the floor and do a bit of yoga … I know when I need 2 ice packs instead of one, and I know when I should probably just have a nap instead of posting on facebook lol.

So this will be my last hormonal type post for awhile … if not forever.

I might update when the periods stop completely … Yuss!

Love and light to y’all my menstruating / menopausing peoples … Mwah!


Fin.


kpm ©


 

yep. the hormones.

Now these things have been a cunt of a thing to juggle lately … not sure if thats ‘normal’, as in the ebbs and flows … or if it’s just ‘my normal’ … fuck knows …

What I am discovering however, is by increasing iron supplements just before my period, seems to help with the process … and boosting the fuck outta my immune system (vit c etc) a week before my period and during, also seems to minimise the damage done to this shining example of biological womanhood ;)

The flushes seem to have dissipated quite abit, unless i’m tearing around like a blue ass fly, then they liberally kick my ass … solution to that has been sorta simple … I pace my shit over days, instead of hours! Clever ay … *eye ball roll*

The up shot, is (dare I say it), it’s becoming ‘manageable’ … more manageable, and bearable, than it was before!

So Yip-fucking-pie!! I’m stoked with that!


kpm ©


 

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fucking.hormones.

Well, today I’m an ’emotional’ write-off.

How do I know this?

This morning I burst into tears. Not at anything really … Just cos I did.

And then not more than half an hour later I wanted to smash my partners phone over his annoying head.

So, I’ve sent myself to my room and am going to put a ‘do not disturb’ sign on the door handle … Or better yet: ‘enter at thine own risk’.

Physicality wise … the boobs are beginning to ache like they have a fucking headache … and my head is actually aching. I can feel my uterus trying to escape and my pelvic floor muscles are having a spaz all on their own.

Oh Joy.


 


kpm ©


 

reconcile the hormones?

Hmmm little bastards …

They’re up and down and all over the fucking place at the moment. Feels like a really long rollercoaster ride that promises an end, but so far we haven’t gotten to it …

And I moan my ass off on days like yesterday and today … but really, in comparison to a few months ago, I’m getting a handle on my shizz … slowly … ever so slowly … but the point being … I am getting a handle on it ;)

I’m bracing myself for the next period round, which always bring an added touch of excitement to my life …’said No Woman Ever’ …

I started taking iron tablets a couple weeks ago, just cos, I felt like I needed it … it’s taken that long to get used to them but I can feel a slow steady increase in energy levels and less funky-ness, which is cool. Don’t worry, I aint counting my chickies beofre they hatch … but it is a trial and era sort of thing.

And since I’m mapping my cycles alot closer, I’ve decided to up my doses of Vitamin C a week before my period just to see if it helps with the headaches, dizzyness and generalised unwell feeling I get throughout.

Oh well, fingers crossed ay!


kpm ©


 

reconciling the hormones.

So I’m sort of back to the beginning, or there abouts, with these dam things. It’s an angst-tation cross between being a dissociative retard and actually having something physical going on.

What the fuck does that mean?

Well I’ve griped about this before, but as time ticks on, I can see a pattern emerging …

I’ve spent a life time NOT feeling shit. Not just emotion, but the physical feeling that goes with emotion. Yes, it seems as if theres a physical feeling associated with emotion. Just as there is a physical ‘feeling’ associated with being hungry, tired or in pain.

But did you know, that all the aforementioned ‘issues’ ‘feel’ very very similar and to fuck it up even more, they also ‘feel’ like hormonal fuckery and anxiety / panic fucks.

Yes, thats right, for Me, they all feel extremely similar.

So … what does one do when one feels one or all of these things happening or coming on?

  1. Hit the ground and breath deep
  2. Take a small amount of sedative
  3. Drink water
  4. Consult with stomach
  5. Try and eat something
  6. Take a pain killer
  7. Ice pack
  8. Peppermint essential oil
  9. Breath deeper
  10. Calming music
  11. Re check that I have eaten enough, drank enough.
  12. Re check and start at the beginning again until it (the panic fuck feeling and dizziness) subsides.

This has been Me on and off for the past couple days and feeling pretty over it. It’s kinda scary, so much so I may even go to the doctors arrghh.

Staying positive, whatever the fuck that means though.

Ok … trying to stay gangstah ;)

Love and light xo


kpm ©


 

hormones.

Arrggghhh.

Thats all I have to say about that.

Oh okay, I shall expand.

Said hormones, be kicking my ass at the moment; and my-eth ass is laid up feeling sorry for itself.

There yah go :)


kpm ©


 

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reconciling the hormones.argh.

Soooo, the hormones ay … this is the current status of those puppies …

They are producing mind-boggling, skin inflamed rashes.

Now these aren’t ‘abnormal’ for Me … and I’ve had eczema for years on and off … thanks to my ultra sensitive skin. But this lot is wildly irritating and hair pullingly annoying. Made even more annoying by my decrease in antihistamines … which by the way, I only take when I absolutely have too … and yes, this was one such occasion.

The rashes seem to come with hot flushes and thank fuck the hot flushes seem to be subsiding, possibly due to the weather being a little cooler … not sure really.

I’m basically winging the hormone thing … still haven’t been to the doctors, cos captain obvious is bound to just state the obvious … ‘You possibly in peri-menopause and we can give you *such and such* drugs and hormones …’. Yeah, not doing that so I’ll save myself $40 and just roll with Aunty Google and natural remedies.

Which reminds Me, a friend has suggested Peppermint Essential Oil for the hot flushes … apparently it helps with the cooling down thing … so I’m gonna try that next week.

The panic attacks and anxiety are slowly subsiding which makes Me pretty certain that they are effected by hormone fuckery.

Oh the joy.

Seriously though, I am pleased I’m slowly piecing things together and am able to try ‘new’ natural things.

It all feels like progress and transition … oh and it’s definitely helped embracing it instead of dreading it.

xo


kpm ©


 

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me & the hormones.

Ok.

So, apparently no biological woman has died from / during Menopause.

But …

Do we know if any partner of a menopausal woman, has been greviously harmed / killed during the course of them saying something extremely stupid to said menopausal woman?

*asking for a friend*


kpm ©


 

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the hormones.

Hmmm what to say about the blessed hormones at the moment ??

Well …

  1. I’m due for my period according to my trusty calendar
  2. However, due to the fact that my memory is a shit collective at present, it is quite likely that I’ve entered the wrong ‘finish’ date and thus the wrong ‘start’ date has popped up.
  3. Yes. Thats what I’ve done forever, to map my little periodical hormones / symptoms etc etc.
  4. So boobs are starting to ache and that is a sure sign of impending period-ness.
  5. I’m shitty as fuck … but that could be period or meno-pausical symptoms ;)
  6. My ears keep popping, and the vertigo is off the charts at the mo.

Ahhh, so thats what I was going to ramble about, was the vertigo situation.

It gets worse around pre-period time even though the blessed doctor says my hormones have nothing to do with the vertigo situation; I think he’s all cack … and having never had a period himself, how the fuck is he supposed to tell Me that I am wrong … Pfft.

So, menopause wise … it kinda go-figures that if my normal is vertigoy at period time, then it would do the same at menopausal time .. Right?

Right.

So working on this theory … and having spent the last 2 days flat on my back (for a lot of the day anyways) or in some lotusy type position on the floor … the dizzy, vertigo feeling should pass within the next few days and return on the odd occasion just like a hot flush … hmmm

Right?

Right.

But just to throw a spanner in my theoretical works, I’ve realised that with the lessening of cigarettes, I am thusly coughing up some amazing looking gunk and my sinuses are doing some freaking shit which throws out my physical balance aka more fucking vertigo …. sooooo …

It could also be plausible that when all nicotine and other such shit is outta my system … and my sinuses and lungs have thusly adjusted … and my natural feng shui has returned to that of a 11 year old (when I started smoking … ), I could be feeling abit more balanced???

Right?

Right.

Well fucking hope so …

So, until I figure out abit more … Cheers to all biological women and their biological-ness ;) Yous have my sympathies and undying admiration!


kpm ©


 

hormones. argh.

Random update of the fluctuating hormones:

  • today they’re kicking my ass
  • literally
  • in a nice iced lotus position
  • sucking in deep breathes
  • wondering when the fuck womanhood will be ‘fun’
  • dizzy as fuck
  • oh, did i mention, dizzy, like vertigo – dizzy as all Fuck
  • so, all the wonderful cleaning things that i need to do
  • yes, need … because we have a house inspection apopo (tomorrow)
  • yeah, well those bitches aren’t getting done whilst i’m sitting lotus style with ear plugs in, rocking backwards and forwards and trying to find my feng fucking shui
  • hormones … fuck y’all

kpm ©


 

the hormones: update.

A slightly topsy turvey week on the hormonal front … but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. It just means I can’t go as fast or as full on as I’d like too … it means I need to take regular ‘breaks’ (sounds ironic) from doing what I’m doing … and breath! The ice packs are helping and the weather cooling is also helping! Actually had a day there where I didn’t have one hot flush … Yah!

My insides are in constant pain, but thats nothing new, so has been a little hard to differentiate between whats just a ‘Me-ism’ and whats menopause … but like the rest of it … I’ll get it eventually ;)

The emotional balance, or imbalance – if theres actually such a thing *insert eye ball roll*, has been a little better .. or I’m just embracing it better. I burst into tears at what I would usually call stupid ass shit … and then other stuff makes Me want to start a riot! But I won’t because that’d bring on one kick ass hot flush lol (I know, because I tried ;) )

I’m still disturbed by the reference to menopause being a ‘womans disease’; it’s been referred to as this in a few conversations this week. I get that its one hell of a pain in the ass and vag and everywhere else, for us biological women … but a disease??? I don’t think so.

That’s another script to flip ;)

 


kpm ©


 

to reconcile the hormones?

Hmmm what can I say about the hormones this week? They’re fuckers … and I’m having a hard time appreciating them, even though I said (in one of those fits of “oh, this sounds like a good idea” moments) I wanted to embrace the ‘end of an era of womanhood’. Yeah, turns out this ‘ending’ could be going on for like 10 years or so … fuck it.

Anywho … it is what it is … I’m still plucking, cramping, flushing (although these are calming thanks to the drop in temperature around these parts .. thank fuck), sweating, teary, dizzy, anxious, generally lethargic with random fits of rage!. I feel like Garfield … remember him? But more violent.

All I can say this week is: womanhood sucks ass.

 


kpm ©


 

the changes: hormones & shit.

So far this week theres been:

ALOT of dizzy.

ALOT of headachey

A SMIDGE of cramping.

A CLUSTER FUCK of menstrual starting and stopping … Wtf is that about?

A FUCKLOAD of anxiety.

Topped off with a huge over serving of PANIC FUCKS … like 1 – 2 per day.

As disassociated as I am, I was still attempting to discern the difference between menopause, menstruation, being a biological fucking woman, stress, pts(d), ‘normal’ anxiety and panic fuck.

Then in amongst it all somewhere I did the ‘Fuck It’, it’s all fucked, lets just medicate that shit and get on with it … Then thought better of it … side effects and all … and just sedated my ass for the night, got a good sleep and am thinking slightly clearer today.

It’s Menopause Bitch.

It’s fucking pts(d) Bitch.

It just is what it is.

If you fucking die from it, so be it. But chances are (going from your history to date), you won’t die from it: it’ll linger on for quite a while longer and torture the shit out of you.

Then you’ll get up. Dust said shit off. Flip the bird at it and at all biological Men for just being Men … And go terrorise something or someone else :)

 


kpm ©