the season for it …

Man issues, that is.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand all men aren’t ignorami, but appears to me at the moment, there are no holds barred on the amount of ignorance I am experiencing by said Men.

Yesterday was the partner … and that continues, unspoken about, today. As usual. And I know it’ll pass eventually, when he gets his fix of ‘man-dom’.

And then there is the Father … again.

He has recently returned to the country he’s been residing in for the past 30 odd years. No, I didn’t see him. He left in a tizzy, and thats too bad really.

Well, we spoke the other day.

Another long convoluted ‘discussion’ about ‘the land’.

After reflection re not saying what I actually wanted too … I decided to ‘gently’ (well, as gently as I am capable of) let him know where I stood … again.

He wants to set up a Land Trust, with all owners of the land he intends to build on. Why? Because a. He needs permission to do so. b. The Maori Land Court has ‘advised’ this is what is needed.

Now my Father and I have walked two very different paths in life.

His, in a nutshell, has been to run away from all things Indigenous (Maori); deny all things Indigenous; belittle all things Indigenous. He still believes the Crown (government) has his (and our) best interests at heart and we should believe everything they espouse. There’s reasons for this obviously, but again, thats another post.

My path: As a part Indigenous brown girl; and a non-looking white girl – I’ve had to make peace (still making peace actually) with both sides of my heritage. I have a unique way of doing that, and at the moment, it works for Me. In making peace though, I did a lot of study on Indigenous history and the colonisation of our land, people and culture … What that has meant for Us and where and how we deal with that … ‘moving forward’ (another post for another day).

So, in a nutshell … I don’t do Crown initiatives, or Crown ‘suggestions’ … I definitely don’t follow any format they suggest without researching the living shit out of it first. Because it has always, and I mean always, been to Indigenous detriment, to adhere to their recommendations.

I’ve tried to tell my Father this, on a number of occasions. I’ve also said that if he doesn’t share my beliefs, thats fine … but under no circumstances will I be joining any kind of Trust, Family or Land, and I won’t be a trustee. Why? Because why do We, the Indigenous; the owners of our own land, need to form some type of structure to govern or manoeuvre what we do with that land? Why are only the Indigenous, Us, advised to form a Land Trust to deal with our land?

The short answer, is apparently: Because We can’t get along and can’t organise ourselves.

For Me, this screams all kinds of fuckery. You see, We, the Indigenous, managed to organise ourselves well enough to defeat every colonial onslaught that invaded this country for land and lives. Every single time we defeated them. The colonial assholes ‘won’ in the end by sheer numbers which they’d borrowed from their home country and the other countries they had colonised. As our number depleted, they replenished theirs. Oh, and not to mention, our numbers had depleted horrendously from the diseases they brought with them that we were not immune too. Again, another post, another day.

Anywho … These are reasons I won’t partake in Crown initiatives, and I am also not interested in their money. When the family form this Trust, they will be entitled to rather hefty government ‘grants’. What they haven’t taken into consideration, is that those hefty grants come with hefty ‘fine print’. Usually, again, to the detriment of Us. So while the short term gain of the almighty dollar seems Ok, the long term loss, is not worth it, in my opinion. Also … my question is always: Why do we need their money? Apparently I am being naive. I believe they are being stupid.

My Father doesn’t get any of this. And at this stage of the game, I’m not asking him too. Just to respect that thats how I see it. I’ve also told him that I’ll support him as best I can … but it won’t be how he imagines it.

So, after dropping this little slash large morsel on him – he gets off the phone … And collapses, hits his head and is unconscious.

His wife rang yesterday and says that his blood pressure is low and his heart is playing up again and is back in hospital.


Do I feel sympathy? No.

Do I feel guilt? No.

Am I an awful bitch? Probs.

And this is the result of ‘saying what I mean’. Hmmm.



#orangetheworld #day13

#orangetheworld to end #VAW and girls! #16DaysOfActivism #day13 “Alberta First Nation women hold rally after another sex assault charge laid against chief”

Source: #orangetheworld #day13


The Crown ‘apologises’ …

I found this in my News Feed last night …’s-land

This was my response:

So the Crown gave it ALL back did they?? !!
Heres the thing. I taught my kids to not take (steal) what doesn’t belong to them. Whether that be property or mana. Apologizing is one thing, compensation is another (and by my calculations 100 mil is chump change), but that’s not where it should be left. 30 years its taken to sort the fine print and by wearing a niggah down they were able to make a bad deal look good.
Not to mention the blatant obviousness of the whole thing … When you steal something, you give it back! Otherwise your apology and compensation is all shit!!! And apart from an apology what punishment is there for stealing and then keeping that stolen item for 150 years??
I mean, in the history of The English judicial system, has any thief admitted to theft and after being ordered to apologise and compensate for damages, they aren’t penalized and allowed to keep the item they stole???!!!!
Sorry, its not right and never will be. What are you supposed to teach your kids with a straight face and clear conscience? That youll be fucked up the ass when your too tired to fight or when the price is right??? Fucks sakes …

Not a very polite response, and one my family is ‘actively ignoring’ at present. This is one of my Iwi. I didn’t sign the ‘Treaty’ deal update as I believe it to be a crock of shit. No, I don’t trust the Crown or any apology or compensation they give. They have never done right by tangata whenua and I don’t believe they have started now.

This shit is the shit that fucks me off!!!


a c t i v i s m ~ #StandWithStandingRock.

a c t i v i s m ~ #StandWithStandingRock.

k p m ©

OMG arrested for trespassing??? My heart aches … trespassing on their own land!

Kia Kaha my brothers and sisters xoxo
We, the Indigenous, are standing with you ❤


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Well the movie is definitely not like the book I grew up with as a kid! But hell, I wish the ending was the same for all Indigenous continents … where we and the animals kicked some white pompous ass all the way back to their own colonies!!! Made my heart smile 🙂


to the ‘woefully ignorant’, response ;)

And this Hawaiian woman – we’d call her Mana Wahine here (loose meaning: strong woman) – well, she just warms my heart and has made it onto my top ten awesome women list! 😉

an interesting indigenous perspective…

Dam good article and an indigenous perspective of ‘mental illness’ … and for the most part it is a theory I agree with. Possibly not as ‘touchy feely’ 😉


doctor and dickheads and dealing with it : my way

So, awhile ago, I had a huge rant/vent re: ACC and my doctor … amongst other rants lol …

And I’ve been brewing on the ‘where to now’ bullshit.

And Nan did always say there was more than one way to skin a cat .. she just didn’t tell me how .. but, I think that was her way of getting us to ‘think outside the box’ … come up with alternative solutions.

In keeping with this whole thought train …

I was at a Hui (meeting/gathering) a few years ago … one of those ‘this is going to change the way I think’ sort of gatherings.

The jist of it all was how best to respond to The Crown in relation to all their past, current and continued breaches of Te Tiriti O Waitangi and the Indigenous in Aotearoa (New Zealand). Te Tiriti O Waitangi is our founding document in New Zealand … It’s why any and all immigrant / European peoples were able to settle here. It was also supposed to be a partnership between The Crown and the Indigenous, to enable them to reside here, and us to retain autonomy. The Crowns first breach came within months of signing and we, Tangata Whenua (indigenous/people of the land), have been talking, debating, strategizing, fighting … ever since. Each generation has done their piece … added to the history of reconciliation, reparation, justice and moving on. The Crown however, jumped from the discussions straight to the ‘moving on’ bit … and their idea of moving on entails the Indigenous shutting their mouths and getting on with being imprisoned, living in an impoverished state … generally being at the bottom of the barrel.

Anyway, at this Hui it was discussed that we had done and tried virtually everything short of revolution by violence. And while there were many that still thought this to be the only option; there was another voice that got heard that day. An old guy .. who’d obviously lived a long, enlightened life.

He started talking about the way we had always done things … the things we had done so far. That we, too, were skipping a step. He believed that our tipuna (ancestors) had carried an enormous amount of grief over the rape and pillage that had been done to us as a people and the land, that we were entrusted to care for.

He believed we had already done everything that we needed to, in response to the Crowns breaches and continued atrocities. And that the issue or the problem, didn’t lie with Us.

He said … that the issue was who we were dealing with; their lack of mana (dignity); that they continuously move the goal posts, because that is their nature. They had and have no intention of being honourable and trustworthy. Of doing the right thing. We gave them the benefit of the doubt and it cost us generations of lives and livelihood. But history should tell US that their core intentions have never changed. Colonisation was always their intention, not partnership.

None of this was said in malice, which I thought was astonishing. But in closing he said, well asked … what are we going to do differently?

By that he meant, we had tried it The Crowns way … we had let them define the boundaries in which we respond. That we needed to stop doing that and find a way to respond that is ON OUR TERMS and is in the best interests of US.

So when we marched to Parliament, this time, we did it in silence, with the intention of taking our tipunas maemae (grief) and laying it where it belonged … returning it to the abusers so to speak . Along with legislation that has been breached since 1840.

This was the last land march/protest I did. It was most profound and extremely hard to explain. We could feel the weight of sadness move with us; what should have taken about 20 minutes to walk, took close to 2 hours. But it didn’t feel like it. Everything went quiet … and we were in the city … all the traffic went silent; even the birds went silent. All you could hear was us walking. And the gentle weeping from the old people who were with us.

And while the mainstream media down played the whole thing, as they do .. It was one of the most memorable and life changing land marches I’ve ever done. Because our intention was different than other times. We got to respond as we needed to, not how They wanted us too.

So, in light of this … I realised that my venting or responding to ACC / the Doctor, has always been within their guidelines … by their rules. And I am getting nowhere fast! Because that is how they do things. They aren’t interested in my well-being, they are interested in only themselves. In remembering this … I can put together my response, my way. To benefit me.

So, I am currently writing up 2 ‘complaints’ … or list of breaches; by ACC and the Doctor. When I am done, these will go to this website:

  1. Because I need to vent
  2. I need to be heard
  3. I need the information recorded

Thereafter, I gather up my forms from the Doctor, as they are. I take them to another doctor and have the bastards filled in … as per ACC requirement.

When I’ve done that, I make copies of all of it and send off the partially filled in forms and the new ones, to ACC.

The doctor won’t look good; the date stamp on the first form will get me back paid till then and ACC can review the shit out both sets of forms! Nan was right: there is more than one way to skin a cat 😉

And then, for now, I will let it go.

I don’t want to spend all my precious, sometimes rather depleted, time and energy on those assholes.

I want to enjoy the sunshine and wind; stack wood; write my blog; listen to beautiful music … and when my ass is not so broken …. DANCE 🙂



365 reasons to smile ~ 132.

132. Weird I know, but I had to grin at the irony of it all! We have a version of these types of idiots in our country … unfortunately, they’re trying to run the country! [big eye roll; half grin; then grimace followed by a shake of the head!]



change has got to come…

Bit of a sore subject, and one I’ve looked at through out my blog; as it pertains to me.

But you can’t live in a country as an Indigenous Person and not learn your history – the real history. Not the history as taught by the (alleged) conqueror, but the real history, as carried by your ancestors …

When I studied, I avoided all topics about my history to begin with. Avoided, mainly because it was painful and I didn’t know what to do with it back then. When I did start looking at it, I took a Te Tiriti O Waitangi paper. As I opened the first book I was greeted with a list of Crown breaches, or legislation, as they call it; dating back to a month or two after Te Tiriti O Waitangi was signed in 1840. The Crowns real motive for signing this Treaty became apparent within those first few legislations. It wasn’t about partnership as they had declared before signing … it was about control, domination and greed.

They set about dissecting, alienating and suppressing the Indigenous and they continue to do so. This is not a new thing and can be seen throughout the colonies … the effects that their colonisation has had on all Indigenous People.


They ‘banned’ our language; our health resources and the right to practice our own health rituals; they alienated us from our land and changed legislation to legalise the ‘removal’ of that land from us permanently.

Generations thereafter this typical colonisation process;  the effects are still being felt. We had a resurgence on the Protest front in the early 1970s and this ‘activism’ continues today.

With the recent TPPA signing though, it is doubtful that the right to protest will look the same as it did 2, 5, 10 and even 20 years ago.

But that doesn’t mean that it won’t continue.


It is my hope that as I continue to share the information that I have learnt over the years, in this arena and others; a tiny bit of the cognitive dissonance that is felt within this country daily, when discussing ‘race relations’ and the like; will finally change!