me & my music memories

You, know, I thought I’d already covered music. But apparently not. So here it is, my explanation (of sorts), of my love … affinity … gravitation … toward and with music.

I’m not a genre buff per se. If I had to pick one it would have to be R&B … which is pretty wide.

But my love of music probably happened before I was even birthed lol. My Nan would sing to Me when I was little, and I actually remember some of those songs :)

Her and I would watch old movies with Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds …  She also loved classical and operatic music. My Nan is where my love of Dance was nurtured <3

As I got older I was more influenced by Christian / Pentecostal ‘worship’ music, but absolutely loved Black Gospel. Theres nothing quite like the old Gospel.

My mother was / is a musician and still plays the guitar. When I was growing up I remember her music and her guitaring. She’d listen to ‘folk’ type music, like Peter, Paul and Mary … Simon and Garfunkel. Now whilst that wasn’t exactly my favourite, I guess it influenced what I was drawn too.

Because we were raised ‘Christian’, we weren’t allowed to listen to what was deemed ‘mainstream’ music. That didn’t stop Me, obviously, and made the listening to the ‘forbidden’ that much sweeter.

I’d find old cassette tapes and tape the songs that would come on the radio, as quickly as I could, before my mother got out of the shower, or returned from the supermarket lol. I kept those tapes tucked away and would listen to them when my mother was out or we went to my Grandparents. I was influenced by your mainstream ‘pop’ at the time, (the 80s), and because I was a dancer, that type of music also influenced my overall love of music.

Another great music memory for Me, is my Grandfather. I’d go to work with him when I was at their house for the holidays. This is something I absolutely loved. It is one of the few memories that I’ve clung on to over the years. It’s where my love for building and concrete and making things, comes from. And during these ‘work sessions’ with my Grandfather, he’d listen to the local radio station. I got to hear all the new songs and radio being what it is, they’d play the songs over and over, which meant I got to learn all the words :)

By the time my first daughter was born, I’d sing to her. It’s also one of the best memories I have of an extremely stressful, sad time – holding her, and rocking her and singing her to sleep.

I did the same when my second baby girl was born too, and she had the same reaction. She’d go all limp and relaxed, look at Me as I’d sing to her; smile and then go to sleep :)

And as the years went on, I was influenced by Country and Western, Heavy Metal, Rock, Jazz, Soul, Blues, Hip Hop, Underground, Thrash, D&B, House, Dub, Reggae, Ska … the list goes on. The first 2 were never my favourite genres but they still added to my ‘taste’.

I guess music has always been with Me.

It eases Me in ways I can’t explain. It helps Me to vent, focus, re focus … and as I’ve moved throughout the years, I’ve figured out what ‘does it for Me’. I’m drawn to the eerie minor keys and tones and those come in all genres. I’m not particularly drawn to lyrics as is the ‘norm’; but instead am drawn to ‘the feel’ or the ‘atmosphere’ that a piece of music gives.

It’s not something I could live without I don’t think. Although I have sensitive little ears lol, I think of all the ‘disabilities’ I wouldn’t want … the loss of hearing would be the hardest.

For Me, music holds some of my best memories I’ve got <3





my grandad.

me and my grandfather <3

me and my grandfather.

The most important Man in my life.

My Grandfather is my Father and Grandfather all rolled into one. I knew he loved Me. Not by what he said, but by how he acted. And for Me that has always been more important than words. His actions toward Me always spoke volumes, even when I wasn’t really aware of it; or became aware of it, after the fact.

It’s been … a long while … since he passed … and I miss him ferociously … every day.

But I am grateful … forever grateful … that this mans influence has been my ‘measuring stick’ of what protection and love look like. I am forever grateful for the love he gave me and the lessons he taught.

From this beautiful man came my love of building … concrete … music … Italian cuisine … poppies … bacon and eggs and fried tomatoes in the morning … structure … cup of tea and super wine biscuit breaks (very important when your a builder ;) ) … vegetable gardens … good tools …

I think he influenced nearly every good aspect of my life.

He always wanted me to go to University and study politics and eventually go into government. I never really understood his reasoning … as he never really gave reasons. In later years I understood that he wanted us to change the system from the inside out. He didn’t believe in War; as he had fought in WW2 … and I’m pretty sure the effects of that were embedded in his being. He barely talked about it, and when he did, he’d talk about ammunitions and that they shouldn’t be made … and as long as they were made, there’d always be War.

But instead I went University and did Criminology; and in his last hours with us, he told me he was proud of me. It made me cry. That even in that moment, as he could barely breathe; he thought to tell me he was proud of me.

And that was the kind of man he was.

I love you Grandad … and miss you every day … thankyou for everything you were and thankyou for your constant presence with Me.

I hope I continue to make you proud :)

kpm ©