well that was a shit sleep …

Not that it wasn’t a ‘lights out’ sleep … cos sedatives will do that to yah! But what I realised this morning was I was as tense as fuck. My muscles, or lack of them, were tight, like I’d been for a 5 mile hike, up-hill, non-stop. Not that I actually know what that feels…

breakfast:

i’m still here lol. i’m feeling happily contented, and it’s still raining :) starting to feel slightly tired, thank fuck. i think my breakfast may have something to do with that … i was surprised i made it with burning the shit out of it. what are the chunky things i hear you ask? more…

so, here I am … still:

it is now 7.08am … good lord lol. i am currently on Michael Jacksons “Off The Wall”, and have about another 20 albums to wade through. strangely enough, i’m enjoying my semi tired, leaning more toward the over-insomniated, meanderings … i’m thinking coffee and a possible walk before the rest of this stuck up small…

so, here i am ..

3.16 am. over a half a sedative later, and I’m still awake. Decided not to fight it, so got up to finish cleaning my vinyl collection. Yep, still at it. I’m onto George Benson <3 I’m feeling aight … not frustrated, which is good. I know I’ve got to keep doing exactly want I need…

ptsd treatment…this thing of ours

We have an uneven relationship I’ve felt safe in your haze Its been years Of dependence Dreamless nights But I’ve slowly pulled away Waited longer and longer To take in a little bit less of you This thing of ours It’s nearly over First Published on: Jun 10, 2015 @ 18:50 :)

another insomni-atic night…

Yes, its one of those nights, when all the relaxation before bed, all the ‘quiet moments’, get completely fucked up and here I am at nearly 3am, deep breathing with my EmWave breathe pacer and listening to Allen Stone…Is this love that I’m feeling…over and over. Shit is deeply fucked up. I am trying to…

father and ACC

So, do you want the good news or the bad news first … …. dunno why we say that … theres just news really, neither good nor bad … any who … So? Ok, bad it is … Apparently; according to a rather untimely snail mail letter today, from the almighty ACC … I am…