not twittering twitter

I’m thinking I may finish up my twittering … it’s not really my jam. I remember Johanna saying she couldn’t do twitter, mainly because she didn’t like being confined to 140 characters. And I think I’m beginning to agree with her!

I’m a bit of a long talker / explainer, when I get going … and I like the freedom to express myself in a variety of expletives, if necessary.

But when the little twitter troll pops up after I hit ‘tweet’, and it tells Me I need to be more clever-er with my words so I can fit what I’m saying into the provided, 140 … I get pissed!!

I’m not good with being told what I can and can’t do lol.

And what I have discovered, is peeps tend to be quite nasty – not all of them of course – but I think some may have misled themselves into believing that ‘nasty’ and clipped, is the same as clever and ‘direct’.

It’s not.

But all this got Me thinking about reducing my social media thing-a-me-whats-its. I like Instagram and it’s awesome for my art. I love Blogging … I get to be as short or lengthy as I like. And Facebook … well, its Facebook. No explanation needed really … It’s not great … It’s not Bad.

Kinda like my hairdo at the moment.

I’ve been toying with the idea of combining both my blogs. I separated them to begin with because I couldn’t juggle the 2 threads of art / photography with being pts(d) ridden. What I’ve come to realise, is that they are one in the same thing.

They’re both Me, and I need them both. Thats what reconciliation is about ๐Ÿ˜‰

So, there may be a few changes round here over the next few months … don’t worry though … I’ll still be gangstah ๐Ÿ˜‰


Transsexuals, Sex Reassignment Surgeries & Prostitution In Barcelona โ€” Edge of Humanity Magazine

Photographer Paola de Grenet is the Edge of Humanity Magazine contributor of this social documentary photography. From her project โ€˜Life as a Transsexualโ€˜. To see Paolaโ€™s body of work click on any image. Barcelona is a liberal city with a vast community of gays, travesties and transsexuals. It is aย [โ€ฆ]

via Transsexuals, Sex Reassignment Surgeries & Prostitution In Barcelona โ€” Edge of Humanity Magazine

man time

Thanks to some old friend of the partners, he’s been off watching rugby today. I could almost smell the testosterone seeping from his pores as he left this morning with his beersies packed in the chilly bin and a comfy chair to sit in during the 40 minute each way, game lol.

Couldn’t think of anything more boring … except maybe dinner with the in-laws …

But this is long over-due for the partner. He’s been in need of ‘man-time’ for ages; I’m hoping he’ll return a bit less of cunt than he has been for the past few weeks.

Not sure why or how … I don’t really understand men very well. But he gets this irksome thing happening, where he just looks like he wants to wrestle someone to the ground and roll around in the mud with them. I’m never keen.

Whatever it is … it seems to be quenched with his man friends, beersies and Rugby arrrghhh lol.

Hallelujah ๐Ÿ˜‰


I am Not yo’ Nee-gro … no, sir, I aint ;)

Know Your Baldwin …

I love the Response Process … Solid!

From YouTube:

Published on Mar 13, 2017

Janelle Monรกe, Samuel L. Jackson, Chris Rock, Lupita Nyong’o and these other celebrities want you to know that theyโ€™re not your negro โ€” and that you should know your James Baldwin.

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oh yeah …

I Like My Friends.

They’re Gangstah ๐Ÿ™‚



i met god

I love this Poem!
An amazing Poet! For more go to “The Freedom Of – Drunk Conversations and My Boring Life”.

Comments are turned off here. To comment please go to the original post. Cheers.

The Freedom Of

i met god and She was black,
as black as the lies on Her lips
the music. the lullaby.
the song She sings at us.

i met god and She was blacker
than the thoughts,
the ones that make my knuckles bleed,
the ones that feed the demons
behind my muscles.

i met god in the middle of
an empty parking lot.
i was sitting in my car
and She fucked me.

She tasted like the sea
like the salt-black pool
that sits in my stomach
and bleeds out my pores.
She smelled like me.

i met god and Her
movements were selfish.
She was brief, She was gone
i was left naked, cold
with no answers told,
no direction.

i met god and She fucked me black.
i met god and She fucked me.


โ€œi met godโ€

ยฉSteven Cuenca

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I did it … I did it …

Feeling bit like Dora the bloody Explorer … except for the ‘We’ did it part, is ‘I’ did it!

Here goes … bullet points again, cos I’m tired, but ecstatic, but tired – and bullet points just work beautifully for Me ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I decided I’d go to my appointment with the psychologist today.
  • I decided I’d do the blood test.
  • I was ready, with all my bits and pieces.
  • I got up early.
  • Got my shit together early.
  • Actually enjoyed that process.
  • I sat in the front seat ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • We got to town early.
  • We went through who knows how many sets of lights.
  • I didn’t freak out!
  • I gathered all necessary bits to deal with blood taking.
  • I made sure I pee’d before blood being drawn!
  • Live and learn.
  • I asked for the small needle.
  • I told the nurse I was nervous.
  • I requested the partner come in with Me.
  • I told him to be quiet.
  • He wasn’t being helpful.
  • He looked hurt.
  • But he survived.
  • And I survived!

post jab!

  • That sorted.
  • I filled up the anxiety and oozy feeling with these:

sweet crunchy nectar of the gods!

  • We made our way to my daughters job.
  • I was excited ๐Ÿ™‚
  • The traffic lights freaked Me once …
  • And I breathed!
  • And I survived.
  • At the cafe, it was way more packed than expected.
  • I had a momentary wave of …. F U C K, and then I spotted my girl ๐Ÿ™‚

my beautiful girl โค

  • And all was alright with the world ๐Ÿ™‚
  • I was so proud of her.
  • And proud of Me for being there.
  • Some parents want their kids to be lawyers or doctors or politicians … but I want my kids to follow their dreams and be happy in their worlds.
  • See that smile?
  • I had a Mummy moment and almost cried ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • She made Me the best coffee Ever!

best caffe mocha Ever ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • We stayed for over an hour … Yuss!!
  • I so miss going to cafes!
  • I even talked to a stranger!
  • There was a surprise ‘encounter’ with the MIL!
  • A wave of anxiety.
  • Then back to myself.
  • She was her usual.
  • She took offence to most of what I said.
  • I didn’t care ๐Ÿ™‚
  • I continued to enjoy my coffee!! Yuss!
  • Then it was on to the psychologist.
  • I had my list.
  • We went through my list.
  • I can go see her again regularly.
  • We’ll do more EMDR.
  • And try a few other nifty things she has at her disposal re driving and lessening anxiety.
  • I decided to wait till after the next assessment to start this.
  • She’s good with that.
  • The partner arrived late to pick Me up.
  • This would usually freak my shit out.
  • I played my music and sang instead ๐Ÿ™‚
  • He came.
  • And I was alright!
  • I survived.
  • He survived!

we survived ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • On to picking up the airport twat.
  • I had ear muffs packed.
  • I didn’t need them!
  • She was offended that I didn’t want to sit in the front seat with her in the car.
  • She was offended that I wouldn’t tell her why.
  • I didn’t care ๐Ÿ™‚
  • And I was alright!
  • And so was She!
  • And so was the partner ๐Ÿ˜‰
  • And we left … we went through multiple traffic lights, with multiple stops and multiple noises.
  • And guess what?
  • Yes … I survived!!
  • And I actually enjoyed most of it!
  • And I am so fucking proud of Myself right now!!

so yeah … I left YouTube going …

While I was doing my ‘distraction’ cleaning … ย *Done, so I don’t overly stress on the possibilities that tomorrows shizz may bring – Yes; I decided to go to my psychologist appointment – and Yes; I have informed the partner that if the airport twat talks to much I will be *shushing* her ๐Ÿ˜‰ ย …. I let YouTube play through, and somehow ended up at Christmas songs … I know right!

But as the songs below were playing through, I had a couple dozen thoughts – As I Do.

  1. I wonder if they asked any Africans to input into these?
  2. There were a couple (literally) black faces in the 1984 ensemble. Why? I know there were plenty beautiful black singers around in 1984.
  3. I’m not sure whether Africa (the starving part anyway) really gave a fuck about Christmas time.
  4. Was this part of the point of these songs? The irony? Singing to the rich white folks so they’d feel sympathetic and open up their Christmas wallets?
  5. USA for Africa certainly had few more black / brown faces in their ensemble.
  6. Were they aware when they made the 1984 version, that Africa was stripped of their resources by greedy white colonial fuckers?
  7. Were they aware of that when they made the 2014 version?
  8. Maybe they should’ve have written that colonial history into a verse or 2.
  9. Maybe they did and it got taken out? ? ?

Band Aid~ Do They Know It’s Christmas, 1984

Band Aid ~ Do They Know It’s Christmas, 2014

Yeah, so that was my day of pondering …


366 reasons to smile ~ +136.

+136. I didn’t … but I hope I will someday ๐Ÿ™‚


use to think


to look outside


was a character-


that was



held by mamas,

plural –


but it aint.

in fact




has led me

to believe,

that instead

of this character-


being pretty common;

it is actu-


not held by manys.

cos manys are



pretty self-absorbed