they listen

how do you make someone listen to you.

not listen, like:

‘ah huh’

sorta listening.

i means

listen: with more than their ears.


kpm ©


 

me, she

no more said she

she said no more

but no-one listened

 

why me she said

she said why me

but no-one listened

 

scream she did

she did scream

but no-one listened

 

rage she did

she did rage

but no-one listened

 

no-one listened

too her

her too


kpm ©


why hurt?

its not that they couldn’t

or even that their honesty was

more to do with their own insecurities.

it was that they did.

that they said it

with no consideration,

of me.


kpm ©


 

Image

like them

and like them,

they said it was ok.

with their mouths.

.

but their eyes.

said something different.

and their souls.

.

yes I can see them.

.

their souls said a completely different

thing.

.

watch my hands.

i’ll sell you something

you don’t need.


kpm ©


 

Image

conversation to self

Its been a couple of brilliant days, full on days. Trying to keep to my therapeutic (Blah blah) schedule ;)

I managed a slow walk to the beach, beepers and stick in hand, music for my ears. I got there, enjoyed the sand and sun, even a couple of strangers strolling by didn’t seem to bother me too much. Nice I thought :)

Heading off home…the heart started to speed up and the vision started going abit blurry – tried really hard to notice what was changing in my thoughts…head. Noticed I had sped up…I obviously wanted to get home and was finished with all the wonderful sightseeing, therapeutic bullshit…I was over it…really. So instead of speeding up more…which is what I usually do…freaking myself out in the process…I slowed down, breathed slower. Then stopped. Had a little chat to myself..which went abit like…

“righteo dick…if you speed up your gonna set yourself into a panic…you cant make this walk any shorter unless you’ve turned into a super fit athlete overnight and didn’t fill me in on it? No…so you are gonna have to slow down…if you happen to pass out I’m pretty sure someone will pick you up…you won’t be out here too long…but if you slow down, breath….you might just actually enjoy what’s around you…stop squinting at everything, your making it worse…focus on one thing…breath then move on to the next…we’ll do that the whole way home…right…lets go”

LOL

I got home, in one piece, took a nice little triumphant selfie and posted it on my fb page ;)


kpm©