Tag Archives: living

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.. . . .. 6

“they made their choices.
& now i make mine. i got better taste though. JS.”
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#bnw
#bnwpolaroid #polaroid
#bnwmood #bnw_mood
#bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers
#hitamputihphotography
#noirstreet #street_leaks
#streetoftones #streetizm
#streets_unseen
#noirstreetlife #bnwmacro
#lensculture #lensonstreets

#maori #photographer
#artist #tutu
#linguistic #truth #seeker
#etcetera
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#birthdaymonth
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#kpm©
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“April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Yeah it’s some fucked shit that this is even a thing. But it is.
So theres a link in my bio, for you to donate to Sensible Sentencing Trust NZ, or Google something similar in your country. The kids being fucked over would thank y’all, if they weren’t so busy with being fucked over.”

. .. . 5

“i don’t believe in forgiveness. forgiveness assumes that i give a shit ’bout you.”
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#bnw
#bnwpolaroid #polaroid
#bnwmood #bnw_mood
#bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers
#hitamputihphotography
#noirstreet #street_leaks
#streetoftones #streetizm
#streets_unseen
#noirstreetlife #bnwmacro
#lensculture #lensonstreets

#maori #photographer
#artist #tutu
#linguistic #truth #seeker
#etcetera
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#birthdaymonth
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#kpm©
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“April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Yeah it’s some fucked shit that this is even a thing. But it is.
So theres a link in my bio, for you to donate to Sensible Sentencing Trust NZ, or Google something similar in your country. The kids being fucked over would thank y’all, if they weren’t so busy with being fucked over.”

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. . . . . 4

“back in the day i was assured that fuckshit behaviour wasnt the norm .. ‘youre hyper sensitive’ was what they said. turns out, motherfuckers were all shit. i ain’t hyper sensitive, & fuckshit behaviour is a whole world norm”
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#bnw
#bnwpolaroid #polaroid
#bnwmood #bnw_mood
#bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers
#hitamputihphotography
#noirstreet #street_leaks
#streetoftones #streetizm
#streets_unseen
#noirstreetlife #bnwmacro
#lensculture #lensonstreets

#maori #photographer
#artist #tutu
#linguistic #truth #seeker
#etcetera
.
#birthdaymonth
.
#kpm©
.
.
“April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. Yeah it’s some fucked shit that this is even a thing. But it is.
So theres a link in my bio, for you to donate to Sensible Sentencing Trust NZ, or Google something similar in your country. The kids being fucked over would thank y’all, if they weren’t so busy with being fucked over.”

. . 3

some things cost a whole lot more than money ..
from first thought to last action .. I know who much this cost you my beautiful friend, & I appreciate it massively ✊
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@mrs_mixxwell
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#bnw
#bnwpolaroid #polaroid
#bnwmood #bnw_mood
#bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers
#hitamputihphotography
#noirstreet #street_leaks
#streetoftones #streetizm
#streets_unseen
#noirstreetlife #bnwmacro
#lensculture #lensonstreets

#maori #photographer
#artist #tutu
#linguistic #truth #seeker
#etcetera
.
#birthdaymonth
.
#kpm©

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… .2

“don’t wish i was like u. have a look @ what i am.”
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#bnw
#bnwpolaroid #polaroid
#bnwmood #bnw_mood
#bnw_diamond #bnw_globe #bnw_legit #noirlovers
#hitamputihphotography
#noirstreet #street_leaks
#streetoftones #streetizm
#streets_unseen
#noirstreetlife #bnwmacro
#lensculture #lensonstreets
.
#maori #photographer
#artist #tutu
#linguistic #truth #seeker
#etcetera
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#kpm©

qik update :

its been nearly a week and a half of not being at home!!

i’m currently elsewhere doing shit i need to do.

here’s what i am concurring :

  • i need the ocean, sound and smell, like a fat kid needs cake.
  • i am able to more than i originally thought
  • i am able to be away from home when the need is relevant
  • i can enjoy my life anywhere
  • i am completely able to find the joy in the small things no matter where im at, sometimes its a little harder
  • i am waaaaayyyyy more heartier than originally thought ;)

i go back home in just over another week & i will breathe in the air like i never left. but in the meantime i am practising being absolutely present where im at.

its harder than it seems.

but i can do it.

i can actually even enjoy it <3

kpm©

 

an end

my threads

are a hope.

a series,

of hopes.

the hopes

that I’ll have an answer

a reason,

as the time goes by.

that as i go through the process

i’ll end up with better

answers.

 

i be forgetting though,

that the process

is the answer.

that there is no beginning and end.

it just is.

kpm ©

 

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unfucked.today.

So between where I live and where my Mama lives there is this old house. It sits all by its little self, abandoned, in a field of grass.

Now we’ve been passing this house for god knows how long … 5-6 years … and every time we go past, and if I’m not hyperventilating and holding onto my seat … or crying or having a panic attack … I usually look up and notice it and say to my partner … “I want to stop and take a photo of that house oneday”. And then we drive on and I continue doing what ever breathing or freaking out shit I was doing.

Well, today I decided to go and see my Mama. 1st big call of the day, cos its been a busy week for Me. But I wanted to go help her with her cleaning and to be honest, I’m getting sick of being lame. I get I need to rest when I need to rest, and I can’t run on adrenalin … adrenalin is not my friend! … but I needed to do this. So that decided, the 2nd big call of the day was announcing to the partner on the way out the door, that I wanted to drive from our driveway to the 100k sign just on the outskirts of our little village.

Gasp. LOL.

He was a lot surprised, but I wanted to keep some momentum going re driving. So I did that.

Moment of stunned silence and a moment of victory dance ensemble.

Thankyou.

With that done and Me getting out of the driving seat I said to the partner (2nd announcement lol) … “You know that house we drive past and I say I want to stop and photograph it one day?” … “Yep” says He. “Yeah well, today we are stopping so I can photograph it. Ok. Okay.”

Again he looked a little surprised lol.

Off we went and we stopped and I photographed it.

Is it the worlds best photograph? Nope.

Is it even a picturesque scene? Nope.

Do I like it? Yes.

Do I feel like a winner … lol? Yes. Yes I do.

You see … it occurred to Me somewhere in this week, that I need to do what I want to do … Now. Not wait for ‘another’ time, or the right time, or a better time … because that never comes.

There is no right or better. Theres just Here and Now.

I’ve been doing the best I can with what I have for a very long time and haven’t really stopped to appreciate the fact that it is All good. That every little step; every photograph; every little quiver or perceived ‘fuck up’; every little breathe; every little shitfest or crying fit; every little and big scream; every running in the opposite direction … is Just Fine.

Because Today … I got to take my photograph.

That makes Today a good day to be alive :)

kpm ©

 

yah know what …

i do believe i am tired. sick and tired actually. of. being all fucked up!

i do believe i am tired. sick and tired actually. of. being a lame ass bitch!

i do believe i am tired. sick and tired actually. of. being a fucking pts(d) retard.

i do believe i am tired. sick and tired actually. of. being so scared shitless of everything.

……

i am over it.

i want a life back.

not the last one, cos that one sucked.

i want a life. a new one.

i don’t want to end this one.

i just one a new one.

a new me.

a brand fucking new

ME.

kpm ©

 

ae … remember

remember …

the little things.

every little

bitty

thing,

that marks

progress.

kpm ©

 

the first

41 years of surviving shit,

and i have just realised,

everything i do now …

is for the first time.

kpm©

 

believing

I learnt something about myself today, in amongst trying to focus.

I have a whole heap of beliefs…that I don’t actually believe.

I’ve been hanging onto them for so long…because…I think, at one time or another during my life, they suited my purpose…were all that I knew…I didn’t have a wider understanding…they were easy…or easier than the truth…they were true, for that time.

The fascinating thing about reviewing ones own existence, is that the oddest of things surface…right on time I suppose.

kpm©