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emdr, treatment experiment

  • So the psychologist reckons we’re going to start EMDR therapy. She’s all perky and positive…she’s just been trained to the art…Mmmm….I’m sceptical…but I’ll give it a dam good go though.
  • Dr Google reckons it’s similar to Exposure Therapy and that’s…well, I’m still undecided.
  • The em-wave, coherence, bio-feedback thing is…shit at the moment. Can’t get the damn thing out of the red, which causes stress…anxiety…Grrrr
  • Still do partial raw food and lypo spheric vitamin c
  • On quarter zoplicone…however you spell it…sleeping pill!
  • Sleep is…tentative. 230am-3 is the ‘norm’ at the moment
  • Walking…is getting hard again. Something gives me a fright and that’s me for a week…I aint going anyway. That’s extremely annoying to say the least
  • Back to this EMDR thingy…psychologist is all perky and shit having been newly trained…which means I’m her first guinea pig…think that’s what makes me sceptical. Delving into my memories and shit, whilst I think about something positive?? Sounds like one of the many other little experimental treatments that are en vogue at one time or another.
  • Think I might figure out my own
  • Blogging seems to be working…pretty sure that’s not on ACCs list of treatment plans though
  • Still haven’t heard from Case Manager…its been…ahhh…10 months…apparently she’s ‘busy’ but she’ll get back to me
  • I got an advocate :)
  • I think there’s pressure from ACC to get a move on with the ‘treatment plan’ and get better all ready so they can cut my compensation off
  • Compensation hasn’t been reviewed for 7 years and is the huge sum total of $35 per week.
  • Assholes
  • Forgot to tell her my levels of pissed off-ness are almighty at the moment
  • Note – next session, go over all the shit above
  • 2nd note – if she gets that glazed eye, not really listening, look … FART. She should take notice then.

lessons & psychological misgivings. hey, it seemed to work though.


kpm ©


 

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ptsd treatment update

  • The binaural beat things seem to be working in conjunction with sleeping pill reduction
  • Walking everyday seems to be tiring me out naturally, at last
  • Backlash of sleeping pill reduction – lots and lots of dreams – exhausting and vivid – a replay of old things I’d forgotten – some exceptionally hideous ones
  • Noticing more
  • More aware of when the panic starts to set in – usually before I leave the house – and on my way back – maybe 5 minutes before I reach home
  • Last couple of days I’ve been able to minimise the panic and yesterday was able to detect its starting moment
  • Terrified of what is coming – what I’ll walk into
  • Breathing and self-talk – I am not going home to anything I can’t handle – this place is the safest place you have ever been, in your whole life – enjoy it, don’t dread it
  • Doing 3-4,000 mgs of lypo-spheric Vitamin C – research suggests high doses of vitamin C help to reduce/repair the damage high cortisol levels / adrenaline have on the immune system.
  • I’ve added more protein to my diet, as research again suggests increased protein helps with the latter
  • Protein and green tea …. but I can’t do the green tea oooouuuuyuck … I have a raw egg instead :0 lol
  • And finally – the raw food eating seems to be doing me good – I don’t digest heavy, therefore my heart rate doesn’t increase – therefore no panic
  • It also means – less allergic reactions – and I’ve been able to decrease my antihistamine intake
  • And finally – I’m now able to take raw cows milk …YUM … and have cut out soy milk – research again suggests that long-term use of soy (non organic) increase progesterone – in my case that aint good :)

Keep going you good thing you xo


kpm ©