so, we got back last night:

overall, i was fucking awesome.

not just the exhibition, but the days before & after, which were jam packed with more stuff than i usually would do in like,  6 months.

but now i’m blowing chunks like that chick off’ve the old exorcist movie.

& it appears that i have another layer of fuckery to manage …


oh well: @ least i didn’t blow on the exhibition ;)

i shall do an update with photos when me & the porcelain have finished bonding.



oh yes, its that ‘christmas’ thing

It’s that time of year where the expectations shoot through the roof.

What do I mean – other than the usual …’buy me’, ‘try me’ thing?


Pts(d) has a few quirks to it. They aren’t excuses or slight difficulties; they are what make the diagnosis PTS fucking D.

Breaking it down for the simple-tons:

Theres the “P” for ‘Post’ … meaning: Past or after.

Theres the “T” for ‘Traumatic’ … meaning: so mind fucking, body bending, make and shake You fuckery that it completely fucks over your mind, body and soul.

Theres the “S” for ‘Stress’ … meaning: weight … big old weight on the body and mind that doesn’t go away with a little R&R. It stays; sets up camp and feeds on your soul.

Theres the “D” for ‘Disorder’ … and although I beg to argue this tag, it means: It’s a mental illness because it messes with yah feng shui.

Yes these are the typical “Me” translations, but you get my drift ay.

So what this bitch does to the body and mind and soul, are managed and battled on the, D for daily!

And then comes these glorious times of year, where yah breathing and trying stay calm and go with the flow that you’ve been practicing all year round …

And then some cunt rings and wants you to “come to a family outing” in like an hour. And as you respectfully ask for details and say you’ll have a little think on it but will probably decline the invitation … there is that Tone that happens.

That heave in the voice of the caller … that Tone that says without saying it:

“Oh for fucks sake, its christmas, can’t you just stop being a self fish dramatic bitch and suck it up for the afternoon???”

Well, actually …. No. I. Can’t.

And this is just one of the merry little reasons christmas makes Me want to curl up in a ball and roll the fuck away.

kpm ©



Self Care and Coping With My Panic Attacks

Part 2 from Ms Mangos Panic and Anxiety ‘How Too’s’ … Thank You :)

For more please visit ‘Gain Through The Pain’.


Gain Through The Pain

There’s only so much preparation you can do for yourself when you live with a panic disorder.  Unless you’ve found yourself a way to live attack free (therapy to remove triggers, hormone or nutrient replacements to fix imbalances etc, keep in mind, we don’t all have these options), you know full well that at some point another one is going to hit.

And another, and another… and another.

There are two main important things to consider when managing self care with heightened anxiety and panic attacks. The first is handling the day to day actions and buildups that can influence how our disorder may play out. The second is coping and caring for ourselves after an attack hits.

In two recent posts I mentioned the difference between anxiety and panic attacks and I covered a little bit of the basics on prevention and preparation when dealing with both of them as…

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