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mauri of me #19 shoe porn

I was thinking about stuff I like … shit that makes Me feel Nice … Yah know … Just to add to my ‘365 reasons to smile’ mojo …

So I decided to google #shoeporn … because shoes are just one of most favourite-est things … well good shoes that is.

Any who … I was quite disgusted, nay appalled, at what our millennials believe is a good shoe, be-fitting the hashtag slash title of “Shoe Porn”.

Apparently a sneaker, that looks similar to what I could buy at K Mart for $14, but said sneaker has a teensy tiny little label on it, that alludes to the possibility of that shoe being a Louis Vuitton; but not actuals … well that shit is classed as ‘shoe porn’. Wtf right?

Now I’m No expert in shoes … however, there are a couplely things that place a shoe (for Me anyways) in the Shoe Porn Zone.

A. They’ve gotta be sexy. … and I don’t mean hooker boot sexy; I mean classy, Italian,  Yanis Marshall dancing in them, sexy.

B. They’ve gotta suit your feet. They’ve gotta suit You.

Now, my Nan was my shoe fettish idol. She had heels for miles and her feet had arches like Naomi Campbell. I loved watching her get all dressed up to the nines, with the heels that perfectly accompanied her outfit. She was my version of quintessential elegance.

Shoes became something that I gravitated towards and unknowingly collected like other peeps collect little ceramic angels that gather dust on their shelves. Shoes were my go-to for elegance and relief. I’m a dress from the shoe up kind of girl; meaning the shoes are everything … except for the, ‘how’ you wear them.

For Me – Shoes are an Art unto themselves 😉

Heres a little sample of what I’m referring too.

by Gucci

by Alberta Ferretti

by Richard Braqo

My taste in shoes is obviously way overpriced … but I know my taste in shoes is also gangstah … and they make Me happy … and isn’t that all that matters really!

*Oh … I feel another shoe collection coming on 😉 *

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mauri of me #18

From https://envirowatchrangitikei.wordpress.com:

“NZ has a rocket base that’s received $25 million Govt funding & is financially supported by the world’s largest weapons trader, Lockheed Martin”

In other posts, I’ve recently touched on my Father and Land Issues.

Both of these things are things which have shaped Me.

The land that my Father has been wanting to ‘return’ too, and build on, is next to the land in this article.

This has also been a point of dis-contention between us.

Throughout the generations there have been what the Indigenous have referred to as Kupapa, or supporters of the Colonial Cause. Their infamy has taken on a few forms, but selling off land at a pittance, or defrauding their own people are 2 of their most loathsome traits.

In this day and age, Kupapa still exist.

Their rhetoric however, has been tweaked.

Now they tend to espouse that We are not ‘utilising’ our resources properly; or We should ‘collaborate’ with the Crown, usually in the form of receiving their ‘assistance’ … that assistance usually comes with a clause in the documentation which states (in a nutshell), that if the rates are not maintained; the land is not maintained (to their specifications) etc, then the Land becomes the Crowns. We are advised to form Trusts and borrow from banks, using the Land as collateral.

The Land in question at the moment (in the re-blogged article), is next to this Rocket Base.

The long term environmental impact is unknown.

The long term cultural impact can be predicted really.

Again, We will be shafted.

This angst; this fuckery; this … ‘please listen to some kind of reasoning’, but they don’t … is a huge part of my make up … that churns in the depths of my gutt.

It’s why I Respond.

Rangitikei Enviromental Health Watch

Rocket_Lab_Launch_Complex_1_(Sept_2016) The new rocket launch-pad at Mahia NZ …  Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Rocket Lab is an American aerospace corporation launching out of New Zealand
SOURCE

Did you know that NZ now has a rocket base? This news seems to have flown under the radar for many. I only noticed it myself a month or so ago. The base is actually situated in Mahia on the East Coast of the North Island, however it was originally planned for the South Island at Kaitorete Spit near Christchurch, also near Birdling Flat and the Radar/Haarp Station there. The length of time obtaining consents appears to have been the deciding factor about a change in tack.  Rocket Lab noted one thing that prevented it from launching close to Christchurch which was the need for a cultural impact assessment from the council. A decision was made to locate the launch pad at Mahia instead. A cultural…

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mauri of me #17

slow and steady.

little by little

my view is changing

i know it is

i can feel it,

see it.

what i notice,

is the same,

but better.

who i notice,

is the same,

but different.

….

i knew i would

i could

just didn’t know

how, or when.

….

i’m a resourceful bish

like that.

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mauri of me #15

Religion.

I don’t stand anywhere near it,

Or for it.

But I won’t diss you for it.

 

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mauri of me #14

My moko #3.

She’s a beauty. She’s 3 and has always been mamas girl.

Which has produced this secure, steadfast, knows exactly what she likes and doesn’t like, kind of little darling.

What is ultra funny though … and I appreciate immensely, is that she seems to be able to intimidate most people. I’ve even seen grown men squirm 😉

As strange as this sounds, it is true.

Little darling won’t talk if she doesn’t want to. Especially if she doesn’t understand what it is your saying … or if what you’re saying is bullshit 😉

As the ‘conversation’ evolves, you can see the adult digging themselves a big ass hole that they pretty much cover over themselves too. All the while, Miss 3 hasn’t said a word but has kept eye contact throughout.

Everything that ends up pouring out of the adults mouth, are all those uncomfortable little social innuendos that people do in social situations, but aren’t really ‘anything’.

With Miss 3, it goes abit like this:

‘Oh, you’re so cute; How old are you; i bet you love kindy; which kindy do you go too; oh thats a pretty dress; did your mama buy that dress; oh i see you have chocolate; aren’t you a lucky girl; oh you don’t say much do you; she’s cute though …..’

The hole has been dug at this point.

None of that ‘conversation’ is for anyones sake other than the adults. They’re not actually asking questions for Miss 3 to answer, they’re just filling up the air with that whiney ‘ohhhhhh, you’re so cute’ voice that people like to make when they talk at children.

The Brilliance of Miss 3 …. ” Homie don’t play that 😉 ”

Oh I love her … I feel like we’re kindred spirits LOL.

Well, the other day … Miss 3, chose this little treat for Me.

The partner wanted to get something ‘flashy-er’: but Miss 3 chose this.

And I loved that she chose this one: it’s not adult-y, at all 😉

mauri of me #13

I like to paint with black, red and white.

Sometimes, deep dark blue.

I prefer my reds to be bright, blood red. Glossy.

Everything else – matte.

I love working with my hands,

and raging against the canvas.

I prefer abstract,

because thats my normal view,

of this strange, distorted world.

I don’t understand pretty painted flowers and

life like birds.

I can take a photograph of that.

But i can appreciate someone elses beauty in it.

I just don’t understand it.

I love the art of:

Colin McCahon,

and Ralph Hotere.

Those I get.

I love large canvas …

as big as the walls, large.

I can make a huge old fucked up mess

on those.

I love words.

My words are blunt.

In my art, that is.

Ok, everywhere.

I don’t like to hide away meaning.

I prefer that my intention slaps you right in the

mooch.

My art – my painting

lets me release

what i cannot

sometimes

all the time

oft times

….

explain.

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mauri of me #12

My Partner.

I have my days where I’d like to throttle him; not in a good way 😉 And then there’s day, or nights, like last night, when I get that he gets Me … and I’m grateful.

The nightmares are re-surfacing / flashbacks are becoming more frequent.

But of course, I’m not alone in my bed anymore; or dosed up to the hilt on sleeping pills.

Last night I had another ‘trapped – get Me the fuck out of here’ dream. Whenever these happen, the partner has been trying to wake Me – without getting his head smashed in by a half asleep Me. Instead, last night, he did the following:

Spoke loudly, but calmly – so I could hear him.

Rubbed my shoulder, gently and calmly.

Left his hand on my shoulder until I had woken up.

He kept repeating: ‘It’s Ok dear … you’re dreaming … I’m here’.

For this, and for many other quirky reasons which I tend to forget – I love him.

He is the Yin to my Yang.

He leaves me these: to make Me smile 🙂

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mauri of me #11

Who I am,

is connected to :

who I love.

what I have experienced.

who and what I protect.

Not much else.

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mauri of me #10

As horrific as it sounds, pts(d) / sexual violence – has shaped who I am today.

Does that mean it is part of my mauri? I’m not sure … but I know its effects run deep … it’s nightmares still touch my psyche / my soul.

I’m trying to work that out – live with it – reconcile it.

It’s a bitch.

And on the really hard days, there are some things – some methods – that I have developed to help me relieve the anger – the gnawing frustration.

This is my favourite one:

And definitely not for the faint hearted. Not all those that know the reality of sexual assault / violence will appreciate this … but for Me … it fills Me with joy. Sheer, vengeful joy … that No amount of talking, explaining, acknowledging or letting go, will ever compare too.

_____ Take One Movie:

“The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”

…. Fast forward to “the girl with the dragon tattoo torture scene” … which by the way is so named as a clip on YouTube! With 92, 776 views, it just shows how relieving the whole scene can be for someone like Me 😉 If you want the entire scene, whereby Lisbeth Salander tattoos “I am a Rapist Pig” on the gutts of the man who has raped her; you’ll have to peruse the archives a little more … not such a popular clip with joe blow public.

But for Me … These two clips … actually the entire movie … are immensely relieving.

I look forward to the day, that my dreams turn to a scene like these. Where it is Me that is exacting the torture; not the other way around.

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mauri of me #9

As you know, my relationship with my father, has been … tentative … estranged … different. But it is what it is …

I’m grateful for life … and have to thank him for a certain portion of that.

It’s hard to know what to say about it him, because I don’t know him that well. I am pleased, that at 45, I get the chance to get to know him just a little bit more.

I know his life was pretty shit … he endured some hard times and inflicted some equally hard times on others.

Out of everything … I hope he finds some peace. Just like Me … I hope he finds some contentment within himself.

Haumi e – hui e – taiki e …

me and him

me and him