366 reasons to smile ~ +52.

+52. I don’t have a +52. I’m going through all my posts and it turns out on the 21st of February 2017, I didn’t do one of these posts. Why?

Fuck knows.

Does it bug Me that I left a gap?

Fucken ay.

And that makes Me Smile.

Because I’m an anal fucker like that. And now I have a +52 post.

Good lord LOL.

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366 reasons to smile ~ +144.

+144. I was browsing through the word press stats thingy – which I don’t really do enough – and discovered this little beauty.

Turns out when I yell at the spell check for re-spelling my expletives and native languages (both cultural and natural language), it’s taken note, and has put them down as ‘Phrases to Ignore’ LOL! I have quite a few!

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366 reasons to smile ~ +129.

+129. So many reasons to smile actually … but can’t you just feel the enthusiasm?? … yeah, well thats what I love 🙂

Yanis Marshall HEELS CHOREOGRAPHY “7/11” Beyonce. MILLENNIUM IN LOS ANGELES. FILMED BY @timmilgram

from YouTube

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366 reasons to smile ~ +126

+126. Apparently they thought I cared. What is it with the secrecy shit? I don’t get it … gave me a grin though 😉

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366 reasons to smile ~ +122.

+122. Self-explanatory 🙂

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~ Soren Kierkegaard ~

Life can only be understood backwards;

but it must be lived forwards.

 ~ Soren Kierkegaard ~

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366 reasons to smile ~ +116 …. the dinner was gang-stah ;)

We started with Brunch for Mama … cos why not, right … if your going to eat all day, you may as well start it off right 😉

Croissants, Melted Chocolate and Coffee (Perculator and Plunger)

1st course, or ‘Aperitivo’, of the Main Menu, was the palate cleanser … Spumante.

Surprisingly (not .. lol) everyone wanted a little nap after that …

2nd course, or ‘Antipasti’, was Pizza … with a shit tonne of Mozarella 😉

3rd course, or ‘Primi’, was Watercress Brodo (Broth). This one, I found particularly gangstah … and for those that know what our Aotearoa boil up tastes like … well this broth was inspired by that.

4th course, or ‘Secondi’, was Lamb Rack with Salsa Verde.

The picture says it all … and the evening sky was just beautiful.

Alongside this course, was the 5th course, or ‘Contorni’, which was Watercress and Green Tomato with burnt butter. Yes, I know …

6th course, or ‘Dolce’ (dessert), was Vanilla Bean Gelato. It came out way better than I expected … and I served it with stewed plums, juice and chopped mint.

7th course, or ‘Formaggio E Frutta’, was a selection of local cheeses and a selection of fruits.

8th course, or ‘Caffe’, was fresh ground beans, percolated … Gang-stah !!

And last but not least, the 9th course, or ‘Digestivo’, was my Limoncello. As the course suggests, this was all about the digestion 😉 And we certainly needed a little aid after all that food.

I think what I enjoyed the most was the laughter … and hanging out with everyone I love.

I had such a nice day …

And bonus … my brother gave me this little beauty (not a very good pic soz) … its a beautiful black stone in a hand crafted ‘frame’ or case, otherwise known as Black Tourmaline … renowned for its protective properties ❤

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I woke up and needed to Scream

I went to the beach.

It’s one of those cloudy cold days today.

My kind of day.

I fought with Tanagroa (the ocean) today.

I screamed at him.

I punched his waves.

Raged against his currents.

Screamed and screamed some more.

Screamed until I couldn’t.

 

 

 

updates please

It’s been a few hazy dazy confusing and slightly stressful weeks. Not anything specific, just a build up I think.

My head has been pounding for weeks and my shoulders feel as tight as a bitch, and I’m pretty sure thats what adding to the tip. I’m still on 1/3 antihistamine and as was the plan, I won’t drop it again till everything else settles down. No use pouring petrol on an already roaring fire aight!

Add to this, my gutts is doing some interesting things; whatever it is, it’s adding to the anxiety … my nemesis!

So back to the basics: the deep breathing … trying to relax my body … focusing on whats important and flipping the rest … I ended up taking a 1/4 sedative today though, just to try balance shit out.

*I note, 2 houses have just been sold: the one next door to us and the one over the road, and these money makers have decided to renovate before they sell on. I have nothing against renovations, however, all the noise puts me on edge. Me and noise – especially power tool kinds of noise – seem to fuck with feng shui massively. This then sets off my eye sight – every thing starts feeling way to bright – brighter than it actually is and that messes with my head. Yesterday i was walking round the house with industrial ear muffs on, and ear plugs in, and dark sun glasses on! Amusing to an on looker no doubt, but I was doing my do and trying to minimise the effects. I still needed the sedative today though.

And then just cos … my dreams have decided to torment me again. They had eased a lot, but seem to have returned with vengeance. Some are the usual horrific-ness. But most are somewhere between a really busy day and a flashback. I can smell everything … feel everything. There’s peeps showing up in my dreams that I haven’t seen in years … there’s family members I haven’t seen in years either … some dead, some not so dead lol. Then theres the continuous feeling of dread.

And that dread is feature #1 of pts fucking d.

And so here I am … unfolding … trying to get to the bottom of my deal before I need a little more than a 1/4 sedative!

Que Music Therapy 😉

ouch

healing;

is a

messy

process,

that knows

no

bounds.