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unfucking thyself 101.94

Karakia:

Atua

Tukua

Homai to Aroha

Ae.

94.

Now this isn’t my photo or meme, and this isn’t where I usually make mindful statements about someone elses arty / meaningful shizz … so apologies to whoever wrote this … my train of thought today was more in response to this rather than to criticise your truth …

So, that said … I found this in my stash of memes and was about to repost, as it had obviously resonated with Me somewhere along the way …

But yah know what … it just doesn’t anymore … and I got issues with it.

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Little girls don’t learn to be strong and independent from being broken … they learn to walk with a limp. They learn to hate and disassociate … they learn to cope, strategise, steal and survive.

Little girls Should Not Have to Broken to learn how to be strong and independent.

Little girls should be able to depend on those around them, to love her and protect her.

That isn’t her issue … it’s Theirs.

Theres no high-fucking-fives to be had out of being strong and independent from being broken … it’s a stain on our fucking nation that any child is broken!!!

Get my fucking drift????

Strength comes from survival, sure. But would you really wish a whole lot of brokenness on your child so they can become strong and independent? Fuck No!

I think it’s an excuse we’ve all made up so we can justify not having intervened, spoken up, asked the right questions, made the phone call, held the gaze a little longer … all those things that people know they should do but it just feels to darn uncomfortable.

Justifying the strength of a woman later on in her life with the brokenness she has experienced … is not a reason / justification.

It’s a poor fucking excuse for humanity.

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365 reasons to smile ~ 23.

23. I don’t possess this skill. Yet :)

#meme reads:

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

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note to self:

Easier said than done sometimes: But I get it …

And Breathe –

#meme reads:

If it fucks with the vibe of your soul you got to let it go.

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the unfucking of oneself

weekly project

weekly daily project

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reconciling the hormones #64

A slightly topsy turvey week on the hormonal front … but I’m slowly getting the hang of it. It just means I can’t go as fast or as full on as I’d like too … it means I need to take regular ‘breaks’ (sounds ironic) from doing what I’m doing … and breath! The ice packs are helping and the weather cooling is also helping! Actually had a day there where I didn’t have one hot flush … Yah!

My insides are in constant pain, but thats nothing new, so has been a little hard to differentiate between whats just a ‘Me-ism’ and whats menopause … but like the rest of it … I’ll get it eventually ;)

The emotional balance, or imbalance – if theres actually such a thing *insert eye ball roll*, has been a little better .. or I’m just embracing it better. I burst into tears at what I would usually call stupid ass shit … and then other stuff makes Me want to start a riot! But I won’t because that’d bring on one kick ass hot flush lol (I know, because I tried ;) )

I’m still disturbed by the reference to menopause being a ‘womans disease’; it’s been referred to as this in a few conversations this week. I get that its one hell of a pain in the ass and vag and everywhere else, for us biological women … but a disease??? I don’t think so.

That’s another script to flip ;)

#Meme is a cartoon depiction of a biological woman sitting on a male doctors bed, in a hideous pink gown, looking at the doctor like he’s a dick. On the back wall theres a poster of ‘Menopause Symptoms’. The doctor has his script pad in one hand, a pen in the other.

The caption reads: “You need strong medicine to relieve your symptoms. I’m prescribing chocolate.”


Now that sound more like it!!! ;)

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#JS

#meme is a photograph of a large black and white cat sitting on the ground its ass; less and paws forward; it’s ears pinned back and it’s tail protruding from under its ass, and looking slightly annoyed.

The caption reads:

When someone tells me to sit like a lady.

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reconciling the hormones #63

Hmmm what can I say about the hormones this week? They’re fuckers … and I’m having a hard time appreciating them, even though I said (in one of those fits of “oh, this sounds like a good idea” moments) I wanted to embrace the ‘end of an era of womanhood’. Yeah, turns out this ‘ending’ could be going on for like 10 years or so … fuck it.

Anywho … it is what it is … I’m still plucking, cramping, flushing (although these are calming thanks to the drop in temperature around these parts .. thank fuck), sweating, teary, dizzy, anxious, generally lethargic with random fits of rage!. I feel like Garfield … remember him? But more violent.

All I can say this week is womanhood sucks ass.

#meme is a cartoon picture of a ‘eclectic’ looking biological woman. The cation reads:

My husband said the Spark was gone from our relationship, so I tased him. I’ll ask him again when he wakes up.

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reconciling the hormones #62

So far this week theres been:

ALOT of dizzy.

ALOT of headachey

A SMIDGE of cramping.

A CLUSTER FUCK of menstrual starting and stopping … Wtf is that about?

A FUCKLOAD of anxiety.

Topped off with a huge over serving of PANIC FUCKS … like 1 – 2 per day.

As disassociated as I am, I was still attempting to discern the difference between menopause, menstruation, being a biological fucking woman, stress, pts(d), ‘normal’ anxiety and panic fuck.

Then in amongst it all somewhere I did the ‘Fuck It’, it’s all fucked, lets just medicate that shit and get on with it … Then thought better of it … side effects and all … and just sedated my ass for the night, got a good sleep and am thinking slightly clearer today.

It’s Menopause Bitch.

It’s fucking pts(d) Bitch.

It just is what it is.

If you fucking die from it, so be it. But chances are (going from your history to date), you won’t die from it: it’ll linger on for quite a while longer and torture the shit out of you.

Then you’ll get up. Dust said shit off. Flip the bird at it and at all biological Men for just being Men … And go terrorise something or someone else :)

#meme is a cartoon picture of 2 biological women tending sheep (shepherd-ess’s??). The conversation reads:

S1: They just abandoned the sheep to chase after some star

S2: Must be male menopause

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#thoughtfortheday

#meme is a quote, or excerpt, written by an unknown author, and reads:

Are You An Activist?

“An activist is someone who cannot help but fight for something. That person is usually not motivated by a need for power, or money, or fame, but in fact driven slightly mad by some injustice, some cruelty, some unfairness – So much so that he or she is compelled by some internal moral engine to act to make it better.”

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just cos …

#meme reads:

When you gotta delete your post because you’re just not the same person you were 6 minutes ago.