man time

Thanks to some old friend of the partners, he’s been off watching rugby today. I could almost smell the testosterone seeping from his pores as he left this morning with his beersies packed in the chilly bin and a comfy chair to sit in during the 40 minute each way, game lol.

Couldn’t think of anything more boring … except maybe dinner with the in-laws …

But this is long over-due for the partner. He’s been in need of ‘man-time’ for ages; I’m hoping he’ll return a bit less of cunt than he has been for the past few weeks.

Not sure why or how … I don’t really understand men very well. But he gets this irksome thing happening, where he just looks like he wants to wrestle someone to the ground and roll around in the mud with them. I’m never keen.

Whatever it is … it seems to be quenched with his man friends, beersies and Rugby arrrghhh lol.

Hallelujah 😉

no i’m not ~ responding #9

contrary to popular belief

i am not here for:

your pleasure

your ogling

your hands

your dick.

i am not here for:

you to tell me to smile

to act like a lady

to speak quieter

to be quiet.

i am not here for:

you to moan at

to cry too

to comfort

to console.

i am not here for:

you to learn

to observe

to quote

to re write.

i am not here to:

teach you about me

usher you around the edges

coddle and envelope

educate.

i am here

because I am here.

No more.

No less.

morning grizzle before i get to cleaning …

most mornings i try to find something beautiful to look at; breath in; focus on … as well as something that makes me smile. i try and ignore the shit, if i can, just for an hour or two anyways. which is why i usually end up on my blog; after i’ve enjoyed the sunshine and a banging cup of freshly brewed coffee!

the partner … oh hell … well he’s a different kettle of fishys …

i’m trying to ‘get him’ more … but men are not really my most knowledgeable point … and from his point of view, i’m a man-hater … hmmm some truth in that, although it is a little harsh i think. we’ve talked at length … well, i;ve talked at length in the hopes that he’s listening … over the years, about how i got that way. aside from the obvious sexual assault blah de blah, he seems to think i just woke up hating men. i’ve said to him, that there are days where i wonder if the world would not indeed be a very different place without men in it; especially for those of us who have been on the end of their rage, greed, control … filth. but then the conversation veers back to those men in my life – few and far between – who have meant the world to me; who loved me. and they are my ‘measuring stick’ for the men i come across. i don’t know if thats fair or not; but it is what it is.

so, the partner has taken to waking up and moaning his ass off; sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly. but it always starts the same “fuck i hate my life” is the new go too line for him. i spent a couple of weeks trying to buffer his sentiment with “why” or “are you ok dear” … and then resorted to “what the fuck” or “fuck up for fucks sake; your life is sweet”. this morning though … i just walked away. i don’t want to hear it. the latter retort is quite mood dampening lol.

but i’m left wondering, if i’m missing something. i know men are wired differently than women, well he’s wired differently than me; i know his up bringing has been different than mine. and in a nutshell, i consider him to be a spoilt shit; his mummy has wiped his ass and his nose for far to fucking long and bailed him out of everything and anything; so there have been no ‘hard times’, no lessons learnt … no repercussions or consequences for actions.

i shit you not, i’ve never met another set of siblings who have been bailed as much as this lot. just as a taster, heres a small list of the things they ‘get’ from their parents:

  • cars – paid for / rego / warranted / tickets and fines paid for / fixed
  • damages to houses – paid for
  • world trips
  • a place to stay
  • food to eat
  • the use of parents car, with gas (after writing off their own)
  • money
  • bills paid
  • resources bought

these are grown ass kids … all in their 30s.

so when the partner gets up in the morning and says “i hate my life”, in essence, he means:

  • i hate that i’m a big boy now and i have to pay my own bills, even the ones i make myself (shock horror) …

because, aside from that grown up item, his life seems pretty sweet to me. he gets paid compensation every week (yes, understandably, not an ideal situation, especially for a man who likes to work, but it is an income none the less – and a shitload more than what some people get – what i get!); he lives at the beach; he is ‘well’ (not minimising the pain he’s in most days; but this time last year we were waiting for the results of his biopsy to see whether he had cancer or not!); aside from registering and warranting the car, he doesn’t have to DO anything else … he doesn’t clean, he moans if he has to cook, he rarely does the lawns or the yard … i’ve done most of those things because a. i used to feel a sense of obligation slash ‘fairness’ quota – he pays the rent, i should do the rest, and b. he’s been in pain. thats shifted slightly when i watched him cleaning out his man cave and moving furniture for a mate … turns out he can ‘push through the pain’ when it involves kudos from your peers; not so much when it only involves enjoying the pristine and hygienic whiteness of a freshly cleaned toilet bowel!

anyway … my grizzle is … if you haven’t already worked it out …

how does a fully grown man have sweet fuck all to complain about when theres nothing to fucking complain about? could it be that his go-too is complaining, like his mother does? or could it be that he’s used to having shit done for him all the time and is feeling a little ‘over loaded’? or am i missing something??

because from where my broke ass is sitting he looks like he’s gotten a pretty sweet deal!

alright, rant over for now … coffee time 🙂

 

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365 reasons to smile ~ 255.

255. I’m still laughing! LOL

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365 reasons to smile ~ 251.

251. Yes we are 🙂

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men *eye roll*

After a nervous couple of days … I discovered that every man and his freaking chainsaw has decided that pre-spring is the time to whip those bastardy things out and do abit of essential ‘pruning’. And just as one finishes the other starts up … I think the testosterone around here is having some sort of competition to see who can start their chainsaws the earliest and run them the longest.

Fuck Me! Thinking of doing some essential ‘sabotaging’ of all their power tools tonight grrr.

you and the cat

must be nice being you,

with nothing to do.

no washing,

no cleaning,

no cooking,

no shopping,

no organising,

no wiping,

no picking up,

no putting down,

no folding,

no lighting,

no chopping,

no ringing,

….

no nothing.

….

except

sleeping

eating

shitting.

….

bit like the cat really.

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365 reasons to smile ~ 163.

163. Me and the partner had a convo similar to this one, just with a few more ‘colourful’ words thrown in … up shot is … ME, has more bargaining power LOL 😉

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use yah .. initiative??

“I expected you to

Use Your Initiative”

he says …

as he’s

looking for his undies

his socks

the lid for the milk

his car keys

his eftpos card

his appointment card

his phone

the lawn mower

the rubbish bin

his drawers,

where all his clothing lives

…..

shall I go on?

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365 reasons to smile ~ 128.

128. I’m still in the ‘stomping’ process LMAO 😉

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