and we have happy hormones!
‘celebrating the little things’
and we have happy hormones!
‘celebrating the little things’
All over the dam place.
Thats an apt description of what those little bastards are doing.
The other day I kinda felt like I was getting a wholesome grip on the whole transitional menopausal thing, and feeling slightly grateful for the hormones that are part of my biology. Yah know, the ones that make my uterus shed its fucking lining each month and make Me want to impale someone/s to the nearest tree.
But today I’ve gone from cool and calm to tearful and fucking agitated … to clarity and organised … back to tearful and agitated.
Whilst the period is coming to a close, my insides are still uncomfortable and the anxiety is peaking and dissipating as fast as I can say ‘fuck it all’.
And I am breathing … well trying … and reminding myself that being a biological woman is a beautiful thing … and hey, you’re about to be a Nan again! ‘Your legacy is about to grow again …’ and that couldn’t happen without the assistance of your uterus … blah blah.
Oh my fuck.
Biological womanhood aint all it’s cracked up to be ;)
photography & art @kpm-artist
So, the happy hormones are slowly settling into a nice little groove.
Ok, so ‘nice groove’ is an optimistic term; one that I hope will turn into a ‘actual reality’!
I’m kinda getting used to what is a hormonal fluctuation and what isn’t lol. And the best way to describe it, is it’s like being pregnant and having your period all at once.
I can cry at the drop of a hat, at not much in particular … and then be overwhelmed by rage the next second. My already broken ‘filter’ becomes even more of a menace and my thoughts can go from crystal clear to an absolute scrabbled egg!
So much Fun … *groan*
So aside from the emotions, the physical side of things means my waist line is getting lost (in reality its been kinda lost since the mid-2000s *extra groan*), the facial hair does whatever the fuck it wants, the boobs are heading south even more than they were, and my uterus feels like its crawling outta my vag every other day.
The only difficulty here, is discerning what is just ‘ageing’ and what is purely hormonal and will hopefully pass as 50 something comes and goes … farkkkssakes lol.
All in all though, I think I’m doing Ok. I know when to hit the floor and do a bit of yoga … I know when I need 2 ice packs instead of one, and I know when I should probably just have a nap instead of posting on facebook lol.
So this will be my last hormonal type post for awhile … if not forever.
I might update when the periods stop completely … Yuss!
Love and light to y’all my menstruating / menopausing peoples … Mwah!
Hmmm little bastards …
They’re up and down and all over the fucking place at the moment. Feels like a really long rollercoaster ride that promises an end, but so far we haven’t gotten to it …
And I moan my ass off on days like yesterday and today … but really, in comparison to a few months ago, I’m getting a handle on my shizz … slowly … ever so slowly … but the point being … I am getting a handle on it ;)
I’m bracing myself for the next period round, which always bring an added touch of excitement to my life …’said No Woman Ever’ …
I started taking iron tablets a couple weeks ago, just cos, I felt like I needed it … it’s taken that long to get used to them but I can feel a slow steady increase in energy levels and less funky-ness, which is cool. Don’t worry, I aint counting my chickies beofre they hatch … but it is a trial and era sort of thing.
And since I’m mapping my cycles alot closer, I’ve decided to up my doses of Vitamin C a week before my period just to see if it helps with the headsches, dizzyness and generalised unwell feeling I get throughout.
Oh well, fingers crossed ay!
She’s been a harsh few weeks, hormonally speaking … well I think it’s the hormones anyway.
I’m all over the fucking place … thats the first thing that gave it away!
But then theres the panic fucks … that seem to have heightened slightly over the last week or two. I took stock and realised I was actually packing away more anti anxiety meds in a day than I thought. Freaked Me out a little … but I’m slowly getting back on track.
I’m blaming stress and hormones. The two together are utter bastards.
And why the pretty green leaves I hear you ask …
The sort of nauseating irritating feeling you get when you look at the shiny yellowy green? Thats what ALL this feels like a the moment.
Thanking the earplug goddesses for the newbies … and still breathing deeply.
Thats all I have to say about that.
Oh okay, I shall expand.
Said hormones, be kicking my ass at the moment; and my-eth ass is laid up feeling sorry for itself.
There yah go :)
Soooo, the hormones ay … this is the current status of those puppies …
They are producing mind-boggling, skin inflamed rashes.
Now these aren’t ‘abnormal’ for Me … and I’ve had eczema for years on and off … thanks to my ultra sensitive skin. But this lot is wildly irritating and hair pullingly annoying. Made even more annoying by my decrease in antihistamines … which by the way, I only take when I absolutely have too … and yes, this was one such occasion.
The rashes seem to come with hot flushes and thank fuck the hot flushes seem to be subsiding, possibly due to the weather being a little cooler … not sure really.
I’m basically winging the hormone thing … still haven’t been to the doctors, cos captain obvious is bound to just state the obvious … ‘You possibly in peri-menopause and we can give you *such and such* drugs and hormones …’. Yeah, not doing that so I’ll save myself $40 and just roll with Aunty Google and natural remedies.
Which reminds Me, a friend has suggested Peppermint Essential Oil for the hot flushes … apparently it helps with the cooling down thing … so I’m gonna try that next week.
The panic attacks and anxiety are slowly subsiding which makes Me pretty certain that they are effected by hormone fuckery.
Oh the joy.
Seriously though, I am pleased I’m slowly piecing things together and am able to try ‘new’ natural things.
It all feels like progress and transition … oh and it’s definitely helped embracing it instead of dreading it.
So, apparently no biological woman has died from / during Menopause.
Do we know if any partner of a menopausal woman, has been greviously harmed / killed during the course of them saying something extremely stupid to said menopausal woman?
*asking for a friend*
Hmmm what to say about the blessed hormones at the moment ??
Ahhh, so thats what I was going to ramble about, was the vertigo situation.
It gets worse around pre-period time even though the blessed doctor says my hormones have nothing to do with the vertigo situation; I think he’s all cack … and having never had a period himself, how the fuck is he supposed to tell Me that I am wrong … Pfft.
So, menopause wise … it kinda go-figures that if my normal is vertigoy at period time, then it would do the same at menopausal time .. Right?
So working on this theory … and having spent the last 2 days flat on my back (for a lot of the day anyways) or in some lotusy type position on the floor … the dizzy, vertigo feeling should pass within the next few days and return on the odd occasion just like a hot flush … hmmm
But just to throw a spanner in my theoretical works, I’ve realised that with the lessening of cigarettes, I am thusly coughing up some amazing looking gunk and my sinuses are doing some freaking shit which throws out my physical balance aka more fucking vertigo …. sooooo …
It could also be plausible that when all nicotine and other such shit is outta my system … and my sinuses and lungs have thusly adjusted … and my natural feng shui has returned to that of a 11 year old (when I started smoking … ), I could be feeling abit more balanced???
Well fucking hope so …
So, until I figure out abit more … Cheers to all biological women and their biological-ness ;) Yous have my sympathies and undying admiration!
Hadn’t quite decided whether I do this hormonal update thingy everyday again, or weekly, or whenever the fuck I like …
So I decided to ‘be like the hormones’ … and randomly show up, fuck things up and then fuck off again :)
So when in need I shall update.
Anywho … this is Me trying to do some kind of Yoga thingy … didn’t work out so well picture wise, but the breathing and stretching was the go.
Me and Mat Time :)
You know whats extra funny … this is the best picture out of the lot! It’s a lot harder to take a selfie that looks good when your sweating like a rapist are in the midst of a panic fuck and are trying to breath and smile …
So fuck it … this is what it is lol.