doing you on social media.

i came across a dude to follow on FB the other week.

the opening statement he made was about challenging male fragility. that he  had decided that it was a time for change & a ‘remake’ of his own beliefs & he was pleased with the progress. toward the end of the statement he notes that he won’t tolerate the misogynistic bullshit that is espoused from his peers.

big ups i thought.

he understood. he embraced & he was making changes to the way he related to others & how others related to him, or espoused their views around him.

what disturbed me, was the backlash he got, not from other men, but from, would-be feminists.

they told him in no uncertain terms that his use of certain words were derogatory toward women & that if he was really serious about his changes then he should have researched the words he used before he used them.

which brings me to this.

i’ve been told on many occasions to not to use words niggah, retard or cunt, to name just the favourite trinity. to that, i say, get fucked.

i view the ‘correcting’ of my language use as a type of patriarchal / ethnocentric view, that says that I, am not able to use a word in a different context, (which i may add i have been called all of these things by their original derogatory context) than was originally intended.

its all in the intent people.

& we are so busy picking to bits the context of anothers dialogue so we can appear a little more righteous than most, that we miss the intent of it.

all i can say to those feminists & any other self righteous know-it-all cunt, is #YouDoYouBoo & #IWillDoMe.

thats all.


kpm ©


 

Image

wife bullshit

had a recent interesting reminisce with FB compadres re my past life of church-going wifey-ness.

i was never really that good at either to be honest.

thank fuck.

reason?

both are bullshit.

and thats where i’ll leave it.


ps: not my meme.


kpm ©


 

really.really.

and they say its because they’re entitled.

in my world its called, spoilt fucken rotten.

JS.


kpm©


 

Link

Yes, All Men…Until You Prove Differently

A sweet “Amen” to this one!

For More please visit https://afrosapiophile.com and you can follow the author of this piece: TaLynn Kel whose links are at the bottom of the article.

TaLynn Kel is an Atlanta based, badass black feminist who enjoys liberated thought, especially those of Black women.  She’s also a renegade cosplayer.”

AfroSapiophile

I recently had a paradigm shift. I have decided to limit my collaborations with men. All men – unless they are going to fight for my visibility and recognition.

It sounds weird to say it aloud, but it’s a logical choice. We live in a misogynistic culture that habitually ignores Black women, and I’ve found that this is true with men regardless of race or sexuality. Men are listened to more, acknowledged more, and given credit for activities of which they were a minor part, and they feel entitled to that credit.

Not only do they feel entitled to it, pointing this out leads to accusations of jealousy, excessive ego, and man-hating. I’ve been told it’s not their fault and that I’m misreading the situation. That I’m impatient. That I need to get over myself. They’ve tried to convince me that if I’m not getting recognition for my efforts, maybe…

View original post 837 more words

i often wonder about the patriarchy

Really?

Yes. Yes I do.

I wonder sometimes if I was a middle to upper class white guy, how much different my world would look right now.

Bare with Me.

Would the pts(d) have gone undiagnosed for so long?    … No.

Why?

Because as a middle to upper class white guy, I would have had access to some dam fine resources; both personally and professionally.

Would a middle to upper class white guy had his bank insurance denied because of a ‘pre-existing condition’, that was not diagnosed by a ‘professional’? …. No.

Why?

Because he just wouldn’t have! Thats why! And technically speaking, refer to the above reasons.

Professionally speaking, as a middle to upper class white guy, would a “medical discharge” from my profession been my only available option? … Also No.

Why?

a. There would have been another ‘niche’ for Me to fill that required ball sacks only. b. There would have been professional avenues extended to Me as an ‘executive’ with ‘formal qualifications’. c. The doors of opportunity would have been thrust open, using my ‘incapabilities’ as an avenue for ‘climbing the ladder’.

As a person with a lack of ball sacks, were these things offered? … No.

Instead, motherhood was a ‘hinderance’ and stifled my ladder climbing abilities apparently.

Although aptly qualified, those became ‘over’ qualifications.

And although security and safety were sadly lacking at my place of employment, and probably led to the re-awakening of pts(d) panic fucks; I was instead asked about my hormones … whether I was having issues at home … whether I was to ‘small’ to work in this environment … and whether my dress code was in need of de-sexualising.

I worked in a kiddy prison for boys aged 14-17, for 4 years and if I had’ve known I had pts(d) prior to working there, I would have re-thought my strategy. Instead I walked in blind, to a patriarchal, systemically misogynistic and racist system, that I was unprepared for.

.

And here I am.

Qualifications still framed on the wall; breathing deeply so the anxiety doesn’t become unbearable … typing away, so I don’t dwell on this shit all day … trying to figure out how on earth I’m going to pay for my tooth to be pulled out … and looking down the barrel of Christmas, again, as a 40+ year old biological woman, whose hormones are fluctuating like fuckery, who owns virtually nothing but the computer gifted to her by her shrink; holes in her undies a massive headache and sweet fuck all to offer ‘the world’.

And … I can’t even say “At least I have my health”.

Days like today … I really do think that being a middle to upper class white guy would’ve been nice.

********

Please Note: No middle to upper class white guys were harmed during the writing of this post.


kpm ©


 

just a rant waiting to happen:

As previously stated on many, many an occasion, these are my beefs:

  • colonisation
  • misogyny
  • sexual assault, particularly of children
  • racism

I rant these topics regularly.

I follow these topics.

I respond to these topics.

I also live these topics.

I am also trying to resolve these topics on the daily.

They’re not a passing fad.

They’re not an ‘in thing’ for the moment.

They’ve been and will continue to be a lifetime of outworking, responding, resistance and resolving.

I have to.

I am brown.

I am a biological woman.

There aint no other choice.

My resistance of these topics has taken variations, particularly over the last couple of years. By responding verbally, I have been able to clarify and resolve them in part.

I have started to become more aware however, of a peculiar type of fuckery involved with misogyny, that has probably been there for way longer than I’ve been noticing it; but thusly noticed, I am beholden to respond.

With colonisation, theres a peeling back of the layers to find the crux of the issue. For Me, this has been a decade or so of said peelage and the crux usually turns out to be another layer to peel away.

At the core however, colonisation holds it strength in a persons/cultures mindset. Sure there are the systemic layers that we fight against; that we can work to change legislation on; that we can unpack and reframe. But at the end of the day, the war is left to play out, within our minds.

What do I mean?

Take for example, the changing of educational legislation. We can restore our native language; we can start our own schools; we can work to have bilingual units within the mainstream; we can argue to have our (accurate history) taught within the curriculum.

But can we abolish all Crown education?

No.

Not without starting a riot or 10.

And for Me, this is the crux.

They layer bullshit over bullshit; feed us crumbs and let us ‘have’ slight changes. But at the centre of all of this, we are fighting for a system that was thrust, quite violently, upon Us. It’s not something we asked for, or petitioned for, or voted for or discussed and agreed too.

So what are we really fighting for?

To be heard within a system that is inherently, not ours? Why? It’s not ours!

And the same layered bullshit is repeated with everything “Crown”. The justice system, the health system, the economic system … they were all thrust violently upon us.

Is the answer not in, extracting ourselves from all of it? Is that even practical? Or maybe the answer is finding a way to live within it without it muddying up our waters?

What is Not cool though, is those that believe we should ‘get over’ the past and ‘move on’. But that moving on isn’t ‘ours’; its what is ‘prescribed’ For Us.

Now if this looks familiar when placed over the misogyny concept, that’s because it is. It’s the same fuckery.

Over the centuries women have had male theories of what and who we are and should be, violently thrust upon us. As we have peeled back those layers to get to the truth and to undo the damage, we have been prescribed another male concept of how and who we should be.

Yes, you can vote. Yes, you can be gay. Yes, you can work outside the home. Yes, you can be a prostitute, legally. Yes, you can marry another woman. Yes, you can have mammograms and smears. Yes, you can have your babies in a hospital.

But why are we asking permission for something we can do anyway and asking to do something that was not changed at our behest and was rehashed, Not as our choice in the first place?

Over the centuries we have been ladened with roles and reversals. We’ve been told we have No rights / are property. We’ve been burnt, raped, beaten, stripped, re-assigned, removed, silenced and murdered. Why? Because misogyny says it can treat us like that? Similar to the slave owner mentality, it is believed that women are nothing more than chattels.

The fuckery however, lies in Us believing this bullshit. Being so worn down, that we believe their bullshit; re-live their bullshit; teach their bullshit … and take anything that looks slightly positive, as making ‘strides in the right direction’.

“But it’s changed – women are listened too now … they have options …”

Really?

Take this for example then:

Your average thriller movie scene. A woman. A prostitute. Being picked up by a customer who looks like he hasn’t showered in a decade or 2 … The scene focuses on what she has to offer: which is of course – tits and ass. It focuses on what she’s selling – sexuality. It focuses on what she was unable to do when she’s attacked because he believes he’s to good to pay for a whore. It focuses on the ‘whore-ness’ and what she did to bring this attack on: thats right – tits and ass and sexuality. Theres no winning here. She’s fucked if she does, and fucked if she doesn’t.

My point?

Our society Still feeds the ‘women are commodities’ theory and the ‘mother theresa versus slut’ theory. We sell it. We buy into it. We believe it. Men and women alike.

So while we have ‘advanced’ as such, we are still fighting the age old fight of being heard. But who silenced Us? Why did they silence Us? Why do they insist on telling Us what to do and what to be? Are they threatened? Who let them prescribe what we should be like? How we should respond? And how we should resolve it?

Don’t believe this mentality is still being perpetuated on the daily?

The other day I heard a parent say the following to their 3 year old daughter:

“Close your legs darling … we don’t want to see your underwear”

I cringed. I mean, I cringed hard!

Everything in Me screamed … “Why? Why the fuck should this little person close their legs? So an adult doesn’t see their underwear? Whats wrong with underwear? Why are you worried about underwear? Is there something underlying that your Not stating?”

And I can hear the rhetoric now!

And I had this conversation with my partner, just to gauge the ‘temperature’ of that rhetoric. Apparently … men are just trying to ‘protect our virtue’ … still. But who asked them to protect our virtue? What the fuck is virtue anyways? And who are you protecting our virtue from? Other women?

No. Your protecting your chattel from other men.

And this mentality has been deeply embedded within us. And comments like the above one, not only teach us that theres something wrong with us having our legs open; our underwear; having fun; being a child … but it teaches us to Care what other people think of Us. It teaches Us that we are property; that we need protection from an unseen threat; that we should be afraid; that we should be modest and ladylike …. that we should fit a certain ‘role’.

Do you feel Me?

We are being told, advertently and inadvertently, what and who we should be; how and where we should act. And within those parameters we are fighting; we are responding; we are trying to gain leverage; trying to ‘make it’; trying … trying all the time.

This is what I call the colonisation of the mind … with misogyny.

We’ve become what they wanted. We respond as they want. We defend as they want. We Teach as they want.

The fuckery again:

Now, We, not them, are teaching our children this assimilative bullshit.

Mamas are telling their daughters they need to be modest. Why? Because we bought into the ‘virtue’ bullshit? Yep, and we bought into the gender role bullshit and we’re teaching that shit. ‘We’ are teaching gender  and roles.

Why?

Why can’t we find our own prescribed method of being? Why can’t we teach our babies to Be … Be themselves! Why are we teaching them to fit a gender role or a sexuality type or a job type or a face to wear in public? Whats wrong with teaching them to be strong, to explore, to resolve, to think, to laugh, to love, to care, to use their initiative, to develop … these aren’t gender specific or role specific qualities. They’re growing decent human being qualities.

[Side note: this is how our indigenous ancestors lived.]

I’m not sure that I’ve completely unfolded what this all means for Me or my mokos … but I’m sure as shit not having them believe they are only good for certain things based on some white archaic view of gender. And when I say mokos, I don’t just mean my biological female grand babies … I mean all of them. I don’t want our biological males believing they have the right to dominate based on their penis. I also don’t want them to believe that they have to be some stereotypical patriarchal, ‘thou shalt not cry … harden up or go home’ ‘male’ either. I just want them to Be, and to Not be assholes.

Be themselves … Be decent humans.


kpm ©


 

Video

heads up.

 

(not my meme)

Misogyny, like racism, in my opinion, is a learned behaviour.

And it’s bullshit. As is the ‘boys will be boys’ rhetoric, when describing the bad behaviour of some boys/men. It’s this sort of bullshit that has kept misogyny alive and well in 2017, when it should be long, long gone.

Don’t teach your boys to be little assholes. Teach them to respect themselves and their own bodies first: then teach them to use that same respect to respect the space and bodies of others.

(not my video)

kpm©

SaveSave

SaveSave

SaveSave

Link

who the fuck was jezebel anyways

I only knew what I’d been told from many a sermon. The ones that were a prelude to sin, sinful ways, un-subservient wives, hell and damnation. That Jezebel was a manipulative, conniving whore who was ultimately thrown out a window into the street to be eaten by dogs.

All the women in the church would shift uncomfortable in their seats. All the men would grow a few inches in their chairs, look down the length of their noses at the surrounding would be harlots of the church. Single parents, young ladies – unwed young ladies, young ladies, girls that had usually turned down their tentacles and bullshit laying on of hands in prayer.

One friend of mine, an in the closet lesbo at that stage, had an older man, a ‘up standing pillar of the church and community’; rub her back during one of those laying on of hands sessions…her back…her lower back…her ass…her side…the side of her boobs…oops her boobs. She smacked him in the face and left in tears. Fucking good on her. She never came back. Go figure. But she was forever thereafter called Jezebel as well.

The first time I remember being called Jezebel, I had refused to take my hat off in church. I think I must have been about 13 or 14. I had come in late and sat in my usual spot at the back. I was still attending church, because I had too. It was part of the requirement for living at home. I came in and sat down. I wasn’t really paying attention, but I had skipped the 3 fast songs, the 1 slow song, the tithing speech, tithes and the next slow song. I arrived on the ‘winding up to 10 minutes of worship’ song, where they would all touch the face of God. I often wondered what would happen if God had said…”shit you lot are predictable and fucking boring! Go do something productive and feed the couple hundred kids round the corner that don’t have any food because their parents spent it all at the pub last night”. That would’ve been good.

But as I was pontificating, one of the ‘godly’ dudes came sidling up to me and asked me to remove my hat as it was disrespectful. ‘To who’, was my reply. ‘To God’, was his. ‘I don’t think God cares’, I said. But this dude did. His shoulders started puffing up and he got a bit of a chest thing going on…nearly frothing but not quite. ‘I told you to take it off…the Bible says you shouldn’t wear hats inside’…’really, where abouts does it say that?’. The good thing about sitting in church for years is I pretty much had a pretty good idea what was in that bible and what wasn’t. And what he was referring to was in the Old Testament somewhere…and they were forever rambling on about how the Old Testament had become defunct since Christ came back and died and stuff. Until there was a good occasion to revitalize the Old Testament for their own purposes…and this was one of them. Needless to say this dude got pretty pissed off with me, in the biblical sense of pissed off; I didn’t remove my hat, so he removed it for me. I told him not to touch me and to get fucked.

I got called Jezebel.

I left.

So here’s an edited version of Jezebel, according to Wiki…

Jezebel (/ˈdʒɛzəbəl/,[1] Hebrew: אִיזֶבֶל / אִיזָבֶל, Modern Izével / Izável Tiberian ʾÎzéḇel / ʾÎzāḇel) (fl. 9th century BCE) was a princess, identified in the Hebrew Book of Kings (1 Kings 16:31) as the daughter of Ethbaal, King of Sidon (Lebanon/Phoenicia) and the wife of Ahab, king of northern Israel.[2]

According to the biblical accounts, Jezebel incited her husband King Ahab to abandon the worship of Yahweh and encourage worship of the deities Baal and Asherah instead. Jezebel persecuted the prophets of Yahweh, and fabricated false evidence of blasphemy against an innocent landowner who refused to sell his property to King Ahab, causing the landowner to be put to death. For these transgressions against the God and people of Israel, Jezebel met a gruesome death – thrown out of a window by members of her own court retinue, and the flesh of her corpse eaten by stray dogs.

Jezebel became associated with false prophets. In some interpretations,[citation needed] her dressing in finery and putting on makeup [3] led to the association of the use of cosmetics with “painted women” or prostitutes.

Cultural symbol[edit]

Through the centuries, the name Jezebel came to be associated with false prophets. By the early 20th century, it was also associated with fallen or abandoned women.[15] In Christian lore, a comparison to Jezebel suggested that a person was a pagan or an apostate masquerading as a servant of God. By manipulation and/or seduction, she misled the saints of God into sins of idolatry and sexual immorality.[16] In particular, Christians associated Jezebel with promiscuity. In modern usage, the name of Jezebel is sometimes used as a synonym for sexually promiscuous and/or controlling women,[17] especially as a racist stereotype of Black women, the Jezebel stereotype.[18]

In evangelical Christian circles, the “Jezebel spirit” is used to describe the curtailment of and resistance to activity regarded as prophetic by nature and to nominate a spiritual force behind individuals and groups which exercise manipulation, domination and control.[19]   “

And here’s another explanation of jezebel…according to me.

She was a strong, beautiful woman, who knew what she wanted. She loved her country and her own religion. Now I’m not sure how the church gets off throwing her name around like that…as an insult. But from what I understand, she was a Queen…born of royalty herself…and her husband was a pansy. :)


kpm ©


 

SaveSave